Thanks for the good wishes everyone. Sat with mum now showing her the movies we took, though she's mostly asleep and the quick visit from the carers is soon. She stood up briefly with the home physio team today which is brilliant, her first time out of bed since rushed to hospital February 15th. It's still a few days at a time, but there's hope there will be more months left, and it's still two fingers to that hospital who moved her to end of life care telling us she had days to live - in March. Lay in bed on oxygen in a hospital bed in her own lounge is better than being in that place.. 5 weeks in that place and condemed by them to "hours, days a week left at most" after 4, but now had 10 weeks at home with her. Though me and my sister never expected to be live in carers... But here we are.. So time with my boy and my "normal" life is precious, as is being with mum.. I wish there were two of me.. And I'm trapped between looking to the future for my son and seeing the past all the time as my mum fades, whilst trying to be in the now without having a breakdown.. And so desperately trying to get into the "treble" feeling as city have been my life, this is huge huge, it matters so much to me.. But cos of it being right now, it's just spinning my head. And I know I'm mentioning it in many of my posts, but we're deeply traumatised really.
Anyway, enough doom. Just wanted to say thanks. My son says he didn't "repeat any bad words" at school today so that's good! He enjoyed the final and I was so proud to take him, so proud, I missed mum with me, but cried for many reasons when it sunk in we were going to win. I was his age for the 81 final (no one took me but I remember the day clearly) and here I was with my longed for much loved son at the fa cup final (my 16th trip, his 1st). Wish it was him WITH my mum rather than instead of her, wish they were either side of me, but mum was in my head and heart. We had a brilliant day though, I felt truly happy.
Long shot I kniw, but does anyone have one of the official all blue city cup final scarves they were selling in wembkey, they were £20. I got one for my 6 yr old but mum wants one and I messed up by not bringing one home. She could have his, but having it in bed it will get stained with food and probable wee, so even when washed he doesn't want it back, so I think I've failed as a daughter AND as a Mum in one go there! :(
What a way to win though. And that goal, that start - fuck me! And laughing at the rags will never get old :)