Paper Lads......and Lasses

[Tuearts right boot]

I had two paper rounds as a kid. Evening and Sundays. My whole focus was on trying get the cunts to give me a few bob tip. I would "accidently" rattle the letter box every Sunday morning and hope some hungover **** would answer it and give me a fiver. Never happened.

One day my sister came home from school with a big bag of stolen christmas cards. I took one look at them, offered her 50p for them all and sat down and wrote in every one.

Happy Christmas from the paperboy.

It worked. Shamed them into giving me money. I made £53 that day. A small fortune to me and an indication of an evolving criminal mind that woukd serve me well.

Whatever you're doing now, it's wasted, that's not criminal that's entrepeneurial, brilliant.

 

[Magicpole]

Whatever you're doing now, it's wasted, that's not criminal that's entrepeneurial, brilliant.

I use that skill to this day.

 

[Deleted member 77198]

Thought this was going to be about Frank Sidebottom or people from Timperley in general

 

[bluemoon32]

Cycled over 15 miles in total every day on a daily morning paper round, got paid £3.50 a week.
Made a fortune at Christmas in tips, although the cunts in the posh houses rarely gave as much as the people off the council estates, a good lesson learned early in life.
Used to get weird messages off the newspaper shop owner, " don't make too much noise at number 62".
" put the paper through in sections as number 105 doesn't want it ripped"
......" never go inside the house at number 45, even if Mr Roberts ( still remember the cunts name) asks you nicely".
The 70's were nonce central when i look back, bob a job week was full of being with dodgy old cunts doing odd jobs for them in their houses, on your own, at fucking 10 years old ha

 

[Magicpole]

Cycled over 15 miles in total every day on a daily morning paper round, got paid £3.50 a week.
Made a fortune at Christmas in tips, although the cunts in the posh houses rarely gave as much as the people off the council estates, a good lesson learned early in life.
Used to get weird messages off the newspaper shop owner, " don't make too much noise at number 62".
" put the paper through in sections as number 105 doesn't want it ripped"
......" never go inside the house at number 45, even if Mr Roberts ( still remember the cunts name) asks you nicely".
The 70's were nonce central when i look back, bob a job week was full of being with dodgy old cunts doing odd jobs for them in their houses, on your own, at fucking 10 years old ha

Every paperboy can relate to this.

You talking about Bob a job brought back a memory.

I was about 17 and in my mums when the door went. Looked out the window to see four Cubs in full battledress looking up at me. " Its bob a job week, do you need any jobs doing?"

As luck woukd have it, I did. My mum.had been bursting every fucking thing in my anatomy to tackle the garden that resembled a dark, overgrown, fucking disgrace.

No problem lads, hold on. I got out shears, a hand pushed lawn mower and assorted rusty lethal scythes.

"Will you cut the grass, dig up the nettles and bag all the cuttings?

Yes we will.

And so they did. Poor little bastards were working for hours. At the end their uniforms were filthy, faces red as a bucket of Ketchup and hands manky and covered in blisters and grass stains.

Lets have a look at what you've done.

Great job, this bob a job is a great idea.

Yes, it helps us buy equipment and go away camping.

Smashing, smashing. Well here you go. I took a five pence piece out of my pocket and placed it into the bloodied hand of the tallest Cub. There you go, a bob.Thank you very much. I turned and went inside the door.

Outside I could hear those still capable of speech asking, only 5pence? Chap the door and ask for more. One of them chapped it, i opened immediately.

Yes lads.

We have been here for hours and we thought we would get more money.

But you said it was bob a job. I gave you a bob.

Yes thats just the name but usually people give us more.

So its not bob a job?

Yes it is, but its not the price. Its just the name.

Then why not call it a pound a job week?

We cant change the name.

Their wee exhausted faces looking at me with pleading eyes. I could carry on no longer and burst out laughing.

I am joking. you did a great job. I will give you a fiver on one condition? Don't tell my mum you did this work. Dont evem tell your owm mums or mine will find out i didn't do it.

Agreed.

Best fucking fiver I ever spent..

 

[Blue Mist]

I had two paper rounds as a kid. Evening and Sundays. My whole focus was on trying get the cunts to give me a few bob tip. I would "accidently" rattle the letter box every Sunday morning and hope some hungover **** would answer it and give me a fiver. Never happened.

One day my sister came home from school with a big bag of stolen christmas cards. I took one look at them, offered her 50p for them all and sat down and wrote in every one.

Happy Christmas from the paperboy.

It worked. Shamed them into giving me money. I made £53 that day. A small fortune to me and an indication of an evolving criminal mind that woukd serve me well.

I did the Christmas card trick. Every other lad got about 50p total, I made a killing.

 

[dobingsdobber]

Had a Monday-Saturday then a Sunday round for a few years after in my teens. Around Scunthorpe tho.

A milf used to occasionally come to the door in her dressing gown and collect it, once got some tit slip in when it came apart. Fond memories.

What??? she had a door in her dressing gown?
More details please.

 

[Magicpole]

I did the Christmas card trick. Every other lad got about 50p total, I made a killing.

When "accidently " rattling the letter box, coughing like an old hag, battering open a gate fails then the best among us find a way.

 

[Mad Eyed Screamer]

I had an egg round aged 14 - 16 (77 - 79) which I took over from my eldest brother when he left school and worked in the local co-op.
2 evenings a week.
Price went up and down every other week. Remember they went up 6p a dozen one week and back down 2 weeks later, only I dropped the price by 2p and doubled my earnings

 

[Blue Mist]

I had an egg round aged 14 - 16 (77 - 79) which I took over from my eldest brother when he left school and worked in the local co-op.
2 evenings a week.
Price went up and down every other week. Remember they went up 6p a dozen one week and back down 2 weeks later, only I dropped the price by 2p and doubled my earnings

Didn't they smash when you put them through the letter box ?