I bumped into Dave in the wines & spirits section of Waitrose a couple of years ago, and said to him "You do know, don't you, Dave, that Old Snotbag is going to retire soon, and there'll be a well-paid vacancy at Old Trafford. You look to me like the man for the job. Have you thought about it?"
He looked me up and down shrewdly and came back with a devastating but witty riposte: "F*** off and mind your own business, ye interfering Sassenach bag o' shite..."
I'd forgotten I was still wearing my remaindered City hat, but his bleary eyes had lit up with a gleam which revealed that he was thinking it was about time to draw up his CV with a view to following up my suggestion.
I thanked him for his time and trouble in granting me an audience, and recommended to him the smoky single malt Laphraoig, which had a pound off until midnight. He suggested an unusual place to insert the bottle of golden liquid.
I therefore take all the credit for his move to Stretford, and apologise unreservedly to him if he has found the grass to be not that green on the other side of the fence.
Sorry, Dave.
