United thread 2013/14

[FogBlueInSanFran]

Good to see "Beijing Red" is keeping his spirits up. Fight on, my friend!

Beijing Red 4 Lyf ‏@Moyes_Must_Go 48m
PAST IS NOW PAST, WE MUST FORGET THE LEAGUE CUP.

WE NEED TO REGROUP AND FOCUS ON 2ND LEG OF FA CUP TIE AGAINST SWANSEA.

This guy is a literal comedy genius. As I'm in California, it's my treat right when I come home from work to read through all his tweets for the day given that I'm 8, errr, 16 hours behind him in "Beijing.". If I did it in real time I'd just sit in front of my phone all day and wait. I cry laughing nearly every time.

 

[No6]

They've released a recording of the Rag calling 999, comedy gold!

<a class="postlink" href="https://audioboo.fm/boos/1872020-listen-drunken-manchester-united-fan-calls-999-over-defeat" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">https://audioboo.fm/boos/1872020-listen ... ver-defeat</a>

"This isn't a 999 Matter"

Perhaps they'll give Juan Mata the following shirt:

Mata
999

 

[Mayor West]

It's ok, George Best has been resurrected...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3GMbd1vAks&list=UU7w8GnTF2Sp3wldDMtCCtVw[/youtube]

At least he has a nice thick mancunian accent.

 

[GeekinGav]

Last 4 transfer windows (since we won title) United net spend 140 m. City net spend 112m.

Even before Mata Transfer there was little in it and they have also put Rooney and VP on highest wages in premiership.

We should be ramming these sort of figures down their throats. Trying to buy 4th place indeed.

Is that right, that? And does it include Mata?
 
Posts: 27138
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2009 9:07 am
Location: In the King's Head, waiting for the Queen's legs to open.
Re: United thread 2013/14
by Pigeonho » Thu Jan 23, 2014 8:31 am

Hart of the matter wrote:
Last 4 transfer windows (since we won title) United net spend 140 m. City net spend 112m.

Even before Mata Transfer there was little in it and they have also put Rooney and VP on highest wages in premiership.

We should be ramming these sort of figures down their throats. Trying to buy 4th place indeed.

Is that right, that? And does it include Mata?
Ravelo 4m ? Who)
Nick Powell 6m
Butner 5m
Kagawa 15m
RVP. 26m
Zaha. 15m
Mario F. 28.5
Mata. 37m
A couple of other lesser players for 1m = approx 140m no major sales -
we spent slightly more but sold Mario and Carlos for circa 32m

Frankly, who cares who spends what?

We all know that huge sums of money wins things. We had to spend £300m+ just to catch up to the likes of Scum, Chelski and Arseholes, Arsenal have realised they need to spend again, United realise they are shit and have to spend over £200m to catch us and Chelski. City and Chelski will continue to spend and strengthen.

A;ll this comparing between teams on who's spend what and who on is pointless. Yes, we bought the league. So has every other clubs that has won the Premier League ...... its time to wake up and smell the dollar and laff at how poor the Scum are right now and enjoy it.

 

[pfazz]

United favourites to win..........

Premier League champions Manchester United are now the bookies favourite for Comedy Act of the Year at the 2014 British Comedy Awards.

Despite the year being only three weeks old, comedy veterans have admitted that topping the hilarity of “a night at Old Trafford” is simply not something anyone in the comedy industry is capable of.

Last year’s winner Jack Whitehall told reporters, “Winning is 2013 was an amazing experience, but I might as well take the rest of the year off when you look at the laughs Moyes is getting out of that squad.”

“He’s a comedy genius, clearly. I’d have looked at that squad in the summer and thought there’s not a single chuckle to be had among them, and yet here we are six months later with half the nation literally crying with mirth.”

“It’s not even that he’s made them slapstick funny, it’s the timing. You couldn’t have written last night’s performance any better.”

“I just hope they don’t go into sitcoms, or I’m buggered! Ha, that’s funny because I sound posh and a bit effeminate.”

Manchester United comedy award

Fans of other football clubs have admitted that smiling during Manchester United matches is something of an unusual feeling, until you realise David Moyes must be doing it for your entertainment.

Liverpool fan Simon Williams told us, “Watching a Man Utd game has always been ranked somewhere between a visit to the dentist and a prostate exam. Unpleasant, predictable and endured next to someone who seems to be enjoying it.”

“But now I’m actively seeking out Man Utd matches, they’re brilliant! Last night a bit of wee came out, I swear to God.”

“I imagine that come Christmas their season in review DVD will beat even Jimmy Carr’s latest release. I know I’ll be asking for it.”

 

[nellyonthewing]

BREAKING NEWS............................

JUAN MATA ARRESTED FOR REVERSING DOWN THE M6..

LOL

 

[Sigh]

Re: United favourites to win..........

“It’s not even that he’s made them slapstick funny, it’s the timing. You couldn’t have written last night’s performance any better.”

“But now I’m actively seeking out Man Utd matches, they’re brilliant! Last night a bit of wee came out, I swear to God.”

Yep. Even if something goes wrong and they win, that's just a case of the material not working / tough crowd, something that can be dealt with during rehearsal (training). Last night's use of Phil Stanley Jones at the end was genius, reminded me of Tit-For-Tat.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaP7vSoZdtw[/youtube]
FF to 7.00

 

[ManCityJordan]

Just seen on twitter, Mata to Bayern €48m all agreed. Might be bollocks because it's twitter but it was the same place i heard about Thiago, it would be to funny if it's true. Can't find a link but people are saying Bild are reporting it.

 

[Tbilisi]

Just seen on twitter, Mata to Bayern €48m all agreed. Might be bollocks because it's twitter but it was the same place i heard about Thiago, it would be to funny if it's true. Can't find a link but people are saying Bild are reporting it.

God I hope not,I cant take anymore,Ive only just had it sewn back on.

 

[marco]

bayen to hijack the deal would be very nice, cant see anything on bild but then again i cant read german