Star Wars - Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

[FogBlueInSanFran]

While this guy has done a lot of these and they're uneven, his one on The Rise of Skywalker is pretty funny . . . "the Power Ranger Poe used to date", LOL.

 

[MillionMilesAway]

While this guy has done a lot of these and they're uneven, his one on The Rise of Skywalker is pretty funny . . . "the Power Ranger Poe used to date", LOL.

I could have written some of that, with rather less panache obviously!

"to extend the running time" - nice.

Zori was weirdly put in - I wonder what Keri Russell thought she was signing up for? Mostly just part of the first hour of what-the-hell-is-going-on.

 

[DazWA9]

Then he removed his helmet and the illusion was destroyed!

Had to laugh at that. Thought so myself, he took his helmet off and it was like Roy from Corrie.

 

[Summerbuzz]

Tried three times to watch it. Never made it much past the bit where Leia is walked off to do in Kylo. Bits of the movie are okay, but so much of it is just so very awful in so many ways. Why did they decide Poe had to be a straight up Han Solo knock-off? The bit where OMG Chewies dead, oh wait he's not, the timing is so shit. It's a literal slap in the face for most viewers - shut up and watch your favourite characters and explosions you morons. There's the whole thing that the emotional arc of this story seems to depend on Daisy Ridley's need for her family... but it's based on what? Some awkward moment where a random alien kid asks her what her family name is? How does that drive an entire story? It's not even enough to drive a sub-plot. Compare that to Luke in ANH, he's at an age where he needs to break away from his Aunt and Uncle, and the relationship is fraught. He goes off, finds that the local legendary Kenobi is actually a friend of his father? Who was a Jedi? They faught in a war together, and now he's been sent a message by droids sent by a princess saying they need him, he's their only hope? Holy shit! But Luke realises his aunt and uncle are now in danger, and rushes back to find they are dead? And Luke goes on to fight the guy who he believes killed his father? That's a story, that's a saga. Starts at the beginning of film one and ends at the end of film three. Drives it constantly. The Daisy Ridley thing is just a joke. She's some random. Her enemy wasn't. But they have to get together... why again? I literally can't remember any of why they got together then fucked it off in number two, and I've seen it twice. But ok so Palpatine's still around and pulling the strings??? How??? Fuck all that. She's his granddaughter? It changes fuck all. Oh so she and Ren are a Force Dyad? Why? There's nothing there at all that is relatable to family relationships, relatable to other stories, relatable to myths and legend. It's just GARBAGE. They had a start and just made it up as they went along, and did a really bad job of it. None of it, beyond Ben and Han, drives anything or hooks the audience or ties the whole thing together. Total amateur hour. Ugh.

 

[Bigga]

Well, the good thing about what has happened to 'SW' is that Kathleen Turner is pretty much done and will be removed from any further involvement. The other good news is the next set of films in the franchise will be based 3,500 years prior to 'SW' as 'The Knights of the Old Republic', which has been called upon for years.

I believe the writing has begun already and it's a chance to give the fans what they've craved for.