Stupid things your bird has said

[beano46]

Watching snooker with an ex bird years ago when she piped up "they'll never finish this game if that bloke keeps putting the ball balls back"

 

[MCFC BOB]

"You know when you take a pain killer, how does it know which part of your body to go to to stop the pain?"

Cute.

 

[KentBlue]

This is absolutely true. I've got an Irish mate, Tim (yep, he's the stereotypical thick Paddy) and some time ago we were in the pub discussing Bank Holidays and he said: "What date is New Year's Day this year?"
On another occasion he was invited to his nephew's first birthday. The kid's mum (Tim's sister) was sitting there holding the little baby making all the usual cooing noises ("Ooh, who's mummy's little darling boy? Who's having his very first birthday today?") and Tim piped up: "So how old is he then?"

He's a terrific bloke, but he really is brain dead.

 

[BimboBob]

My missus asked me if canals were man made. Watched that 'canal walk' programme the other day and sat grinning at her.

 

[SS117]

Missus: Tevez is leaving City, see I know more football then you.

Me: I knew that like 2 weeks ago.

Missus: You still know nothing about football

Me: (Hand on head) Hahahaha

 

[ono]

I remember my ex was posting a letter, and she's made a twat of folding it, before putting in the envelope, which lead to the envelope falling into the more expensive large letter category. I took it back out the envelope, refolded and said 'It'll be cheaper if you fold it properly'...

She replied...

'Ahh, is it lighter now?'

 

[The Fat el Hombre]

Watching snooker with an ex bird years ago when she piped up "they'll never finish this game if that bloke keeps putting the ball balls back"

Hahaha that's fucking brilliant.

 

[Sunsh111ne]

Apparently I crossed a line last week because I couldn't tell the difference between Jewish & Amish people. I'd never seen the full Jewish get-up to be fair.

Oooh look Amish people - FAIL

 

[Zin 'messiah' Zimmer]

Apparently I crossed a line last week because I couldn't tell the difference between Jewish & Amish people. I'd never seen the full Jewish get-up to be fair.

Oooh look Amish people - FAIL

tell me which is which and i'll put the tea on

 

[Sunsh111ne]

Apparently I crossed a line last week because I couldn't tell the difference between Jewish & Amish people. I'd never seen the full Jewish get-up to be fair.

Oooh look Amish people - FAIL

tell me which is which and i'll put the tea on

This feels like a trick you just like telling me off...anyways the second pic is corrupted but the first one must be Crocodile Amish as the Jewish have curly side-burns as I remember now.

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