Spiritulists........yay or nay?

[DiscoSteve]

All bollocks. Sorry for your loss but you would be conned if you went.

 

[ElanJo]

They knew. Put it this way, if the roles were reversed and you were the one who died and they worried whether you knew what you meant to them what would you say to them? Probably "don't be silly, I knew"

If that isn't comforting to you, personally, I wouldn't go to a 'Spiritualist'. I'd go to friend and/or relative and talk to them about how you feel. You'll probably find more comfort with them and you'll likely get to say to them (spoken or unspoken) what you wished you had said to those that are no longer with you. Plus, you won't have to pay them!

Sorry for your loss.

 

[SkyBlueFlux]

I'm sorry to hear about your predicament mate but I don't think this is the way to deal with it. You might think it is giving you closure but it is in fact doing the opposite and could stop you from moving on properly and healthily. You don't need a complete stranger to tell you things for you to gain closure, the only way you can get that is through time, and time alone.

As for 'psychic mediums' in general, they are 100% bollocks. Every last one of them. I don't doubt that some of them feel they have good intentions or even that some are deluded enough to believe they have some kind of power. That doesn't make what they say true though. A lot of them sound impressive but are just a combination of psychologists and magicians.

The James Randi Educational Foundation has offered a cash prize to anybody who can prove to them, in scientific and independently/objectively monitored conditions agreed on by both parties, that they are psychic or have paranormal powers. The prize has been going since 1996 and now stands at $1,000,000. Not one person has ever won it and they've had no shortage of applicants, even Sally Morgan the famous TV psychic said she would do it, but then never stepped up to the mark.

Funny eh? Where are all these supposed 'psychic' people?

 

[stony]

During the last few months, I've lost two very close people to me. One was a relative and the other a good friend. Sadly, and wrongly on my behalf, I never got the chance to tell them how much they meant to me, as they were both taken suddenly. I'm considering seeing a spiritualist to hopefully get 'in touch' with them, so I can say the things that got left unsaid. Maybe part of me wants some kind of proof that the end is not the end, and their happy in whatever place they are, part of me wants to say 'thank you for everything', and a little bit of me, thinks I'm being a dickhead. Has anyone used a spiritualist and found it a help or should I let them rest in peace and treasure the memories? Thanks.

My stepdad died when I was 16 and my mum starting going to the spiritualist church. She got a great deal of comfort from it but as far I'm concerned it was all bollocks. She was still a regular attendee right up until she died. She even played the organ for them at the services, it's not all sitting in a circle and talking to imaginary ghosts. They do actually have services and sing hymns and shit.
I even had one of their ministers conduct her funeral because that's what she wanted. Even though her own brother and his family refused to attend because of their own religious beliefs.

Although it was undoubtedly a great comfort to her at a difficult time and continued to be up until her death, it's always left a slightly bitter taste in my mouth.
I never knew my biological father and even though I classed my stepdad as my real dad, there was always the need to meet the sperm donor, just out of curiosity if nothing else.
My beef with the shysters posing as mediums is that they told her he was dead and she was convinced of the fact. She'd thought he was dead years before when he suddenly stopped paying child support after never missing a week in 12 years, and having a medium tell her too, just convinced her more. I took her at her word and put it out of my mind.
Ten years after she died I was looking at the genes reunited website and was stunned and more than a little gutted to find out he'd only recently died.
I've never blamed my mum for that but it hurt for a long time that I wasted all those years when I could have confronted him and asked him the questions that no doubt many bastards grow up wanting to know.

 

[Danielmanc]

During the last few months, I've lost two very close people to me. One was a relative and the other a good friend. Sadly, and wrongly on my behalf, I never got the chance to tell them how much they meant to me, as they were both taken suddenly. I'm considering seeing a spiritualist to hopefully get 'in touch' with them, so I can say the things that got left unsaid. Maybe part of me wants some kind of proof that the end is not the end, and their happy in whatever place they are, part of me wants to say 'thank you for everything', and a little bit of me, thinks I'm being a dickhead. Has anyone used a spiritualist and found it a help or should I let them rest in peace and treasure the memories? Thanks.

dont waste your time mate its bollocks.

if you were close to them they'll know how you feel.

This, for sure. It may be comfort but it is false comfort. As De Niro says, they will know.

If we care about people, always best to say it ! If anyone is interested in this you could do worse than read "For One More Day" by Mitch Albom.

For any loved ones who have died, if you had them back for one more day, what would you say to them ? For any loved ones who are living, say it now, while you can.

 

[steve4666]

Sincere thanks to everyone who replied. Still not sure what to do, but I'm sure it'll be the right decision either way. By the way, I always ring my mum everyday for a 'chat' and tell her I love her! Thanks again.

 

[Danielmanc]

Sincere thanks to everyone who replied. Still not sure what to do, but I'm sure it'll be the right decision either way. By the way, I always ring my mum everyday for a 'chat' and tell her I love her! Thanks again.

That's a top policy with your mum Blue

 

[SkyBlueFlux]

During the last few months, I've lost two very close people to me. One was a relative and the other a good friend. Sadly, and wrongly on my behalf, I never got the chance to tell them how much they meant to me, as they were both taken suddenly. I'm considering seeing a spiritualist to hopefully get 'in touch' with them, so I can say the things that got left unsaid. Maybe part of me wants some kind of proof that the end is not the end, and their happy in whatever place they are, part of me wants to say 'thank you for everything', and a little bit of me, thinks I'm being a dickhead. Has anyone used a spiritualist and found it a help or should I let them rest in peace and treasure the memories? Thanks.

My stepdad died when I was 16 and my mum starting going to the spiritualist church. She got a great deal of comfort from it but as far I'm concerned it was all bollocks. She was still a regular attendee right up until she died. She even played the organ for them at the services, it's not all sitting in a circle and talking to imaginary ghosts. They do actually have services and sing hymns and shit.
I even had one of their ministers conduct her funeral because that's what she wanted. Even though her own brother and his family refused to attend because of their own religious beliefs.

Although it was undoubtedly a great comfort to her at a difficult time and continued to be up until her death, it's always left a slightly bitter taste in my mouth.
I never knew my biological father and even though I classed my stepdad as my real dad, there was always the need to meet the sperm donor, just out of curiosity if nothing else.
My beef with the shysters posing as mediums is that they told her he was dead and she was convinced of the fact. She'd thought he was dead years before when he suddenly stopped paying child support after never missing a week in 12 years, and having a medium tell her too, just convinced her more. I took her at her word and put it out of my mind.
Ten years after she died I was looking at the genes reunited website and was stunned and more than a little gutted to find out he'd only recently died.
I've never blamed my mum for that but it hurt for a long time that I wasted all those years when I could have confronted him and asked him the questions that no doubt many bastards grow up wanting to know.

That's unfortunate to hear Stony, but your post is an excellent demonstration of why believing in the power of mediums and some of the fairy tales they spout can be, not only unhelpful, but ultimately destructive.

It's the one thing that irks me about this whole subject to be honest. A lot of vulnerable people feel that they're taking 'comfort' from these psychics. It's a false comfort, based on lies, and it is a fundamentally flawed basis to gain any form of proper closure. It only takes one event to open up the whole thing and show it up to be a lie, and then you're left vulnerable again and possibly worse off than you were before.

 

[CTID1988]

They are scum, preying on the vulnerable for a quick buck.

 

[Ovo]

I've never been to one but if it gives you comfort they why not ? You should do what feels right for you

I'm with girlbob. If it makes you feel better then go for it.