sir baconface
Well-Known Member
Advance to "Go"
[And do not slip on your way.]
Go back to Old Kent Road
[There’s a house you didn’t burgle.]
Go to jail. Move directly to jail. Do not pass "Go". Do not collect £200
[Haha. Your probation officer grassed you up.]
Pay hospital £100
[For a week’s parking on double yellows outside A & E]
Doctor's fee. Pay £50.
[Cheap rate for the bird’s dodgy tit job.]
Pay your insurance premium £50”
[Fcuk all considering you claimed £2500 for gear you never had.]
Bank error in your favour. Collect £200
[Some error. Your overdraft’s bigger than yer mam’s arse.]
Annuity matures. Collect £100.
[WTF’s an annuity? Never mind; collect it anyway.]
You inherit £100
[When I say “inherit”, I mean “steal”.]
From sale of stock you get £50
[Proceeds on a crate of knock-off Oxo cubes.]
Income tax refund. Collect £20?
[Income tax? Fcukin postie got the wrong address again.]
You have won second prize in a beauty contest. Collect £10.
[Bwahahaha! Ever seen a good looking dipper? April Fool!]
It is your birthday. Collect £10 from each player.
[...at knife point if necessary.]
Get out of jail free. This card may be kept until needed or sold.
[Beats hiring a drone.]
Pay a £10 fine or take a "Chance"
[Take a “Chance”. This could be your year. ]
[And do not slip on your way.]
Go back to Old Kent Road
[There’s a house you didn’t burgle.]
Go to jail. Move directly to jail. Do not pass "Go". Do not collect £200
[Haha. Your probation officer grassed you up.]
Pay hospital £100
[For a week’s parking on double yellows outside A & E]
Doctor's fee. Pay £50.
[Cheap rate for the bird’s dodgy tit job.]
Pay your insurance premium £50”
[Fcuk all considering you claimed £2500 for gear you never had.]
Bank error in your favour. Collect £200
[Some error. Your overdraft’s bigger than yer mam’s arse.]
Annuity matures. Collect £100.
[WTF’s an annuity? Never mind; collect it anyway.]
You inherit £100
[When I say “inherit”, I mean “steal”.]
From sale of stock you get £50
[Proceeds on a crate of knock-off Oxo cubes.]
Income tax refund. Collect £20?
[Income tax? Fcukin postie got the wrong address again.]
You have won second prize in a beauty contest. Collect £10.
[Bwahahaha! Ever seen a good looking dipper? April Fool!]
It is your birthday. Collect £10 from each player.
[...at knife point if necessary.]
Get out of jail free. This card may be kept until needed or sold.
[Beats hiring a drone.]
Pay a £10 fine or take a "Chance"
[Take a “Chance”. This could be your year. ]