Tommy Robinson converts to Islam.
Kanye West becomes Katie West following a sex change.
Bobby Charlton dies and it turns out he was worse than Jimmy Saville.
They've started selling Curly-Wurlies in my local supermarket here. 3 for €1. There's no describing the joy I experienced when I found this out.You'll still struggle to find a Curly Wurly and Dale Winton will still be as orange as a duty free shop assistant.
Homelessness will be a thing of the past as anyone who can't afford rent or is an undesirable tenant shall be liquidated by the state.