People keep opening my garden gate and pissing on my flower beds

[Bill Walker]

Wire the gate and lock up to 240 volts and adopt a fucking big Rotweiller.

 

[west didsblue]

Which is the thread you’re parodying? Must have missed it.
@Johnny Mars Bar

 

[Maintainin]

Wire the gate and lock up to 240 volts and adopt a fucking big Rotweiller.

Norman Bates Ken Bates likes this post.

 

[Citizen of Legoland]

I've assumed this is the parody thread, has someone deleted the real one?

We’re not bothering with real threads any more, did you not see the memo?

 

[r.soleofsalford]

Who carries an angle grinder to a football match???

People who think they might need a piss obviously.

 

[kippaxwarrior]

I once caught a pissed up Celtic fan try to take a piss in my shed after Roy Keanes testimonial in 2006

 

[Gabriel]

Gardeners’ Question Time has taken an unexpected turn. Beats ‘why has my Hamamelis stopped flowering?’

 

[Gabriel]

I once caught a pissed up Celtic fan try to take a piss in my shed after Roy Keanes testimonial in 2006

I know Keane isn’t universally popular, but I thought he could have filled a bigger venue.

 

[fanatic1]

You're lucky - next time I'll bring a German shepherd round to crap on your front lawn in plain sight. He'll also be accompanied by his dog.

 

[mancityvstoke]

You're showing your mettle with that post.

mekkle