Put Down Lines

Out on the piss a mates girlfriend comes running up to him and tells him that some older bloke didn't believe her age and she looked really young. My pal turned around and said " You've got it wrong love, I heard him. He said you smell like egg foo yung. Pissed myself at the time.
 
Mate was having an argument with some nobhead, when the guy started going all "No comeback?" and all that. My mate turned round to him and said "If I wanted my comeback I'd wipe it off your bird's chin."
 
Legend has it that during a heated Parliamentary debate Dennis Skinner called Colin Moihihan an "aggorgant little shit", to which the speaker reportedly said, will the honorable member for Bolsover please remove that word from his statement.

To which Skinner responded "which one mr speaker arrogant, little or shit, because he is all three".

The sergeant at arms was called to remove him (Skinner) from the chamber.
 
XxRachXx said:
really needed cheering up this has helped :)
Click to expand...

-Blind Heckler: "Get off the fucking stage you Brummie Bastard!!!.................. Has he gone yet?"
-Frank Skinner: "You're only giving me stick because I'm Pakistani."
 
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