United thread 2012/13 (inc merged IPO thread)

[TCIB]

Ferguson able to receive visitors
A DISTRAUGHT Alex Ferguson is slowly recovering from his attack of the vapours.

After the unconscionable behaviour of Real Madrid and the actions of a beastly little Turk, the 71 year-old Glaswegian wallflower has taken to his bed. Man United doctors say the manager has been quite bereft ever since and describe his current condition as fragile.

Assistant manager Mike Phelan said: “It’d break your heart to see him, clutching the coverlet of his bed, looking at me with those pleading, rheumy eyes and mouthing the word ‘why?’ over and over again.

“He looks like some frightened fawn that lost its mother, assuming its mother had mated with a particularly rough-looking bull mastiff.”

Ferguson has been able to drink some weak hibiscus tea since Tuesday but has still eaten nothing more than a few thin cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off then deep fried in batter.

Manchester United has pleaded with UEFA to overturn the red card given to Nani for bravely attempting the world’s first foot-based heart surgery in the hope it will raise Ferguson’s spirits enough to at least shout weakly at a reporter.

Meanwhile, players have started visiting their manager to try and help mend his shattered heart, with captain Rio Ferdinand raising a thin smile by reading some Walter Scott poetry.

Phelan said: “I simply don’t understand why anyone would want to hurt such a beautiful, simple creature like Alex who wants nothing more than to belligerently demand the world do his bidding.”

Brilliant :-D

 

[mcmanus]

Ha Ha
Its on in the background
Unbelievable though,straight on first words he says ive banned two papers from here today and they wont be coming back until they apoligise for writing lies

Should be doing the same at our club for writing the shit they do.

What you have to say is that he achieves what he sets out to do. He can wield such power because of the power of the club that he manages, but in all fairness it is he who has created that monster in the first place. He is a truly remarkable figure in the game, whatever your personal feelings towards him might be.

As much as I don't like him, I have far more respect for him than the so called free press who he has completely cowed into submission, who then decide to pick on someone less inclined to bite back: our manager. They are like the kids in the playground getting pushed around by the cock of the year seeking out someone else to take their frustrations out on.

Newspaper journalism is the most dishonest and disgusting profession of the lot. Including MP's.

More dishonest than Recruitment Consultants or Estate Agents? Jeeeeezus.

We could go on, ambulance chasing solicitors, accountants, traffic wardens, shoplifters and that scum that accumulates at the corner off your mouth when you're really thirsty.

Not one of those snivelling kunting journos seem to have had the balls to say ...'Alex with you being an experienced manager and all, why did you carry on having a hissy whilst Jose was making the changes that won the match?'

 

[1.618034]

Re: Ferguson press conference on Friday

Samuel just hates them, lol

THE DEBATE: Studs up, high tackle, red card, correct to send Nani off. Not sure what all the fuss is about? MARTIN SAMUEL: That's what happens when United lose...

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2289463/Martin-Samuel--The-Debate-Studs-high-tackle-red-card-Not-sure-fuss-Eh-Manchester-United-lost.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/footba ... -lost.html</a>

Brilliant again from Samuel. I don't think I've ever read anything by him that I didn't agree with...

Plus Fela Kuti!!!

Awesome and a great soundtrack to the piece...


My personal highlight...

But it can’t be a typo. It’s not even near the C.

Bluemoonesque in his destruction of pomposity.

 

[dukie]

The pisscan also stated in that interview 'that's the 3rd time refs have knocked us out of Europe' (to paraphrase).

I don't often watch them so what are the two other times have manyoo been fucked by a devilish ref.

Porto in 2004, linesman's fault though.

The other might be referring to Bayern Munich in 2010 when Rafael got two yellows.

Thought you might like this.. <a class="postlink" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZXHIJY7m8Ys" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=p ... XHIJY7m8Ys</a>

Apologies if posted already, I can only deal with one page of this forum at a single sitting.

 

[LoveCity]

This man can't be healthy, his face looks like it could explode any second.













(leaving a space in case you've just eaten)

 

[kaz7]

I thought he was slurring or had a stroke not sure which!

 

[gordondaviesmoustache]

All smiling, happy family (as always):

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2290080/Wayne-Rooney-stay-Manchester-United-says-Sir-Alex-Ferguson.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/footba ... guson.html</a>

Our fearless and fiercely independent press, who Kowtow to no-one.

Doesn't it make you proud to be British?

 

[1.618034]

Ferguson able to receive visitors
A DISTRAUGHT Alex Ferguson is slowly recovering from his attack of the vapours.

After the unconscionable behaviour of Real Madrid and the actions of a beastly little Turk, the 71 year-old Glaswegian wallflower has taken to his bed. Man United doctors say the manager has been quite bereft ever since and describe his current condition as fragile.

Assistant manager Mike Phelan said: “It’d break your heart to see him, clutching the coverlet of his bed, looking at me with those pleading, rheumy eyes and mouthing the word ‘why?’ over and over again.

“He looks like some frightened fawn that lost its mother, assuming its mother had mated with a particularly rough-looking bull mastiff.”

Ferguson has been able to drink some weak hibiscus tea since Tuesday but has still eaten nothing more than a few thin cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off then deep fried in batter.

Manchester United has pleaded with UEFA to overturn the red card given to Nani for bravely attempting the world’s first foot-based heart surgery in the hope it will raise Ferguson’s spirits enough to at least shout weakly at a reporter.

Meanwhile, players have started visiting their manager to try and help mend his shattered heart, with captain Rio Ferdinand raising a thin smile by reading some Walter Scott poetry.

Phelan said: “I simply don’t understand why anyone would want to hurt such a beautiful, simple creature like Alex who wants nothing more than to belligerently demand the world do his bidding.”

If that's your own work then take a bow...

-)

 

[mcmanus]

The pisscan also stated in that interview 'that's the 3rd time refs have knocked us out of Europe' (to paraphrase).

I don't often watch them so what are the two other times have manyoo been fucked by a devilish ref.

Porto in 2004, linesman's fault though.

The other might be referring to Bayern Munich in 2010 when Rafael got two yellows.

Thought you might like this.. <a class="postlink" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZXHIJY7m8Ys" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=p ... XHIJY7m8Ys</a>

Apologies if posted already, I can only deal with one page of this forum at a single sitting.

The old twat is still narked about a decision made a decade ago against Porto.

You lot will lap that shit up like I would Kelly Brook's twat juice.

 

[Swales lives]

The pisscan also stated in that interview 'that's the 3rd time refs have knocked us out of Europe' (to paraphrase).

I don't often watch them so what are the two other times have manyoo been fucked by a devilish ref.

Porto in 2004, linesman's fault though.

The other might be referring to Bayern Munich in 2010 when Rafael got two yellows.

Thought you might like this.. <a class="postlink" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZXHIJY7m8Ys" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=p ... XHIJY7m8Ys</a>

Apologies if posted already, I can only deal with one page of this forum at a single sitting.

The old twat is still narked about a decision made a decade ago against Porto.

You lot will lap that shit up like I would Kelly Brook's twat juice.

LOL. Is that Byron or Shelley?