Post Something Interesting

Summerbuzz said:
I fought a running battle lasting nearly an hour with about a dozen wasps at lunchtime. They started appearing through my windows. The first one went like a dream, peepe him flying towards my light as I entered the room. Did an over-arm smash to bat him away, caught him right on the sweet spot of my middle finger, sent him flying straight back the way he came, five metres arse first out the window. Drew the curtains but left the window open, then a couple more found their way through. Sent them out, they turned up in the next room. Knocked one out cold, fell into the garden below, hopefully to be eaten by a cat before he regained consciousness. But no! Minutes later they appeared in the first room. This repeated over and over - I know it was the same ones because one of them had one really fat wierd leg. I stuck my head out the window to check the area, Christ knows where they all came from, but here they were, buzzing eagerly around a 10 metre perimetre outside and above my windows. What? There were open cans of energy drink in the garden - but no, they weren't interested in that. It was my room. And not my rubbish, because the bins went out this morning. Was it my pitcher of lemon tea? I didn't use any sugar at all in making it.

Whatever it was, as far as they where concerned, there was something about the area around my flat. Regardless, the question remains unanswered - where they all came from. There's nowhere around remotely likely to hold a nest. There was no point in asking any more questions. A truly random wasp attack had broken out.

At this point, I reached for whatever documents were lying around and started getting serious. Half an hour later, six verified kills - not one leaving squashed guts on the window or anything. Just lifeless insects, fully intact, the life knocked clean out of them. A corona vaccine handbook wielded with the trademark calm purposefulness, timing and precision of an MS Dhoni. The wave receded. Since then, not one more sighting. Nothing else like this has been reported locally. I gazed out of the window at the concrete 5 metres below my window. Their they lay in the blazing sun. Returned to where it all started, to check the window one last time - on the ledge, one remained, throax twitching on the window sill, the only one to have shown any signs of life at all. I blew him into the small web in the corner of the window frame for the spider to deal with.

That was it. No more sightings. The first of the bastards to invade this year - and hopefully the last - all arrived, and left, in that 60 minutes.

Fuck wasps. Look them dead in the eye, and swipe them with your hand, straight back where they came from. If they come back for more, good. The more of these fuckers you kill, in generations to come, the more evolutionary pressure you create on the species. Kill as many as possible, and you pick the lines that avoid humans like you to survive and breed. Your descendants, presumably living in a GB where heat waves last 9 months of the year, will thank you.

No, that wasn't very interesting at all. But I have wasted a fair bit of your time, and that's the only reason anyone comes on these sites anyway.

You're very welcome.
Click to expand...
Bet you had a right sweat on lol, i have bees in the airbrick outside my window , i had one just inside today but it very sensibly went back out
 
kaz7 said:
Bet you had a right sweat on lol, i have bees in the airbrick outside my window , i had one just inside today but it very sensibly went back out
Click to expand...
Bees are a different kettle of fish.... kettle of bees?

Love Bees. Don't fuss over a Bee. Bee gentle.
 
mexico1970 said:
You can now officially class yourself as a survivor mate :)
Click to expand...
if he carries on like that, there may well be nothing to survive for

wasps are among the most ecologically important organisms for humanity: They pollinate our flowers and food crops. But beyond bees, wasps also regulate populations of crop pests such as caterpillars and whiteflies, contributing to global food security.
 
Sir peace frog said:
if he carries on like that, there may well be nothing to survive for

wasps are among the most ecologically important organisms for humanity: They pollinate our flowers and food crops. But beyond bees, wasps also regulate populations of crop pests such as caterpillars and whiteflies, contributing to global food security.
Click to expand...

still cunts though
 
KS55 said:
Actually the fast acting magnatron was invented in the 30s and is the basis of radar, microwave ovens, mobile phones and much more. The British gov agonised over whether to give it to the US for free as part of the war effort. We did and the yanks made a fortune.
PS The music cafe in HB (opp Co-op) well worth a visit, open Thurs Fri Sat. unless lock down has done for it.
Click to expand...
I shall search out that one! One of the party this morning was moaning about the menu. Jeez, they had crumpets on it! We'll see what the music cafe has to offer next time we're in HB.
 
I have just spent a nerve wracking thirty minutes in the political threads and thank God Riculas afforded them their own special place in space. Lifeless is not an adequate adjective for the toxic atmosphere that face the unwary or uninitiated. Even the most hostile habitats of mother earth harbour occasional life forms by means of extremophile bacteria or archaea, but I tell you this with all certainty .. they would not last a solitary moment in that bubbling festering den of iniquity .. so abandon hope all ye that enter.

At great risk to mind body and soul I managed to secrete a random transcript of their inane babblings.

s0XSaq4.gif


Moderation I've placed that transcript below to a spoiler for fear of upsetting the goodwill of our off topic brethren.
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers : /

And tea cups and decorative plates and plastic guardsmen and last night of the Proms and the rotting corpse of a sad, flabby, class ridden, shitty little island, living in an idealised past, consumed by doubt and self loathing, salved only by alcohol fuelled stupor.
 
Last edited:
So.... (Annoying eh :))

Went to Ikea yesterday and we ended up in the cafeteria for a coffee and piece of cake.
Anyway this couple aged probably late thirties sat down at the next table with a little 5 year old boy.
They had three meals and drinks.
We were all sat there approximately 45 minutes and during that time Mum and Dad continuously had their faces is in their phones. Completely absorbed in some shit.
.
The little boy just sat there eating and having a swig of his orange juice, just staring into space.
I just thought what the fuck is wrong with people these days that they can't put their phone down and Converse ....enjoy a meal with their little boy, what is so friggin important on the phones that they ignore each other and the child.
Anyway it kind of upset me that the kid was being ignored his parents, I had kids and wouldn't dream of doing this.
I even wanted to go over, pull up the chair and talk to the little guy.
Bad parenting example or what ?
 
Last edited:
Bill Walker said:
So.... (Annoying eh :))

Went to Ikea yesterday and we ended up in the cafeteria for a coffee and piece of cake.
Anyway this couple aged probably late thirties sat down at the next table with a little 5 year old boy.
They had three meals and drinks.
We were all sat there approximately 45 minutes and during that time Mum and Dad continuously had their faces is in their phones. Completely absorbed in some shit.
.
The little boy just sat there eating and having a swig of his orange juice, just staring into space.
I just thought what the fuck is wrong with people these days that they can't put their phone down and Converse ....enjoy a meal with their little boy, what this is friggin important on the phones so that they ignore each other and the child.
Anyway it kind of upset me that the was being ignored his parents, I had kids and wouldn't dream of doing this.
I even wanted to go over, pull up the chair and talk to the little guy.
Bad parenting example or what ?
Click to expand...
Yeah, so right Bill. Not surprising if they grow up into horrors if mum and dad don't interact with them, teach them, encourage them. Jeez, its so basic.
 
Bill Walker said:
So.... (Annoying eh :))

Went to Ikea yesterday and we ended up in the cafeteria for a coffee and piece of cake.
Anyway this couple aged probably late thirties sat down at the next table with a little 5 year old boy.
They had three meals and drinks.
We were all sat there approximately 45 minutes and during that time Mum and Dad continuously had their faces is in their phones. Completely absorbed in some shit.
.
The little boy just sat there eating and having a swig of his orange juice, just staring into space.
I just thought what the fuck is wrong with people these days that they can't put their phone down and Converse ....enjoy a meal with their little boy, what this is friggin important on the phones so that they ignore each other and the child.
Anyway it kind of upset me that the was being ignored his parents, I had kids and wouldn't dream of doing this.
I even wanted to go over, pull up the chair and talk to the little guy.
Bad parenting example or what ?
Click to expand...
Bang on Bill. I watch them walking down the street pushing the little one in the pram, their faces glued to the phone either talking or texting.
Years ago there was a song (cats in the cradle?) About a dad who ignored his son, years later the roles were reversed and son ignored dad.
 
Bill Walker said:
So.... (Annoying eh :))

Went to Ikea yesterday and we ended up in the cafeteria for a coffee and piece of cake.
Anyway this couple aged probably late thirties sat down at the next table with a little 5 year old boy.
They had three meals and drinks.
We were all sat there approximately 45 minutes and during that time Mum and Dad continuously had their faces is in their phones. Completely absorbed in some shit.
.
The little boy just sat there eating and having a swig of his orange juice, just staring into space.
I just thought what the fuck is wrong with people these days that they can't put their phone down and Converse ....enjoy a meal with their little boy, what this is friggin important on the phones so that they ignore each other and the child.
Anyway it kind of upset me that the was being ignored his parents, I had kids and wouldn't dream of doing this.
I even wanted to go over, pull up the chair and talk to the little guy.
Bad parenting example or what ?
Click to expand...
You HAD kids? That sounds disturbingly as though you no longer have kids. Are they ok?
 
Bill Walker said:
So.... (Annoying eh :))

Went to Ikea yesterday and we ended up in the cafeteria for a coffee and piece of cake.
Anyway this couple aged probably late thirties sat down at the next table with a little 5 year old boy.
They had three meals and drinks.
We were all sat there approximately 45 minutes and during that time Mum and Dad continuously had their faces is in their phones. Completely absorbed in some shit.
.
The little boy just sat there eating and having a swig of his orange juice, just staring into space.
I just thought what the fuck is wrong with people these days that they can't put their phone down and Converse ....enjoy a meal with their little boy, what this is friggin important on the phones so that they ignore each other and the child.
Anyway it kind of upset me that the was being ignored his parents, I had kids and wouldn't dream of doing this.
I even wanted to go over, pull up the chair and talk to the little guy.
Bad parenting example or what ?
Click to expand...

I remember the good old days when my parents used to bury their heads in the newspaper and ignore me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Unread Posts

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top