Big hug my friend.God bless you all.As was said before, time is the greatest healer,I know it's a common saying but it's true.
All i would say is live your life (or try your best) as best you can to make them as proud as you can.Life will never be the same again my friend,but it will make you a stronger person believe me!.
Chin up, be strong, God bless.xx