Suicide

[Dr Jacoby]

As a neurodivergent individual (high functioning autism, ADHD + suspected CPTSD), I can definitely relate. I am 33 now yet feel and act more like a 20 year old. I struggle to learn new things (unmedicated ADHD + chronic dissociation = bad combo) and I am as socially inept as they come. My executive functioning is laughably bad.

I have attempted to take my own life on three occasions but I can say, to a certain extent, I am happy to still be here.

Anyway, more importantly, it’s great to hear mtinadids is doing okay and getting some support. My heart goes out to you.

 

[gaz76]

I’ll fully admit alcohol is making me depressed far too often. On nights out, I’m with friends but feel completely alone. I drink more to try and fit in but then get worse. I’ll disappear and then not get out of bed until the following afternoon.

It’s just not working for me so I’m going to have to cut down majorly. Days out for football are fine as I head home afterwards but a dependency on the pub increased after lockdown and it never really went away.

I’m streaming Turkey v Wales on S4C and have nothing stronger than tea on the go. I’ve been thinking about this for a while and now I’m going to stick to it.

Stuff being unhappy. It’s not right.

It's definitely the beer mate, I get that way all the time, seems like a great idea at the time, then wake up, without a clue how I got there and depressed as fuck having to retrace my steps to see what mayhem I've left behind, I'm much happier when I leave it alone for months at a time. You will get there matey, just have to keep at it

 

[Edghill OG]

This forum

Fucking hell, in tears here, of joy and identifying with the OP so very much. There's a world of help out there and just by opening up in your post you can see how many fellow men and women have or are in your shoes.

You're fucking loved mate, you might not see it, you might not feel it, but this universe man, it gives back 99% of the time.

Ditto. Was welling up a bit on seeing him reply earlier. Compassion and love are what makes humans unique.

It's a really sad world that we live in that such large numbers of people believe their life is that dark the only solution is to bring a premature end to it.

 

[Deleted member 77198]

I'm quite overwhelmed by all the support her blues. I have numerous dms. Complete strangers giving me their number to call and chat. I have an appointment at 1400. After that I may take some of you up on that pls. As I said in my initial post, bluemoon has always been my constant. I have quite an extraordinary story to tell which I think is beneficial for me to get out. I'll post in here later and I apologise if it seems a tad self indulgent but it's so weird you'll understand why I am where I am.. Thanks all. I'm feeling a bit of motivation and it's purely from you all. One poster said 'don't let the bastards grind you down'. Thats so right and that line just gave me the anger I needed. Why the actual hell should I let the evil of others destroy me. If nothing else I'm a blue and we never give up. Love you all and chat to few of you later.

It wouldn’t be self-indulgent to post your story, mate.

Some of us have tens of thousands of posts talking about ourselves… now that’s self-indulgent, haha!

 

[1961_vintage]

@mtinadids work with the professionals and the people that love you. They will help you to identify your reasons for living. You will have many I'm sure of it, even if you are struggling to see them right now.

 

[BlueTG]

It’s a top place this forum, and it’s comforting when you see poster’s names pop up frequently even if we never interact. I’ll keep a look out for your posts, and hope you light that fire inside of you again.

 

[MellowJoe]

Ditto. Was welling up a bit on seeing him reply earlier. Compassion and love are what makes humans unique.

It's a really sad world that we live in that such large numbers of people believe their life is that dark the only solution is to bring a premature end to it.

Compelled to say I felt the same, saw the post at 6am, and thought fuck, don't know the guy, don't know what he's been through, but after work, checked this thread and saw the reply and thank goodness. We're all just fumbling around in the dark aren't we.

 

[Edghill OG]

Compelled to say I felt the same, saw the post at 6am, and thought fuck, don't know the guy, don't know what he's been through, but after work, checked this thread and saw the reply and thank goodness. We're all just fumbling around in the dark aren't we.

Absolutely mate. I'm sure lots can relate to how he's felt. I don't think I'd have the bravery to post on here like he has done.

Growing up depression, anxiety etc was never spoken about. Every so often you'd hear of somebody committing suicide but nothing more was said as to the reasons why. It was just the elephant in the room. At least people are coming to accept that they may well be suffering with an illness that isn't visible and finally support is becoming more readily available.

 

[somapop]

@mtinadids great to hear your reply mate and I'll echo the thoughts of all on here.

Feel free to PM me too - like a few on here, I've been through the mill a good few years ago.
I used lots of strategies at the time which I continue to use to this day, but wholly understand how dark it can feel at times (but getting through the other side eventually will feel empowering).

 

[blue44]

I'm quite overwhelmed by all the support her blues. I have numerous dms. Complete strangers giving me their number to call and chat. I have an appointment at 1400. After that I may take some of you up on that pls. As I said in my initial post, bluemoon has always been my constant. I have quite an extraordinary story to tell which I think is beneficial for me to get out. I'll post in here later and I apologise if it seems a tad self indulgent but it's so weird you'll understand why I am where I am.. Thanks all. I'm feeling a bit of motivation and it's purely from you all. One poster said 'don't let the bastards grind you down'. Thats so right and that line just gave me the anger I needed. Why the actual hell should I let the evil of others destroy me. If nothing else I'm a blue and we never give up. Love you all and chat to few of you later.

Just seen your post.
I come from a dark past.
I hope you're OK fella.
Its very clear people on here want to help and support you.