Top tips thread

[Ardwick AFC]

This is not a Viz tribute, more a helpful thread for your fellow man.

I'll start....The Ikea backwards trick.

So, it's a bank holiday, and for some bizarre reason, the wife is desperate to purchase a new item of furniture from ikea as there's a big sale on etc... She can't carry it herself, so you have to go with her....

Now, if you've never been to ikea, you have to walk around a maze of showrooms that span two floors, before you can collect what you want and pay for it. And on a busy bank holiday or a saturday this can take hours.

This is what you do. Whilst at home, have a look on the ikea website, pick the item you want, the size and colour etc.. Then ring the ikea branch, and ask them if they have it in stock, and where in the warehouse it is situated. They will give you the code number for it's location. Drive to ikea, park the car in the pick-up area, then walk in the exits by the tills, cut through the tills and into the warehouse, use your code to find the item. Collect and pay and away you go to enjoy the rest of your day, without being stuck in a crowd of numpties.

I did this once and was in and out in 10 mins.

 

[Richard]

Quite topical, never ever eat yellow snow.

 

[daveduke67]

If you find someone choking on an ice cube pour boiling water down their throat and it'll melt the blockage.

 

[smudgedj]

Don't whistle whilst eating soup.

 

[sickboyblue]

Never wipe your arse with a broken bottle.

 

[Anonymous]

My tip is: come up with a better idea for a thread lol.

 

[smudgedj]

If you find someone choking on an ice cube pour boiling water down their throat and it'll melt the blockage.

That's a better method than pulling their trousers down and licking their bottom. Hindlick maneuver or whatever it's called.

 

[daveduke67]

If you find someone choking on an ice cube pour boiling water down their throat and it'll melt the blockage.

That's a better method than pulling their trousers down and licking their bottom. Hindlick maneuver or whatever it's called.

Not sure about you, but I don't think I'd be reaching for the kettle is she got an ice cube stuck........

 

[markyboyblue]

If you want to know how many days are in a month look at your fist!

Firstly make a fist then starting at on your first knuckle, thats January and 31 days then go in between the knuckle its 30 days (or whatever february is). Just go along your fist and then you know how many days in each month simple.

 

[noely]

before driving in the countryside or in muddy conditions wrap you vehicle in cling film and when you finish your journey unwrap the cling film and have a lovely clean car still