Things You Can't Say in the Throes of Passion

[johnny on the spot]

A close friend of mine was just told 'Don't ever call me 'YOU SEXY woman' again'.

Apparently he's running out of ideas and 'my beautiful delicate tulip princess' didn't fucking cut it last time.

Answers on a postcard.

 

[tidyman]

Getting the name wrong never goes down particularly well in my experience.

 

[dronefromsector7g]

Oh Sergio is a no no.

 

[wayne71]

Wait there im just nipping for a shit.

 

[johnny on the spot]

Bedroom door slammed, the lot, he tells me.

 

[oakiecokie]

Have you just farted !!??

 

[stony]

"you should have told me before we started, I'd have slammed your tit in the door on the way in"


She didn't find it as funny as I did. Bonus points if you can guess the conversation which preceded it.

 

[mcmanus]

Your mam is miles dirtier.

 

[Bill]

"how did Edin miss that"

 

[jimharri]

''Is that a skidmark?''