Rooney (MERGED)

mancity dan said:
I don't claim to be an ITK (to set that straight)

A rag fan at work who is friends with Oliver Barnes (Ken Barnes's grandsson) has told me that Rooney to us is a done deal. Don't know figures and such like.
Click to expand...
That completely matches up with what i've witnessed today!!! Mental. I wasn't going to post for lack of credibility, but flip it, you don't seem to care...

I was in HMV in town doing a spot of shopping on my lunch break. I look up and see what appears to be Wayne Rooney playing Fifa on the Xbox. I can't quite believe my eyes. He seemed to be in his own little world.

So i stand behind him, mostly in amazement. I look at the TV. He's playing as United. My heart sinks. He hears it. He looks round. Luckily, i have a copy of Road Trip - Beer Pong on Blu Ray in my hand. I lift it up just in time to cover my face. He sounds confused. He turns back around and continues with Fifa.

I watch on. He's playing against City. "The flipping w@nk£r!" i mutter. He turns back around. I lift up Beer Pong. He can't see me.

I lower Beer Pong and peer on. He's fucking losing 13-0. I chuckle. This time it's only a mind chuckle. He can't hear me. I specifically remember thinking to myself - 'Rooney is fucking shit at Fifa'.

I was about to walk off. Then it dawned on me. How can he be so shit? He's on the fucking cover! I've seen him play it on the adverts. I looked up at the screen. I watch on as Rooney takes the ball off an idle Adebayor. I wasn't suspiscious. But then i noticed....

NONE OF THE OTHER PLAYERS WERE MOVING!!!

'He's got it on two player!' I yelp out. He turns round. I lift up Beer Pong. He can't see me. He resumes. He's only controlling himself!!! I watch on. He runs back towards his own net. Dribbles round Ferdinand, knocks over Gary Neville and then heads towards Van Der Saar. He mumbles something in Scouser before twatting the ball into the back of his own net!

14-0! 13 Wayne Rooney own goals (1 Wes Brown O.G). He looks very pleased with himself. I smile. I know he's coming. I put back Beer Pong and head to the City shop in the Arndale.

'Fuck it' i think. I'm off to get 'Rooney 10' on the back of the away shirt. I get to the shop and luckily they have 1 large left. I grab it. I look up....and here's where it gets crazy! Sit down....

VAGNER LOVE is there trying on training tops!! ZOMG!!! At this point i was literally speechless. I've been shaking since lunchtime. I've got a big bag of skittles in my drawer but i daredn't touch them. They'll go everywhere.

mancity Dan, our info adds up mate. It's nailed on in my honest opinion. Was the name Vagner Love mentioned in the smokers cabin? This is an insane day!!!

Thank you for posting your info. I wasn't going to post mine until i read yours!!! If you get anymore snippets, don't hesitate to post them mate.

When's your next cig break?
 
ono said:
mancity dan said:
I don't claim to be an ITK (to set that straight)

A rag fan at work who is friends with Oliver Barnes (Ken Barnes's grandsson) has told me that Rooney to us is a done deal. Don't know figures and such like.
Click to expand...
That completely matches up with what i've witnessed today!!! Mental. I wasn't going to post for lack of credibility, but flip it, you don't seem to care...

I was in HMV in town doing a spot of shopping on my lunch break. I look up and see what appears to be Wayne Rooney playing Fifa on the Xbox. I can't quite believe my eyes. He seemed to be in his own little world.

So i stand behind him, mostly in amazement. I look at the TV. He's playing as United. My heart sinks. He hears it. He looks round. Luckily, i have a copy of Road Trip - Beer Pong on Blu Ray in my hand. I lift it up just in time to cover my face. He sounds confused. He turns back around and continues with Fifa.

I watch on. He's playing against City. "The flipping w@nk£r!" i mutter. He turns back around. I lift up Beer Pong. He can't see me.

I lower Beer Pong and peer on. He's fucking losing 13-0. I chuckle. This time it's only a mind chuckle. He can't hear me. I specifically remember thinking to myself - 'Rooney is fucking shit at Fifa'.

I was about to walk off. Then it dawned on me. How can he be so shit? He's on the fucking cover! I've seen him play it on the adverts. I looked up at the screen. I watch on as Rooney takes the ball off an idle Adebayor. I wasn't suspiscious. But then i noticed....

NONE OF THE OTHER PLAYERS WERE MOVING!!!

'He's got it on two player!' I yelp out. He turns round. I lift up Beer Pong. He can't see me. He resumes. He's only controlling himself!!! I watch on. He runs back towards his own net. Dribbles round Ferdinand, knocks over Gary Neville and then heads towards Van Der Saar. He mumbles something in Scouser before twatting the ball into the back of his own net!

14-0! 13 Wayne Rooney own goals (1 Wes Brown O.G). He looks very pleased with himself. I smile. I know he's coming. I put back Beer Pong and head to the City shop in the Arndale.

'Fuck it' i think. I'm off to get 'Rooney 10' on the back of the away shirt. I get to the shop and luckily they have 1 large left. I grab it. I look up....and here's where it gets crazy! Sit down....

VAGNER LOVE is there trying on training tops!! ZOMG!!! At this point i was literally speechless. I've been shaking since lunchtime. I've got a big bag of skittles in my drawer but i daredn't touch them. They'll go everywhere.

mancity Dan, our info adds up mate. It's nailed on in my honest opinion. Was the name Vagner Love mentioned in the smokers cabin? This is an insane day!!!

Thank you for posting your info. I wasn't going to post mine until i read yours!!! If you get anymore snippets, don't hesitate to post them mate.

When's your next cig break?
Click to expand...

That, my rag baiting friend in arms, is the greatest post I have ever read.

Now please never, and I repeat in the firmest of firm sincerity, never try to better that ever as you will only fail.
 
ono said:
mancity dan said:
I don't claim to be an ITK (to set that straight)

A rag fan at work who is friends with Oliver Barnes (Ken Barnes's grandsson) has told me that Rooney to us is a done deal. Don't know figures and such like.
Click to expand...
That completely matches up with what i've witnessed today!!! Mental. I wasn't going to post for lack of credibility, but flip it, you don't seem to care...

I was in HMV in town doing a spot of shopping on my lunch break. I look up and see what appears to be Wayne Rooney playing Fifa on the Xbox. I can't quite believe my eyes. He seemed to be in his own little world.

So i stand behind him, mostly in amazement. I look at the TV. He's playing as United. My heart sinks. He hears it. He looks round. Luckily, i have a copy of Road Trip - Beer Pong on Blu Ray in my hand. I lift it up just in time to cover my face. He sounds confused. He turns back around and continues with Fifa.

I watch on. He's playing against City. "The flipping w@nk£r!" i mutter. He turns back around. I lift up Beer Pong. He can't see me.

I lower Beer Pong and peer on. He's fucking losing 13-0. I chuckle. This time it's only a mind chuckle. He can't hear me. I specifically remember thinking to myself - 'Rooney is fucking shit at Fifa'.

I was about to walk off. Then it dawned on me. How can he be so shit? He's on the fucking cover! I've seen him play it on the adverts. I looked up at the screen. I watch on as Rooney takes the ball off an idle Adebayor. I wasn't suspiscious. But then i noticed....

NONE OF THE OTHER PLAYERS WERE MOVING!!!

'He's got it on two player!' I yelp out. He turns round. I lift up Beer Pong. He can't see me. He resumes. He's only controlling himself!!! I watch on. He runs back towards his own net. Dribbles round Ferdinand, knocks over Gary Neville and then heads towards Van Der Saar. He mumbles something in Scouser before twatting the ball into the back of his own net!

14-0! 13 Wayne Rooney own goals (1 Wes Brown O.G). He looks very pleased with himself. I smile. I know he's coming. I put back Beer Pong and head to the City shop in the Arndale.

'Fuck it' i think. I'm off to get 'Rooney 10' on the back of the away shirt. I get to the shop and luckily they have 1 large left. I grab it. I look up....and here's where it gets crazy! Sit down....

VAGNER LOVE is there trying on training tops!! ZOMG!!! At this point i was literally speechless. I've been shaking since lunchtime. I've got a big bag of skittles in my drawer but i daredn't touch them. They'll go everywhere.

mancity Dan, our info adds up mate. It's nailed on in my honest opinion. Was the name Vagner Love mentioned in the smokers cabin? This is an insane day!!!

Thank you for posting your info. I wasn't going to post mine until i read yours!!! If you get anymore snippets, don't hesitate to post them mate.

When's your next cig break?
Click to expand...

WTF!...............
 
ono said:
mancity dan said:
I don't claim to be an ITK (to set that straight)

A rag fan at work who is friends with Oliver Barnes (Ken Barnes's grandsson) has told me that Rooney to us is a done deal. Don't know figures and such like.
Click to expand...
That completely matches up with what i've witnessed today!!! Mental. I wasn't going to post for lack of credibility, but flip it, you don't seem to care...

I was in HMV in town doing a spot of shopping on my lunch break. I look up and see what appears to be Wayne Rooney playing Fifa on the Xbox. I can't quite believe my eyes. He seemed to be in his own little world.

So i stand behind him, mostly in amazement. I look at the TV. He's playing as United. My heart sinks. He hears it. He looks round. Luckily, i have a copy of Road Trip - Beer Pong on Blu Ray in my hand. I lift it up just in time to cover my face. He sounds confused. He turns back around and continues with Fifa.

I watch on. He's playing against City. "The flipping w@nk£r!" i mutter. He turns back around. I lift up Beer Pong. He can't see me.

I lower Beer Pong and peer on. He's fucking losing 13-0. I chuckle. This time it's only a mind chuckle. He can't hear me. I specifically remember thinking to myself - 'Rooney is fucking shit at Fifa'.

I was about to walk off. Then it dawned on me. How can he be so shit? He's on the fucking cover! I've seen him play it on the adverts. I looked up at the screen. I watch on as Rooney takes the ball off an idle Adebayor. I wasn't suspiscious. But then i noticed....

NONE OF THE OTHER PLAYERS WERE MOVING!!!

'He's got it on two player!' I yelp out. He turns round. I lift up Beer Pong. He can't see me. He resumes. He's only controlling himself!!! I watch on. He runs back towards his own net. Dribbles round Ferdinand, knocks over Gary Neville and then heads towards Van Der Saar. He mumbles something in Scouser before twatting the ball into the back of his own net!

14-0! 13 Wayne Rooney own goals (1 Wes Brown O.G). He looks very pleased with himself. I smile. I know he's coming. I put back Beer Pong and head to the City shop in the Arndale.

'Fuck it' i think. I'm off to get 'Rooney 10' on the back of the away shirt. I get to the shop and luckily they have 1 large left. I grab it. I look up....and here's where it gets crazy! Sit down....

VAGNER LOVE is there trying on training tops!! ZOMG!!! At this point i was literally speechless. I've been shaking since lunchtime. I've got a big bag of skittles in my drawer but i daredn't touch them. They'll go everywhere.

mancity Dan, our info adds up mate. It's nailed on in my honest opinion. Was the name Vagner Love mentioned in the smokers cabin? This is an insane day!!!

Thank you for posting your info. I wasn't going to post mine until i read yours!!! If you get anymore snippets, don't hesitate to post them mate.

When's your next cig break?
Click to expand...

Absolute quality. I've just been laughing that much my boss wandered over to see what it was I was laughing at so I might be in the shit for pretending to be fixing a laptop when all I'm doing is reading Bluemoon on it & pissing my sides at Ono's post! ;-)
 
Manc said:
ono said:
That completely matches up with what i've witnessed today!!! Mental. I wasn't going to post for lack of credibility, but flip it, you don't seem to care...

I was in HMV in town doing a spot of shopping on my lunch break. I look up and see what appears to be Wayne Rooney playing Fifa on the Xbox. I can't quite believe my eyes. He seemed to be in his own little world.

So i stand behind him, mostly in amazement. I look at the TV. He's playing as United. My heart sinks. He hears it. He looks round. Luckily, i have a copy of Road Trip - Beer Pong on Blu Ray in my hand. I lift it up just in time to cover my face. He sounds confused. He turns back around and continues with Fifa.

I watch on. He's playing against City. "The flipping w@nk£r!" i mutter. He turns back around. I lift up Beer Pong. He can't see me.

I lower Beer Pong and peer on. He's fucking losing 13-0. I chuckle. This time it's only a mind chuckle. He can't hear me. I specifically remember thinking to myself - 'Rooney is fucking shit at Fifa'.

I was about to walk off. Then it dawned on me. How can he be so shit? He's on the fucking cover! I've seen him play it on the adverts. I looked up at the screen. I watch on as Rooney takes the ball off an idle Adebayor. I wasn't suspiscious. But then i noticed....

NONE OF THE OTHER PLAYERS WERE MOVING!!!

'He's got it on two player!' I yelp out. He turns round. I lift up Beer Pong. He can't see me. He resumes. He's only controlling himself!!! I watch on. He runs back towards his own net. Dribbles round Ferdinand, knocks over Gary Neville and then heads towards Van Der Saar. He mumbles something in Scouser before twatting the ball into the back of his own net!

14-0! 13 Wayne Rooney own goals (1 Wes Brown O.G). He looks very pleased with himself. I smile. I know he's coming. I put back Beer Pong and head to the City shop in the Arndale.

'Fuck it' i think. I'm off to get 'Rooney 10' on the back of the away shirt. I get to the shop and luckily they have 1 large left. I grab it. I look up....and here's where it gets crazy! Sit down....

VAGNER LOVE is there trying on training tops!! ZOMG!!! At this point i was literally speechless. I've been shaking since lunchtime. I've got a big bag of skittles in my drawer but i daredn't touch them. They'll go everywhere.

mancity Dan, our info adds up mate. It's nailed on in my honest opinion. Was the name Vagner Love mentioned in the smokers cabin? This is an insane day!!!

Thank you for posting your info. I wasn't going to post mine until i read yours!!! If you get anymore snippets, don't hesitate to post them mate.

When's your next cig break?
Click to expand...

Absolute quality. I've just been laughing that much my boss wandered over to see what it was I was laughing at so I might be in the shit for pretending to be fixing a laptop when all I'm doing is reading Bluemoon on it & pissing my sides at Ono's post! ;-)
Click to expand...

Thanks Ono ;o)
 
ono said:
mancity dan said:
I don't claim to be an ITK (to set that straight)

A rag fan at work who is friends with Oliver Barnes (Ken Barnes's grandsson) has told me that Rooney to us is a done deal. Don't know figures and such like.
Click to expand...
That completely matches up with what i've witnessed today!!! Mental. I wasn't going to post for lack of credibility, but flip it, you don't seem to care...

I was in HMV in town doing a spot of shopping on my lunch break. I look up and see what appears to be Wayne Rooney playing Fifa on the Xbox. I can't quite believe my eyes. He seemed to be in his own little world.

So i stand behind him, mostly in amazement. I look at the TV. He's playing as United. My heart sinks. He hears it. He looks round. Luckily, i have a copy of Road Trip - Beer Pong on Blu Ray in my hand. I lift it up just in time to cover my face. He sounds confused. He turns back around and continues with Fifa.

I watch on. He's playing against City. "The flipping w@nk£r!" i mutter. He turns back around. I lift up Beer Pong. He can't see me.

I lower Beer Pong and peer on. He's fucking losing 13-0. I chuckle. This time it's only a mind chuckle. He can't hear me. I specifically remember thinking to myself - 'Rooney is fucking shit at Fifa'.

I was about to walk off. Then it dawned on me. How can he be so shit? He's on the fucking cover! I've seen him play it on the adverts. I looked up at the screen. I watch on as Rooney takes the ball off an idle Adebayor. I wasn't suspiscious. But then i noticed....

NONE OF THE OTHER PLAYERS WERE MOVING!!!

'He's got it on two player!' I yelp out. He turns round. I lift up Beer Pong. He can't see me. He resumes. He's only controlling himself!!! I watch on. He runs back towards his own net. Dribbles round Ferdinand, knocks over Gary Neville and then heads towards Van Der Saar. He mumbles something in Scouser before twatting the ball into the back of his own net!

14-0! 13 Wayne Rooney own goals (1 Wes Brown O.G). He looks very pleased with himself. I smile. I know he's coming. I put back Beer Pong and head to the City shop in the Arndale.

'Fuck it' i think. I'm off to get 'Rooney 10' on the back of the away shirt. I get to the shop and luckily they have 1 large left. I grab it. I look up....and here's where it gets crazy! Sit down....

VAGNER LOVE is there trying on training tops!! ZOMG!!! At this point i was literally speechless. I've been shaking since lunchtime. I've got a big bag of skittles in my drawer but i daredn't touch them. They'll go everywhere.

mancity Dan, our info adds up mate. It's nailed on in my honest opinion. Was the name Vagner Love mentioned in the smokers cabin? This is an insane day!!!

Thank you for posting your info. I wasn't going to post mine until i read yours!!! If you get anymore snippets, don't hesitate to post them mate.

When's your next cig break?
Click to expand...

In the words of Andy Gray, take a buu sun.
 
fbloke said:
ono said:
That completely matches up with what i've witnessed today!!! Mental. I wasn't going to post for lack of credibility, but flip it, you don't seem to care...

I was in HMV in town doing a spot of shopping on my lunch break. I look up and see what appears to be Wayne Rooney playing Fifa on the Xbox. I can't quite believe my eyes. He seemed to be in his own little world.

So i stand behind him, mostly in amazement. I look at the TV. He's playing as United. My heart sinks. He hears it. He looks round. Luckily, i have a copy of Road Trip - Beer Pong on Blu Ray in my hand. I lift it up just in time to cover my face. He sounds confused. He turns back around and continues with Fifa.

I watch on. He's playing against City. "The flipping w@nk£r!" i mutter. He turns back around. I lift up Beer Pong. He can't see me.

I lower Beer Pong and peer on. He's fucking losing 13-0. I chuckle. This time it's only a mind chuckle. He can't hear me. I specifically remember thinking to myself - 'Rooney is fucking shit at Fifa'.

I was about to walk off. Then it dawned on me. How can he be so shit? He's on the fucking cover! I've seen him play it on the adverts. I looked up at the screen. I watch on as Rooney takes the ball off an idle Adebayor. I wasn't suspiscious. But then i noticed....

NONE OF THE OTHER PLAYERS WERE MOVING!!!

'He's got it on two player!' I yelp out. He turns round. I lift up Beer Pong. He can't see me. He resumes. He's only controlling himself!!! I watch on. He runs back towards his own net. Dribbles round Ferdinand, knocks over Gary Neville and then heads towards Van Der Saar. He mumbles something in Scouser before twatting the ball into the back of his own net!

14-0! 13 Wayne Rooney own goals (1 Wes Brown O.G). He looks very pleased with himself. I smile. I know he's coming. I put back Beer Pong and head to the City shop in the Arndale.

'Fuck it' i think. I'm off to get 'Rooney 10' on the back of the away shirt. I get to the shop and luckily they have 1 large left. I grab it. I look up....and here's where it gets crazy! Sit down....

VAGNER LOVE is there trying on training tops!! ZOMG!!! At this point i was literally speechless. I've been shaking since lunchtime. I've got a big bag of skittles in my drawer but i daredn't touch them. They'll go everywhere.

mancity Dan, our info adds up mate. It's nailed on in my honest opinion. Was the name Vagner Love mentioned in the smokers cabin? This is an insane day!!!

Thank you for posting your info. I wasn't going to post mine until i read yours!!! If you get anymore snippets, don't hesitate to post them mate.

When's your next cig break?
Click to expand...

That, my rag baiting friend in arms, is the greatest post I have ever read.

Now please never, and I repeat in the firmest of firm sincerity, never try to better that ever as you will only fail.
Click to expand...


Is this a wind up then?
 
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