Things that can make you grumpy

Quagmire blue said:
BimboBob said:
Adverts for perfume at Christmas and cars during the rest of the year.


A perfume advert will make no fucking sense at all and will feature a tiny breasted tart waffling on about how it's going to be her day before some fake walls fall down and she storms out in a huff before a stupid french accent tells you what it is but in french. Pour Homme. Fuck off. Fuck off now. I'm going to be different! I fucking am. I'm going to do it by wearing a perfume that 1 million other people will wear. I will not be the person people expect me to be!! I fucking won't. Oh no. Today I'm going to flounce out of a room. I fucking will, just watch me. Here I go. Bet you didn't expect that do you. I told you I would be different. Fetch us a cup of tea. Cheers. All this flouncing has made me thirsty. Must be the perfume getting in my throat.


Car adverts that promise an "new driving experience" do you use a wheel and drive on the roads with it? Oh right, sorry I thought you had invented a hoover car, now that would be FUCKING ACE, but no it's just a car being chased by paintballs. Other ones promise "all new levels of comfort" but fail to include a high backed armchair in front of a fire with a large scotch and a decent book in their "comfort" list. The ones that really do my fucking nut in are those ads that show cars driving along deserted city roads with the ever so good looking people in the front seats smiling and laughing as they drive around free from any cares in the world, even the uglier ones in the back are fucking smiling as though being driven in a car is the highlight of their miserable fucking lives. *****. Oh look, I'm on my own in a car on an empty road, what's that up ahead? Another car the same as mine but slightly different, less race very slowly before I lose you and then you can indicate left for a bit before me and a mate pop up behind you and fuck you roughly in both holes because that's what they are suggesting you billowy tart.
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Outstanding post!
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Take a bow Bimbo :-) I couldn't agree more.
 
Lying on the couch watching telly reading daft shit in the cellar nursing the motherfucker of all hangovers because I stupidly went out on Mad Friday I get a knock on the door. Quick look out the window and there's a cute young blonde stood there (serious this) who I don't from Adam. Answered door, playing it cool, the girl asks is this 142a? Now seen as I have 1a right on my door and there are only 8 dwellings on my street I'm thinking not so bright cute young blonde. Is this a fucking set up?

I knew where she was on about, so shoes on and walked her there, just showed her round the corner and asks who lives here? My boyfriend and he's a big fucker too.

I'm getting old....
 
karen7 said:
Men drivers






Runs away,FAST!
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Not driving away fast though love are you? Not with all that faffing you do just to get the engine going and the car into a gear, not the correct gear because any gear will do won't it, I mean, they are only silly little things aren't they? and woo betide actually going over a roundabout without stopping as nothing is coming, I mean even Stevie Wonder wouldn't stop there would he, you can see for fucking miles, but you did, bless, just in case they have invented invisible cars WHICH THEY FUCKING HAVEN'T AND NEVER WILL DO, and then you dawdle your way into the multi story carpark which confuses you as you have to actually reverse either into a parking space or out, which means you will hold up 400 cars driven by men who can do this WITH THEIR EYES FUCKING SHUT.
 
BimboBob said:
karen7 said:
Men drivers






Runs away,FAST!
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Not driving away fast though love are you? Not with all that faffing you do just to get the engine going and the car into a gear, not the correct gear because any gear will do won't it, I mean, they are only silly little things aren't they? and woo betide actually going over a roundabout without stopping as nothing is coming, I mean even Stevie Wonder wouldn't stop there would he, you can see for fucking miles, but you did, bless, just in case they have invented invisible cars WHICH THEY FUCKING HAVEN'T AND NEVER WILL DO, and then you dawdle your way into the multi story carpark which confuses you as you have to actually reverse either into a parking space or out, which means you will hold up 400 cars driven by men who can do this WITH THEIR EYES FUCKING SHUT.
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Touchy :)

I drive an auto and have a steering knob so i can turn on a sixpence and park first time
Mr K is utter rubbish in the car and is always telling me to slow down
 
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