Strangest thing that has ever happened to you in a pub

[BlueTG]

To many to list, but anyone been out drinking in Lincolnshire? You'll know what I mean if you have.

Of course, it's mostly my home region, why what is wrong with us ;)

 

[BlueStu]

I fell asleep on the toilet in a bar in Osnabruck, Germany. They didn't check the toilets before they locked up, so I ended up being locked in. Once I found my way out, which took some effort as it was pitch black, all the doors and windows were locked down. So I called the military police, and once they stopped laughing they called the German police. The police shown up, they were at first looking in the bar across the walkway, so I had to bang on the window to get their attention. About 20 minutes later the fire trucks turned up, and they ended up drilling the locks from the doors. I shook all their hands on the way out and bid them a good evening!
No I didn't help myself to any drinks behind the bar, because I thought I was in enough trouble. In the end there were no come backs from it, which was surprising.

 

[Crouchinho]

Me and a few mates were on the lash and we decided to move onto another pub. We ordered the drinks then I realised I left me coat in the previous pub. I quickly walked back over the road to get it which was put behind the bar for me. After waiting less than 2 and walking less than 2 mins two of my mates had their front teeth smashed in, one got a good punch on the head with some bad concussion and the other just watched while drinking his pernod. I'm so glad I left my coat behind.

One pub also I went to started to cheer as I walked in, they somehow thought I was someone else accusing me of being a knicker sniffer. I just went along with it all night until the real one turned up. One gave me a bottle of Becks as an apology, which wasn't really needed as I did used to sniff ladies knickers

 

[Quicksilva21]

My old cricket team used to have a local we went to after games for a debrief, a few quiets and a game of pool or two. Anyway one Saturday we rock up in good spirits after a win. We look over into the punting section of the pub where all the tv's are with the the horses on and there's this chick wearing only body paint and it's completely white.
Before long no one gives a flying fuck about how good they bowled or anything, we're all just flat out perving at this woman's healthy set. She was in great shape.
After a while she rocks over with her mate and says it's her hens night, she's been out at a race met all day in her 'outfit' and she has a list of activities she needs to tick off for the evening. I'm hoping one of them is for a tall skinny guy with a big nose to bury his face in her funbags but no...
We're all sitting round this table with semis on and she says she has to french kiss a bloke under 25. We all look around and immediately suck our guts in and straighten up. There's only one bloke under 25 in the team - Stefan, face like a dropped pie. He's really got his dander up. The rest of us are spinning shit about how we're 24 and our birthdays are next week etc etc... Well most were, I looked so far over 25 I just stared at her tits.
Anyway Stefan can't believe his fucking luck. He gets in there, starts fiddling with her tonsils, grabs a bit of arse while he can to raucous laughter and then she buggers off back to the racing area...
It wasn't warm either....

I enjoyed that story.

Wish I had photos....

 

[Skip Donoghue]

To many to list, but anyone been out drinking in Lincolnshire? You'll know what I mean if you have.

I worked in Lincoln once when I was about 19 first night there me and one of the other lads went for a pint in what looked a nice enough boozer big place I think it was called the Swan, walked in and you could just sense the atmosphere, it was full of blokes who had been in there all day pissed up and you could here this loud cackling throughout the pub a very strange laugh, any way 1st pint and not even took the head off it and the cackler makes a bee line for me, 6ft 5 at least a big bloke he then proceeds to tell me he is the hardest bloke in Lincoln, great I thought 1st pint and a numpty looking for Mither already and he asks if i would like to go outside and take him on, i am thinking fuck me how can i get out of this one,
there was a group of blokes in suits in the corner about 4or 5 of them who caught my eye so I told him that we were with them and one of them was an ex boxer who loved a challenge, anyway his eyes lit up and off he stomped, I turned to the lad I was with and said right lets go, as we left the pub big bollocks was on the floor getting turned over by these fellas he had picked on
On the way back to our digs I asked the taxi driver what it was like as a city as I wasn't impressed he said to me Lincoln is the shit hole of the country he hated it full of numpties looking for aggro, he said house prices were the lowest in the country and that's why he moved there but was now stuck as he couldn't sell his house on
So that was my experience of Lincoln i must say it is very strange place

 

[foxy]

I was in a pub in Westminster with a couple of mates watching a World Cup game in the summer of 2006.
The Home Secretary at the time came in and sat down with a pint and watched the game with us, chatting with us like loner old bloke.

Was that the Red Lion? Was in there on Wednesday

 

[kp789]

bump.

 

[mackenzie]

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Might not be the same person or pub but Barry Pen did have the Waterloo, Waterloo Rd Cheetham Hill for a good few years.

-- Thu May 02, 2013 6:23 pm --

.

Might not be the same person or pub but Barry Pen did have the Waterloo, Waterloo Rd Cheetham Hill for a good few years.

What happened there? I quoted on an asterix when there was a full post 2 seconds earlier.

Sorry, I deleted when I realised I thought he said Waterloo Pub rather than a pub in Waterloo.
But yes, thanks for the confirmation; the Waterloo pub was in my Grans family for years. I think his Father Jacky Penlington had it first. Closed down now isn't it?

 

[MCFC BOB]

One of the girls in there fancied me. I had a girlfriend at the time plus i didnt like her back... Anyway, one night she trys it on. I tell her that ive got a girlfriend etc..so thank you but no thanks. She then goes back to her seat with her mum and burst into tears, her mum comes storming over and without a word spoken bites down on my arm and wouldnt let go.
The barmaid, who was fit, comes over and smacks her round the head with a drip tray a couple of times and them two start kicking off. Within 30 seconds the whole pub is going off and me and my mate jsut sit there drinking our pints

Was she from Uruguay and actually a man?

 

[Benarbia_is_god]

Great thread. My hometown is a coastal tourist haven which attracts all manor of people (Mostly english), couple that with it being surrounded by crazy farmers and a few years ago about 200 pipeline workers stayed here for a year it gets quite interesting!

I was about 13 at the time, some bloke who was renting a holiday home in the village got chatting to my dad, turns out he was a city fan from Urmston, dad thought he was a right snobby prick. His sister was called Allison after Malcolm. His family and the family he was with had left him and he was absolutely bladdered on his own.

Anyway he starts talking to me and asking me about my ambitions, I was 13 so didn't give a monkies at the time. He starts preaching to me about life and suddenly hands me a wad of cash. £100, a hell of a lot to a 13 year old. He told me to invest it in my future, dad told me give it back but I took it and thanked him and went home.

Next morning I wake up and find out he ended up in A and E with a broken jaw after accusing the local mad man that he had stolen £100 off him.