Two Gun Bob
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 2 Apr 2010
- Messages
- 12,498
The wifes sister had the most eqsquisite of cheese plants back in the day.For anyone not in the know they were all the rage back in the early eighties along with pine clad ceilings habitat whicker chairs and shag pile carpet.Anyway i digress so these mother fuckers could grow to inordinate levels of height and spread and were the focal point of any dicening gentlemans drawing room and lounge.The behemouth of all triffids and it was a regular ritual to polish their leaves.A sighn of cleanliness and pride not far removed from donkey stoning your door step in the forties and fifties.So as the years faded into months and months into days her plant became somewhat tired and lethargic and then became quite ill ! She tried all the household remedies and used the services of Gordon Rigg nuseries feeding twice daily with chelated iron but all to no avail as leaf after leaf turned sickly brown.She even played music to it as its a known fact that audio vibtations can have healing properties in the plant world.One night there was a commotion and it was her alter ego who had once more returned home from a steady session down the working mens club.Normally he would assend the stairs like a homing pidgeon back to his roost so she went down to assist and found him with kecks around ankles emtying his full bladder into the cheese plant which had been done on regular occation.Well her cheese plant made a slow recovery and after a fortnight in Coventry he returned back to the fold thankfuly admonished from this most heinous of crime..
As an addedendrum the toilets out here are inceredible and after a big night out there is no rushing back to beat the other half as we can both perform syncronised pissing with my bog even having a tap attached to it...Light years ahead of us these Spanich !
As an addedendrum the toilets out here are inceredible and after a big night out there is no rushing back to beat the other half as we can both perform syncronised pissing with my bog even having a tap attached to it...Light years ahead of us these Spanich !
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