P***ing in the sink

The wifes sister had the most eqsquisite of cheese plants back in the day.For anyone not in the know they were all the rage back in the early eighties along with pine clad ceilings habitat whicker chairs and shag pile carpet.Anyway i digress so these mother fuckers could grow to inordinate levels of height and spread and were the focal point of any dicening gentlemans drawing room and lounge.The behemouth of all triffids and it was a regular ritual to polish their leaves.A sighn of cleanliness and pride not far removed from donkey stoning your door step in the forties and fifties.So as the years faded into months and months into days her plant became somewhat tired and lethargic and then became quite ill ! She tried all the household remedies and used the services of Gordon Rigg nuseries feeding twice daily with chelated iron but all to no avail as leaf after leaf turned sickly brown.She even played music to it as its a known fact that audio vibtations can have healing properties in the plant world.One night there was a commotion and it was her alter ego who had once more returned home from a steady session down the working mens club.Normally he would assend the stairs like a homing pidgeon back to his roost so she went down to assist and found him with kecks around ankles emtying his full bladder into the cheese plant which had been done on regular occation.Well her cheese plant made a slow recovery and after a fortnight in Coventry he returned back to the fold thankfuly admonished from this most heinous of crime..

As an addedendrum the toilets out here are inceredible and after a big night out there is no rushing back to beat the other half as we can both perform syncronised pissing with my bog even having a tap attached to it...Light years ahead of us these Spanich !
 
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I did it last night in the kitchen sink as to avoid waking my girlfriend 'Bigfoot' up. Went to bed couldn't sleep, so after an hour of tossing and turning in sweaty sheets I got up and went down stairs to make a brew and a butty. If I go back upstairs for a pee she hears me, if I turn the bathroom light on she goes fuckin' nuts. If I don't close the loo door and she hears me pissing she barks "shut the bloody bathroom door".

So I creep around downstairs as quiet as a burger in ballet shoes trying not to disturb her. I gently piss in the kitchen sink gulping of guilt but if she wakes up and gets out of bed I will hear her, to then see her big ugly feet come clompimg down the stairs before seeing her snarling face grimacing at me.
 
I did it last night in the kitchen sink as to avoid waking my girlfriend 'Bigfoot' up. Went to bed couldn't sleep, so after an hour of tossing and turning in sweaty sheets I got up and went down stairs to make a brew and a butty. If I go back upstairs for a pee she hears me, if I turn the bathroom light on she goes fuckin' nuts. If I don't close the loo door and she hears me pissing she barks "shut the bloody bathroom door".

So I creep around downstairs as quiet as a burger in ballet shoes trying not to disturb her. I gently piss in the kitchen sink gulping of guilt but if she wakes up and gets out of bed I will hear her, to then see her big ugly feet come clompimg down the stairs before seeing her snarling face grimacing at me.
You poor b*st*rd!!....sleep with both eyes open every night, is my advice.
;-)
 
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You poor b*st*rd!!....sleep with both eyes open every night, is my advice.
;-)
I used to piss in the garden grid, but we had some poncey fake grass laid recently. If I've had a few too many, my aim is out and the grass will stink like a tramps Y- Fronts. She also has a sense of smell like a bloodhound. Face like one too; )
 
I’ve worked out that pissing in the sink whilst brushing your teeth saves valuable time. Since I started doing it, I’ve not been late for work once and I’ve recently been promoted. It really does pay.
 
I’ve worked out that pissing in the sink whilst brushing your teeth saves valuable time. Since I started doing it, I’ve not been late for work once and I’ve recently been promoted. It really does pay.

Substitute shower for sink, throw in a shave and you'll be running the company before you know it.
 
I’ve worked out that pissing in the sink whilst brushing your teeth saves valuable time. Since I started doing it, I’ve not been late for work once and I’ve recently been promoted. It really does pay.
Can you multitask though, I mean properly? I couldn't brush my teeth and shake my winky at the same time without splattering my trousers in piss.
 
I did it last night in the kitchen sink as to avoid waking my girlfriend 'Bigfoot' up. Went to bed couldn't sleep, so after an hour of tossing and turning in sweaty sheets I got up and went down stairs to make a brew and a butty. If I go back upstairs for a pee she hears me, if I turn the bathroom light on she goes fuckin' nuts. If I don't close the loo door and she hears me pissing she barks "shut the bloody bathroom door".

So I creep around downstairs as quiet as a burger in ballet shoes trying not to disturb her. I gently piss in the kitchen sink gulping of guilt but if she wakes up and gets out of bed I will hear her, to then see her big ugly feet come clompimg down the stairs before seeing her snarling face grimacing at me.
Ghost+Women.jpg
 
I shared a house at Uni with 5 other lads. One day one of these lads confesses to pissing in the shower as part of his daily routine. From that point on i used to piss in the shower to try and neutralize all the other piss.
 

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