I prefer to believe he was one of the names associated with Operation Stitch -Up.
Knowing the rags were effectively now just copying us and moving for any player we were linked with in the papers, but also aware that city had recently upped password security to our scouting database after finding dipper crumbs leading all the way from the cookie jar to anfield, we had to find another way to teach them a lesson.
In the spirit of Churchill and the deception of Operation Fortitude, we sneakily set in motion a disinformation campaign suggesting city were looking to sign a number of players we knew were as many as possible of; disruptive, overpriced, overhyped, past it, wage-stealing, toss pot.
In their desperation to buy success and under the pressure of their hugely entitled fan base (this is manchesh yoonited!), they fell for it. Not just once, but for nearly a decade and counting, as viruses such as Ronaldo, Sanchez, Pogba, Maguire, De Ligt, Johnny Evans, Fred, Sancho, Lukaku and more rolled into the Theater of Leaks, with united of course keen to make a big deal of their success at capturing their latest prize at city's expense, when in reality they were all the while publicly dancing like chunk wiggling his moobs as they paraded in front of the whole world their emperor's new clothes, telling us all that their milkshake brings all the boys to the yard as the salty tears of realization hit them, before doing exactly the same thing again five minutes later.
And that's, boys and girls, is how the Second World War was won and united were banished to become the laughing stock we all know them as today.
