‘Good evening, this is Clive Myrie on BBC 6 o’clock news, we start with the breaking news about the complete exoneration and dropping of all alleged charges against magnificent Manchester City football club by the premier league. To get the latest we go live to Dan Roan who is outside the magnificent Manchester City Etihad stadium. Dan, what does this all mean?’
‘Clive, you bluenose bastard, it means that City have done nothing wrong, and I’ve been telling lies for over 10 years about them, and now I’ve got this fucking letter <waves piece of paper> saying see you in court, signed Khaldoon, and I’ve got an appointment 1st thing tomorrow with the director general about why as head of sport I’ve had , in his words, ‘my head up my ass’ reporting on City. You can wipe that stupid grin off your face Clive!’
‘Well thanks Dan, I think you’ve said it all, and ill see you at your leaving wake tomorrow lunchtime, in other news there has been reports of mass piss boiling taking place in a diverse range of cities and countries, Liverpool, Most of London and the Home Counties, Ireland and
most of Scandinavia are suffering from localised tsunami’s of piss running through the streets… still never mind hey!’