Things that made you feel awful.

[Laurent Charvet]

Went on a family holiday to Lapland a few years ago. Quite a few of us there. Something different for the kids in the family... get to meet Father Christmas, see reindeers etc. While the older folk can have a dabble at skiing, snowboarding etc.

One of the tours we were taken on was 'Santa's Workshop'. Shown around a big log cabin with 'elves' working away. We get taken outside and wait around for a ride in 'Santa's Sleigh' (Pulled by reindeer). Just hanging around, me and my younger cousin have a little snowball fight. My even younger cousin pipes up "Hit me! Hit me!"

... at which point I unleashed, possibly, the most devastating snowball in history. This must have been 30 or 40 feet away. I threw it... he saw it coming... and just watched it. SMACK. Straight in the face, took him off his feet. He hit the deck that hard that his legs nearly went over his head.

My stomach just sank, everyone was staring at me. All I could think to say was 'Good shot though'.

 

[rushts]

Went on a family holiday to Lapland a few years ago. Quite a few of us there. Something different for the kids in the family... get to meet Father Christmas, see reindeers etc. While the older folk can have a dabble at skiing, snowboarding etc.

One of the tours we were taken on was 'Santa's Workshop'. Shown around a big log cabin with 'elves' working away. We get taken outside and wait around for a ride in 'Santa's Sleigh' (Pulled by reindeer). Just hanging around, me and my younger cousin have a little snowball fight. My even younger cousin pipes up "Hit me! Hit me!"

... at which point I unleashed, possibly, the most devastating snowball in history. This must have been 30 or 40 feet away. I threw it... he saw it coming... and just watched it. SMACK. Straight in the face, took him off his feet. He hit the deck that hard that his legs nearly went over his head.

My stomach just sank, everyone was staring at me. All I could think to say was 'Good shot though'.

Live by the sword..... He shouldn't have been egging you on, fucking great shot.

 

[Barcon]

Went on a family holiday to Lapland a few years ago. Quite a few of us there. Something different for the kids in the family... get to meet Father Christmas, see reindeers etc. While the older folk can have a dabble at skiing, snowboarding etc.

One of the tours we were taken on was 'Santa's Workshop'. Shown around a big log cabin with 'elves' working away. We get taken outside and wait around for a ride in 'Santa's Sleigh' (Pulled by reindeer). Just hanging around, me and my younger cousin have a little snowball fight. My even younger cousin pipes up "Hit me! Hit me!"

... at which point I unleashed, possibly, the most devastating snowball in history. This must have been 30 or 40 feet away. I threw it... he saw it coming... and just watched it. SMACK. Straight in the face, took him off his feet. He hit the deck that hard that his legs nearly went over his head.

My stomach just sank, everyone was staring at me. All I could think to say was 'Good shot though'.

Try wrapping a pine cone in the middle next time. He wouldn't get up.

 

[2sheikhs]

Done the same thing to a bloke who cut out in front of me unexpectedly, (he was also driving a car), and made me swerve to avoid him. I went fucking mental, absolutely ape shit. Pulled up next to him at the lights and he was a really, really old man who was clearly shaken.
I actually pulled over into a lay-by and gathered my thoughts, as the look on his face was horrendous. Still can see it now.

Did something similar only with a woman. She cut in front of me from a side street and I was driving an eight wheel skip truck. I kept my hand on the horn and my headlights on full, driving about 1 inch away from her bumper. I was getting proper road rage until I could see in her mirror that she was crying her eyes out. I felt like crap for scaring her so when we stopped at the lights I got out of the truck to apologise to her. She must have thought I was still angry and thought I was going to hit her or something so she set off with the lights on red and a van only just missed her.

 

[Laurent Charvet]

Went on a family holiday to Lapland a few years ago. Quite a few of us there. Something different for the kids in the family... get to meet Father Christmas, see reindeers etc. While the older folk can have a dabble at skiing, snowboarding etc.

One of the tours we were taken on was 'Santa's Workshop'. Shown around a big log cabin with 'elves' working away. We get taken outside and wait around for a ride in 'Santa's Sleigh' (Pulled by reindeer). Just hanging around, me and my younger cousin have a little snowball fight. My even younger cousin pipes up "Hit me! Hit me!"

... at which point I unleashed, possibly, the most devastating snowball in history. This must have been 30 or 40 feet away. I threw it... he saw it coming... and just watched it. SMACK. Straight in the face, took him off his feet. He hit the deck that hard that his legs nearly went over his head.

My stomach just sank, everyone was staring at me. All I could think to say was 'Good shot though'.

Live by the sword..... He shouldn't have been egging you on, fucking great shot.

It's a strange feeling... guilt mixed with pride. The pride has gradually killed off the guilt though. He's older now, so I regularly mention it.

 

[Cellarite]

I've pondered posting this all day but fuck it, I'm a bad bastard and need to confess. I regret it and always will.

When I was 19, I used to drink in a little boozer in Eccles. I was flirting with the barmaid all the time and sort of knew I'd end up going out with her. There was this other girl who always used to come in. I don't want to be politically incorrect but she was a shinpad short of a full kit. A big girl who wore a ski coat, a long flowery dress, white socks and trainers all the time. I was never a twat to her, I normally talk to people who clearly aren't all there because I hate people taking the piss or the sight of lonely people.
Anyway, I'd arranged a weekend in Blackpool with a few mates one time and was in a few nights before talking to both the girl behind the bar and the troubled girl. I suppose I was showing off to the girl behind the bar. This other girl was asking would I be in there at the weekend and I told her no because I was going to Blackpool on the Friday. She said she'd never been and would love to go. Now she had a head like a sieve. Things like forgetting your name and every conversation you'd had with her so I thought she'd forget this as well. I invited her to Blackpool and told her it'd be just the two of us.
I arranged to meet her at 6 on the Friday in the pub (my mates were picking me up at 5). I thought no more of it until I got back and went for a drink when the barmaid said she'd turned up an hour after I'd left with a bag of clothes and sat and waited for me.

It's probably the thing I've done which has made me feel like a total **** and I'm quite ashamed.

 

[Blue Smarties]

I've pondered posting this all day but fuck it, I'm a bad bastard and need to confess. I regret it and always will.

When I was 19, I used to drink in a little boozer in Eccles. I was flirting with the barmaid all the time and sort of knew I'd end up going out with her. There was this other girl who always used to come in. I don't want to be politically incorrect but she was a shinpad short of a full kit. A big girl who wore a ski coat, a long flowery dress, white socks and trainers all the time. I was never a twat to her, I normally talk to people who clearly aren't all there because I hate people taking the piss or the sight of lonely people.
Anyway, I'd arranged a weekend in Blackpool with a few mates one time and was in a few nights before talking to both the girl behind the bar and the troubled girl. I suppose I was showing off to the girl behind the bar. This other girl was asking would I be in there at the weekend and I told her no because I was going to Blackpool on the Friday. She said she'd never been and would love to go. Now she had a head like a sieve. Things like forgetting your name and every conversation you'd had with her so I thought she'd forget this as well. I invited her to Blackpool and told her it'd be just the two of us.
I arranged to meet her at 6 on the Friday in the pub (my mates were picking me up at 5). I thought no more of it until I got back and went for a drink when the barmaid said she'd turned up an hour after I'd left with a bag of clothes and sat and waited for me.

It's probably the thing I've done which has made me feel like a total **** and I'm quite ashamed.

 

[Hamann Pineapple]

I've pondered posting this all day but fuck it, I'm a bad bastard and need to confess. I regret it and always will.

When I was 19, I used to drink in a little boozer in Eccles. I was flirting with the barmaid all the time and sort of knew I'd end up going out with her. There was this other girl who always used to come in. I don't want to be politically incorrect but she was a shinpad short of a full kit. A big girl who wore a ski coat, a long flowery dress, white socks and trainers all the time. I was never a twat to her, I normally talk to people who clearly aren't all there because I hate people taking the piss or the sight of lonely people.
Anyway, I'd arranged a weekend in Blackpool with a few mates one time and was in a few nights before talking to both the girl behind the bar and the troubled girl. I suppose I was showing off to the girl behind the bar. This other girl was asking would I be in there at the weekend and I told her no because I was going to Blackpool on the Friday. She said she'd never been and would love to go. Now she had a head like a sieve. Things like forgetting your name and every conversation you'd had with her so I thought she'd forget this as well. I invited her to Blackpool and told her it'd be just the two of us.
I arranged to meet her at 6 on the Friday in the pub (my mates were picking me up at 5). I thought no more of it until I got back and went for a drink when the barmaid said she'd turned up an hour after I'd left with a bag of clothes and sat and waited for me.

It's probably the thing I've done which has made me feel like a total **** and I'm quite ashamed.

She'll be sat there rocking in the old folks home in 40 years time with her "Kiss me Quick" hat on. Chin up.

 

[CTID1988]

OP, one of the funniest things I've ever read

 

[2sheikhs]

I've pondered posting this all day but fuck it, I'm a bad bastard and need to confess. I regret it and always will.

When I was 19, I used to drink in a little boozer in Eccles. I was flirting with the barmaid all the time and sort of knew I'd end up going out with her. There was this other girl who always used to come in. I don't want to be politically incorrect but she was a shinpad short of a full kit. A big girl who wore a ski coat, a long flowery dress, white socks and trainers all the time. I was never a twat to her, I normally talk to people who clearly aren't all there because I hate people taking the piss or the sight of lonely people.
Anyway, I'd arranged a weekend in Blackpool with a few mates one time and was in a few nights before talking to both the girl behind the bar and the troubled girl. I suppose I was showing off to the girl behind the bar. This other girl was asking would I be in there at the weekend and I told her no because I was going to Blackpool on the Friday. She said she'd never been and would love to go. Now she had a head like a sieve. Things like forgetting your name and every conversation you'd had with her so I thought she'd forget this as well. I invited her to Blackpool and told her it'd be just the two of us.
I arranged to meet her at 6 on the Friday in the pub (my mates were picking me up at 5). I thought no more of it until I got back and went for a drink when the barmaid said she'd turned up an hour after I'd left with a bag of clothes and sat and waited for me.

It's probably the thing I've done which has made me feel like a total **** and I'm quite ashamed.

BRILLIANT!

I thought you'd find that funny. Doesn't surprise me.
You're a right **** you.