The Album Review Club - Christmas Break Until 8th January

Well to bring this back on track I had this on today and what a superb album it is, absolutely brilliant and right up my street!

As I've said before this thread throws up some gems and is definitely one. Amazing Grace aside, I loved every track and it's got that irresistible blend of rock/blues/country that's Stones-esque but unmistakably Rod Stewart.

These type of albums that were made in the 70s are so good but because there were so many other good albums that decade, you can easily miss them.

Brilliant nomination @Saddleworth2 and I'll be checking out more of his albums.

10/10.
 
mrbelfry said:
Every Picture Tells A Story - Rod Stewart

Rod Stewart has some cool and talented friends all having a good time playing on this album. You'll have a good time as well as all the tunes are good and well played. It may leave you a little empty and unsatisfied though as the album only allows approximations of emotion to escape the cool exterior that leaves me wondering who the hell even is Rod Stewart other than the guy with the cool friends.

Weakest moment on the album is the Amazing Grace hidden track which suddenly smacks you in the face after the fine That's All Right (which for no reason other than everyones having a good time adds minutes of repeats to an already simple track). Who is Stewart singing this to? What's he been saved from? What happened in his life that prompted crisis and redemption? I suspect nothing and it was either the result of someone messing about in the studio, he liked the tune or he heard someone else doing it. It's a song with a heavy dose of humility but Stewart definitely gives off a "do you know who I am" attitude. I get the same sense from the other tracks which seem more determined to be cool than say anything significant.

Maggie May makes the best straight forward attempt at insight. I do enjoy the line "The morning sun, when it's in your face, really shows your age" - it's simple sure but is a really nice line that for me the rest of the song can't live up to primarily because it feels to me that he's just writing a song because it's cool rather than because he has anything to say. I doubt he could make a living playing pool and the line about joining a rock and roll band is incredibly smug and self regarding. I honestly don't know what the first 30 seconds of acoustic guitar is doing on this track. It's completely unnecessary - the album is already "cool" enough.

Rod Steward grew up in London but in Mandolin Wind decides to write a song about american farmers surviving a cold winter at the turn of the century. It's actually a nice tune until he says everything is hers except his steel guitar. Graciously he lets her know he will give her lessons. What a guy! Rod Stewart thinks this is romantic because he's a charming good looking sociopath. Stuff has come to him so easy that he's not even doing the minimum amount of work. This is probably my biggest beef. It's sooooo goooood without anyone seemingly having to make any effort. But the lack of work shows in the emotional scope of the songs that are written just because songs are cool and not because you have anything to say. Even the tiniest amount of work would have demonstrated that the emotion in Mandolin Wind is fraudulent and unearned. The last buffalo died in the 1890's - just as the steel guitar was invented in Hawaii. It took 10 years but Hawiian music did become pretty popular but Rod definitely doesn't know this - the farmers are definitely not having weekly lūʻau's. He's not done the maths or the work. Do the work Rod.

The only emotionally honest song is the title track. I can definitely picture Rod Stewart staring at his own reflection combing his hair a thousand different ways. Then he travels the world sleeping with women at peace marches and I bet he did actually stink. Every Picture Tells A Story - all the pictures are of the naked women he's forced into abortions. Of course this makes a mockery of Maggie May unless Rod is arguing he treats women like crap because some fit bird used him for a summer. He definitely does seem the type to make her know it's her fault that he treats her that way. Hey it's ok though because he'll teach you how to play guitar. If he hits you with that then that's on you.

Anyhoo it's immensely listenable album that is called Every Picture Tells A Story and has a picture on the cover of Rod Stewart making love to a microphone - he uses a different one every night but his favourite is the cheap one he picked up in China.

I hate how much I enjoyed it - 8 out of 10
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I'm lost for words but I'll try.
As I read it, I thought it was a review from the NME circa 1971 I was amazed it was written today.
I cannot believe you have researched when the last buffalo died. Do all songs have to be historically correct?

It's an album by a singer song writer, it's not meant to be a musical version of the Encyclopedia Brittanica.

The album came out at a time the only radio station was Radio One who forced shite down teenagers ears because old wankers in blazers thought it was good for them.
It was different, it was good, no brilliant. Stewart didnt take himself half as seriously as you suggest.
 
Saddleworth2 said:
Thats because it is a very fine album of rock/country music which is what I thought we were reviewing. You seem to be reviewing Rod Stewarts life style albeit I have no idea if you have real knowledge of his medical history.

Maybe we should review all our picks so far for their authors questionable behaviours. Also maybe we ban any songs that don't have the composers 'lived experience' in them. Perhaps too we should check everything for historical and geographic authenticity.

It’s a first for me mate, reading a review dripping with poison where the author actually likes the album. Well done.
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I think this may be where it is worth mention that Rod had a reputation for never getting his round in at the bar but what he absolutely did do is pay Ronnie Lane’s medical expenses.
 
Blue Mist said:
I'm lost for words but I'll try.
As I read it, I thought it was a review from the NME circa 1971 I was amazed it was written today.
I cannot believe you have researched when the last buffalo died. Do all songs have to be historically correct?

It's an album by a singer song writer, it's not meant to be a musical version of the Encyclopedia Brittanica.

The album came out at a time the only radio station was Radio One who forced shite down teenagers ears because old wankers in blazers thought it was good for them.
It was different, it was good, no brilliant. Stewart didnt take himself half as seriously as you suggest.
Click to expand...
A hatred of rock stars was always going to throw up ‘interesting’ interpretations of their albums. Thank the lord I didn’t nominate a Stones or Zeppelin or…….album.
 
OB1 said:
I think this may be where it is worth mention that Rod had a reputation for never getting his round in at the bar but what he absolutely did do is pay Ronnie Lane’s medical expenses.
Click to expand...
The only crimes I know of that he definitely has committed are against music. For that he is guilty and his only defence is he was good when he was younger :-)
His dad is Scottish so there is some good in him.
 
Blue Mist said:
I cannot believe you have researched when the last buffalo died. Do all songs have to be historically correct?
Click to expand...
I can't quite believe I'm going to write this but:

Once roaming in vast herds the species (Bison, Rod, Bison) nearly became extinct by a combination of commercial hunting and slaughter in the 19th century and introduction of bovine diseases from domestic cattle. With an estimated population of 60 million in the late 18th century, the species was culled down to just 541 animals by 1889 as part of the subjugation of the Native Americans, because the American bison was a major resource for their traditional way of life. Mandolin Wind is a song written from the perspective of an aged farmer tending to his wife. The year it is set in is unknown.

Are you still with me mate?

Now steel guitars were invented in polynesia in 1885 and were extremely popular in the USA by 1915 when
Hawaian music was very popular.

Now this is where it gets interesting,

In 1905, the American Bison Society was founded, and the population gradually increased to a stable level of around 30,000 wild bison today.

So it would be altogether possible to have Bison/s freezing in a bloody field at the same time as Farmer Rod is sliding his steel rod up and down for the entertainment of his good lady.

I rest my case mlud.
 
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