dronefromsector7G
Well-Known Member
Really? That's nice.
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Should I be concerned....
- Thread starter Dr Jacoby
- Start date
I not sure it the subject matter as some have said but simply the people you around. I can talk with a lot of people about a range of things. Then with other people as soon as they turn up I am off or more switch off. I have found my eyes literally glaze over. I know some of these people have noticed but I don't care. To me it's their fault for having no personality.
Sounds like the op, by their own admission has only just started venturing out. Do that more and they will surely meet people they can relate to.
Sounds like the op, by their own admission has only just started venturing out. Do that more and they will surely meet people they can relate to.
Why Always Ste
Well-Known Member
Never met such a bunch of weirdo's in my entire life, all accumulated into one room.Come to a blue moon meet up and we will tell you?
And that was just in the Pool room playing against Bill and a coked up computer hacker.
Newman Noggs
Well-Known Member
Definition of a bore is "someone who talks about themselves when you want to talk about yourself".
The fact is that many people are interesting it's just that you've got to go through that "small talk" phase when you meet someone new which most blokes can't be arsed with.
Women are good at it which is why they're easy to chat up. Just ask them about themselves and off they go. Think about football or nookie or something while they rabbit on, throwing out the odd, "well done", "that's interesting" or "what a terrible fellow whatever did you see in him", as the occasion demands, and they'll tell you what a great listener you are. Easy for someone who doesn't talk or listen much.
The fact is that many people are interesting it's just that you've got to go through that "small talk" phase when you meet someone new which most blokes can't be arsed with.
Women are good at it which is why they're easy to chat up. Just ask them about themselves and off they go. Think about football or nookie or something while they rabbit on, throwing out the odd, "well done", "that's interesting" or "what a terrible fellow whatever did you see in him", as the occasion demands, and they'll tell you what a great listener you are. Easy for someone who doesn't talk or listen much.
Why Always Ste
Well-Known Member
Shhhh!!Definition of a bore is "someone who talks about themselves when you want to talk about yourself".
The fact is that many people are interesting it's just that you've got to go through that "small talk" phase when you meet someone new which most blokes can't be arsed with.
Women are good at it which is why they're easy to chat up. Just ask them about themselves and off they go. Think about football or nookie or something while they rabbit on, throwing out the odd, "well done", "that's interesting" or "what a terrible fellow whatever did you see in him", as the occasion demands, and they'll tell you what a great listener you are. Easy for someone who doesn't talk or listen much.
Giving the game away
You seem an honest type with an excellent vocabulary, are you a literature fan by any chance? I reckon the idea would be to find people of a similar set of interests to you, maybe look for a lady to date with a love of all things City and a bit of a book worm?.. that it's extremely difficult for me to be interested in other people?
After making the realisation that I needed to make some big changes to how I viewed other people, I am now getting out of my comfort zone - my mother's house - for prolonged periods each day. However, I feel almost like I have to 'perform' and 'act' to battle through social situations. People's faces seem to light up when I invite them to talk about themselves but deep down I truly don't give a shit. Does this make me a bad person?
Even though I want to make friends, I cannot fathom how others can find each other so interesting. I fear I will never hold down a job for any substantial amount of time because of my social ineptness
Here's the honest part too, bar the odd very charismatic character, most people will grate on you or bore you after a while, and it’s why we drink. Well, it’s why men drink anyway, women like my mother and my wife who I both love dearly, can literally just talk shite all day, the older I get the harder I find dealing with it and need a few jars sometimes of an evening.
Pedestrian
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 15 Oct 2014
- Messages
- 1,977
I'm an advanced nurse practitioner in a walk in centre. I treat about 20-25 people in a 12hr shift. I can form a quick bond with them and obviously this requires listening and asking leading questions about them. I think I'm pretty good at it.
That's where my interest in other people ends. Can't really be bothered with most folk (wife and daughter excluded). There's times when I'm out and about and former patients will approach me for a chat and I honestly have no clue who they are. They still crack on like I go home at night worrying about there sore throat or ear.
It annoys my wife that I'm so solitary but I justify it by saying 'I spend all my time at work building fake relationships with the best intentions and in my own time I'm happy with me'
As long as you are happy with yourself then I don't think you need worry.
My favourite times are with my wife and daughter and I wouldnt be bothered if that's how it always is.
I'm 41.
That's where my interest in other people ends. Can't really be bothered with most folk (wife and daughter excluded). There's times when I'm out and about and former patients will approach me for a chat and I honestly have no clue who they are. They still crack on like I go home at night worrying about there sore throat or ear.
It annoys my wife that I'm so solitary but I justify it by saying 'I spend all my time at work building fake relationships with the best intentions and in my own time I'm happy with me'
As long as you are happy with yourself then I don't think you need worry.
My favourite times are with my wife and daughter and I wouldnt be bothered if that's how it always is.
I'm 41.
Nebuchadnezzar
Well-Known Member
As others have said, finding people with similar interests would be a big help. Aside from that, the actual sentiment of not being interested in most other people's shite is not that unusual. I do make concessions for family and mates, as i'm sure they do for me (i'm certainly no beacon of interest and wonder), but I have a particular intolerance for the ins and outs and musings of work colleagues. It is probably because it feels forced and knowing that if I wasn't working with them, I would probably not be talking to them at all.
Same thing with Facebook etc. Can't go on there without having unnecessary shite hoisted in your face. At least with Bluemoon i'm here by choice.
Same thing with Facebook etc. Can't go on there without having unnecessary shite hoisted in your face. At least with Bluemoon i'm here by choice.
Not read past this post mate but it's clear your an oddball, but get this. We all are.I have stated before that I was formally diagnosed with autism two years ago.
Whilst I don't want to be a misanthropist or a creepy loner my entire life, it is incredibly difficult for me to understand people's actions, motives and emotions. Furthermore, being around other people is extremely enervating for me. My sensory irregularities (I am sensitive to sound) deeply affects my concentration span, especially in situations where I am expected to engage with those around me.
If it means I have to be disingenuous to be accepted and appreciated by others, I am not sure I want anything out of life anymore. It seems almost like the more inauthentic and insincere you are in this world, the more 'rewards' you reap.
Your autism must make it doubly difficult to negotiate this asylum we call society. In my opinion, don't be disingenuous about who you are. But get out more and casually meet people, there are a lot of oddballs out there who are willing to take people for what they are. If you felt up to it, as someone suggested previously. Get yourself to one of the Bluemoon meet Up's. I've never been to one yet, but wouldn't mind meeting you and others. You come across as intelligent and articulate as well as interesting. Anyway feel free to PM me anytime.
You seem an honest type with an excellent vocabulary, are you a literature fan by any chance? I reckon the idea would be to find people of a similar set of interests to you, maybe look for a lady to date with a love of all things City and a bit of a book worm?
Here's the honest part too, bar the odd very charismatic character, most people will grate on you or bore you after a while, and it’s why we drink. Well, it’s why men drink anyway, women like my mother and my wife who I both love dearly, can literally just talk shite all day, the older I get the harder I find dealing with it and need a few jars sometimes of an evening.
Even though I am an honest guy, I cannot profess to be a bookworm as my reading comprehension has always been dreadful, which again might be attributable to autism and suspected ADHD.
Whilst I can fully understand why people do enjoy drinking, I myself have always struggled in such tumultuous environments. It's kind of disheartening that I cannot mingle with others because of my sensory abnormalities. I am often perceived as distant, slow and aloof because of my averseness to interacting with others.
Hopefully I will find something in Amsterdam that can calm my nervous system down somewhat....