Stupid things your bird has said

[Fanzone Danny]

With my mrs it would be easier to start a thread titled 'non stupid things ure bird has said' ;)

 

[smudgedj]

The other day I decided I wanted a boiled egg for breakfast, however the slight problem of not having any egg cups reared it's ugly head; luckily there is a market across the road from where I live, so the girlfriend and I have a walk over and I found a stall with them and I bought a couple. The bird goes 'what are they?'
So I tell her 'egg cups'
'Oh Ok, why are you buying 2?'
'Well one each'
'But we have 12 eggs!

 

[Fame Monster]

"Do you need a passport to get into Scotland?"

 

[BlueInCanada]

Me and ex of mine were arguing about a couple of friends I had that she didnt like. Suddenly she pipes up "Well at least im not homophobic like Paul and Emma"

"WTF are you talking about? His brother is gay"

"No, stupid. They dont like going out of the house"

And I was the stupid one.

Watching the news, my nana once said "I can't believe they've not found that Sinn Fein bloke after all these years".

 

[fast eddie]

It's not my Mrs but one of the Girls at work started cheering on Slovenia in front of the TV in the Staff Room and she had to be told by someone that England were wearing Red that day.

 

[Bill]

not my wife but an ex of mine hated football, she once said whilst i was watching motd "whats the point of that, 22 men running after a ball, why not give them one each".

hence the need for a new model:)

 

[burning blue soul]

when I was courting my wife many years ago I took her out for a meal. I began pointing out things that she would like to order. When she piped up with "I can't order that" "why not" I say "because it's got beef tomatoes in it, and I'm vegetarian"!!!!

 

[Fat Chance]

Little Nellie in Gorton...she once told me she'd been to the doc's for a repeat prediction (with a straight kite), the tea i was drinking flooded out me nose. Wherupon she informed the room 'he was always like that from being a kid' (straight kite).

 

[Trigger]

One of the lads at work said that when he was born he was named after the doctor who delivered him, a fellow female employee replied "really what was he called!" ;)

 

[kbb]

On holiday in Malaysia watching the 2006 World Cup Final at about 3am and my wife says "the good thing about getting up early is at least we will know the result before everyone else!!"