Two Gun Bob
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 2 Apr 2010
- Messages
- 12,521
We came back to our lakeside van yesterday and were greeted by the righteous noise of two adult male swans fighting it out to the death. This is what they do, and are renowned to be the most villeanous nastiest most violent Waterfowl on planet earth. Somewhat akin to what human beings are on the animal side of things.
After about five minutes of tusseling and wing biting and pecking and kneck wrestling I decided to step in as a crowd had now gathered. I could not get to them on the lake and all I had in my hand was a packet of Mcvities dark chocolate and a Hovis seeded batch, so thinking on my feet I quickly opened up the chocolate biscuits and lobbed about three in their general direction. Each biscuit hit the mark, but all to no avail as the melay of murder most fowl continued to it's final fruition.
After another ten minutes one of the swans appeared to get the upper hand and had grabbed it's opponant by the kneck and was climbing on top to drown it. A couple of young lads on the opposite bank were trying to reach out to them and then both swans came within their range.
He grabbed one of them by the kneck and led it onto the embankement. The other swan climbed out in persuit, so his mate stuck out his foot to stop and seperate it..
A passing car screeched to a halt accross the road wherupon a lady with tourretes went into a rage about kicking swans. All the other people on the embankement tried to explain that she had not seen the bigger picure of the death fight and was therefore not fit to pass comment (a bit like the pakistani bro's cowardly attack on the woman police officers at the airport)
After lots more fooking this and fooking that and fooking t'other, the Haven security team arrived, as all mayem was now breaking loose. The two swans seperated were now getting their breath back and watching the human contingency bringing it on. The human encounter was more a case of posturing, puffing and blowing than the actual swan fight itself, which would have resulted in the death of one of them as they tired. Those brave lads really did save the day.
Anyway I lost all my remaining chocolate biscuits as we went back to our van, the packet had been opened and I forgot so they all tipped on out. If there had not of been people around I would have picked them up and pocketed them as they were three quid from the rip off site shop. We had to have seeded toast for supper!
I never managed to film the encounter but this video's more or less a full replication of what took place.
After about five minutes of tusseling and wing biting and pecking and kneck wrestling I decided to step in as a crowd had now gathered. I could not get to them on the lake and all I had in my hand was a packet of Mcvities dark chocolate and a Hovis seeded batch, so thinking on my feet I quickly opened up the chocolate biscuits and lobbed about three in their general direction. Each biscuit hit the mark, but all to no avail as the melay of murder most fowl continued to it's final fruition.
After another ten minutes one of the swans appeared to get the upper hand and had grabbed it's opponant by the kneck and was climbing on top to drown it. A couple of young lads on the opposite bank were trying to reach out to them and then both swans came within their range.
He grabbed one of them by the kneck and led it onto the embankement. The other swan climbed out in persuit, so his mate stuck out his foot to stop and seperate it..
A passing car screeched to a halt accross the road wherupon a lady with tourretes went into a rage about kicking swans. All the other people on the embankement tried to explain that she had not seen the bigger picure of the death fight and was therefore not fit to pass comment (a bit like the pakistani bro's cowardly attack on the woman police officers at the airport)
After lots more fooking this and fooking that and fooking t'other, the Haven security team arrived, as all mayem was now breaking loose. The two swans seperated were now getting their breath back and watching the human contingency bringing it on. The human encounter was more a case of posturing, puffing and blowing than the actual swan fight itself, which would have resulted in the death of one of them as they tired. Those brave lads really did save the day.
Anyway I lost all my remaining chocolate biscuits as we went back to our van, the packet had been opened and I forgot so they all tipped on out. If there had not of been people around I would have picked them up and pocketed them as they were three quid from the rip off site shop. We had to have seeded toast for supper!
I never managed to film the encounter but this video's more or less a full replication of what took place.
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