United Thread 2015/16

[BigOscar]

I agree. I think if Mourinho goes there and is given free reign on transfers, he'll build a competitive squad again. Not an exciting squad, but one that will be capable of parking the bus against anyone of consequence.

He'd have to bin off about two thirds of the squad though as most are either utter shite or not remotely Mourinho type players. They are miles away from being a coherent team.

 

[The perfect fumble]

Followed by .... "We're fucking shiiiiiit; We're fucking shiiiiiit. We're fucking shit; we're fucking shit; we're fucking shiiiiit!!!!!".

I've said this before and I don't want to trivialise something profound, but it is as if the rags are going through the five stages of grief.....denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

 

[ancoats]

They laughed at us at Blackburn
.....they're not fucking laughing now.

nice to see phil jones and the other united players who did not play tonight sitting with the fans and getting right behind the team

 

[kaz7]

I wonder how the little raggies are feeling today,makes a change for them to be the ones worried about getting the piss taken out of them at work

 

[ancoats]

Oh dear oh dear...

nice to see phil jones and the other players who did not play tonight sitting with the fans and getting right behind the team

 

[Neville Kneville]

He'd have to bin off about two thirds of the squad though as most are either utter shite or not remotely Mourinho type players. They are miles away from being a coherent team.

Chuck a big cf in there, & maybe sign another striker as backup then John Terry for example, next to Smalling, sign one really talented centre mid & Mourinho could make a competitive team out of the rest imo. Not a great football team, but a results team, baring in mind how many clubs usually go to pieces as soon as they see the shirts. It was enough for Ferguson to retire with a title against vastly superior teams (such as us) They will be able to offload their shite for twice what we would get, plus a load of the shit kids they have used, as they have played Premier League football & the rag bullshit factor plus all the ex rag managers, lovers, etc will help.

It will be very difficult for them to ever become the 'glamour' team ahead of clubs like City I think, but imo it's easy enough for them to become competitive. But only 'if' they get the right manager & he gets the balance right.

Big call coming up. Get it wrong & they could become Liverpool.

 

[Pam]

I bet the Red Scouse were behaving this exact same way when they started to slide. There was no internet back then, though, to pick up on it. Poor Raggies have not been so fortunate.

 

[Machiavelli]

Our favorite portly rag -- Mr. Flying Pig -- is finally all tuckered out from screaming, so his post-match take is pretty boring.

Fortunately, we have a replacement who has "officially snapped" . . .

What is it with all these wankers on YouTube doing football punditry videos as if they're real sport journalists and anyone gives a fuck what they say (usually what they've heard on TV or read in the press)?

 

[Sunny Coast Blue]

Its an oldie but so much is still applicable... the united way...

Choose United. Choose 7 failed attempts at the European Cup. Choose to be knocked out of Europe 5 times in 5 seasons. Choose to waste countless millions. Choose to support a team from a city you have never been to. Choose whining. Choose to wear shit grey shirts and then blame them when Southampton stuff you. Choose to release Cantona because he’s the only one who realises how shit Cole is. Choose cheating. Choose not to condemn your player when he’s been convicted of assault. Choose to spend your career in the reserves because the money’s good. Choose a psychopathic Irishman as your captain and call him a gifted visionary. Choose to waste 7 million on Cole. Choose the arrogance to field your reserve team then complain about the consequences. Choose a racist Albino with pink eyes and a red nose as your goalkeeper. Choose not to be liked by anyone and pretend not to care. Choose your own referee and linesmen-except in Europe. Choose a Norwegian paperboy as your top goalscorer. Choose your club before your country. Choose to have the biggest most expensive squad in British football then complain about injuries. Choose Wales before England. Choose Paul Parker. Choose to be arse-licked by the media and accuse them of being Anti-United. Choose to forget 1969-1993 ever existed. Choose to change the team you support every season. Choose to shield your players from TV interviews until they can read and write. Choose a sour-faced scot as your manager. Choose to change your kit 6 times a season. Choose to be snubbed by every decent player around the world then pretend you didn’t want them anyway. Choose self-deception and delusions of Grandeur. Choose your best player ever an incoherent, wife-beating, alcoholic Irishman. Choose to poach your ‘impressive youth policy’ from other clubs. Choose to sign a world-class centre forward beginning with SH and pretend not to care when you get Sheringham instead of Shearer. Choose to go for the triple and end up with F*** All. Choose embarrassment. CHOOSE MAN. UNITED!

Choose another butcher for fresh meat, choose to use the urinal rather than the cubicle, choose the ticket office not the ticket tout and choose another house for those poor cunts that you burned when they chose your shit club ahead of Choose Life. U are Man Ure and a parody of choice, remember 58 by all means but remember the survivors, we do, you don't, it was your choice, CUNTS!

 

[waspish]

They are going back to how they were as a club before Baconchops shite with the occasional cup run and win.

 

[Citizen of Legoland]

Have they arranged the open top bus parade yet, in recognition of the crucial away goal, or are they waiting on the outcome of the Shrewsbury game first? Tempting fate and all that.

 

[Pam]

Choose another butcher for fresh meat, choose to use the urinal rather than the cubicle, choose the ticket office not the ticket tout and choose another house for those poor cunts that you burned when they chose your shit club ahead of Choose Life. U are Man Ure and a parody of choice, remember 58 by all means but remember the survivors, we do, you don't, it was your choice, CUNTS!

Choose to sell your club to a deranged family of garden gnomes. Choose debt. Choose bankruptcy (both moral and financial). Choose delusional grandiosity and hubris. Choose to live in 1999 forever. Choose to be second in your own (alleged) city. Choose eternal scummery and snivelling coyote-ism. Choose the eye gouger and choose to pretend that this alone will do the trick. Choose to be frauds from Trafford. Choose to pretend that you've done a head count of the world's population and pretend to have counted 3.2 billion fans. Choose Lou Macari and Paddy Crerand and Bobby fucking Charlton.Choose the Law of Murphy

 

[gordondaviesmoustache]

Ironically, last night's shambles somehow serves only to glorify United by comparison. Henry Winter is going on an on about how a "Great club" with a "great tradition", an "institution" with a "glorious history" is being betrayed by LvG and his crew, in front of greats like Charlton and Giggs.

Their past achievements have somehow been magnified into an earthly paradise of non-stop heroism, genius and all-round lovable, untarnished perfection. A world that never was.

Did he mention anything about dodgy meat and toilet cubicles?

 

[babyape]

Chuck a big cf in there, & maybe sign another striker as backup then John Terry for example, next to Smalling, sign one really talented centre mid & Mourinho could make a competitive team out of the rest imo. Not a great football team, but a results team, baring in mind how many clubs usually go to pieces as soon as they see the shirts. It was enough for Ferguson to retire with a title against vastly superior teams (such as us) They will be able to offload their shite for twice what we would get, plus a load of the shit kids they have used, as they have played Premier League football & the rag bullshit factor plus all the ex rag managers, lovers, etc will help.

It will be very difficult for them to ever become the 'glamour' team ahead of clubs like City I think, but imo it's easy enough for them to become competitive. But only 'if' they get the right manager & he gets the balance right.

Big call coming up. Get it wrong & they could become Liverpool.

I agree, and sadly i think Jose will be able to make them into a difficult team to beat, and return the 'fear' factor they once had. They do have some good players, who are playing way below standard right now. And he'll be able to attract better than what TT or Briggs ever could...

I was also told the other day on pretty good authority that Jose was pretty much a done deal and he will be there next season. I hope not, but doesn't sound good.... I know his stock is low right now, but of what's available, he's not a bad shout for a short term fix....

 

[Malty]

What is it with all these wankers on YouTube doing football punditry videos as if they're real sport journalists and anyone gives a fuck what they say (usually what they've heard on TV or read in the press)?

True Geordie's Fault

 

[BigOscar]

Chuck a big cf in there, & maybe sign another striker as backup then John Terry for example, next to Smalling, sign one really talented centre mid & Mourinho could make a competitive team out of the rest imo. Not a great football team, but a results team, baring in mind how many clubs usually go to pieces as soon as they see the shirts. It was enough for Ferguson to retire with a title against vastly superior teams (such as us) They will be able to offload their shite for twice what we would get, plus a load of the shit kids they have used, as they have played Premier League football & the rag bullshit factor plus all the ex rag managers, lovers, etc will help.

It will be very difficult for them to ever become the 'glamour' team ahead of clubs like City I think, but imo it's easy enough for them to become competitive. But only 'if' they get the right manager & he gets the balance right.

Big call coming up. Get it wrong & they could become Liverpool.

I think they'd need at least 6 or 7 first team players coming in to make a solid Mourinho team, they really don't have many at all at the moment. Fellaini and Schneiderlein would probably stay, but the rest of the midfield would go. The shit collection of failed wingers they play at RB would all be fucked off in favour of a solid blocker. Smalling would need a partner as you say, maybe even another CB as well as Rojo and Jones are both wank and unreliable (although maybe Jones would be used as the defensive RB?). Martial would probably be used as a winger, but they'd need another one to play on the other side, as I can't imagine Mourinho wanting Mata or Depay. I don't know, to me it looks like they only have a handful of players he'd actually know what to do with.

The fun bit would be if Mourinho tried to reinvent himself to try and play "the United way", or whatever bollocks they try and sell, as that would be an absolute disaster.

 

[Malty]

It will be hilarious when Mourinho turns them into Chelsea this season.

Who do they turn to then? Whisky Nose to come out of retirement if he hasn't popped his clogs yet!?

Mourinho will only stay 3 years max so by the time he walks in the door they need succession planning. Isn't that what Giggs was supposed to be to Van Gaal? that went well.. they'll run out of managers sooner or later, especially the top ones because they are no longer a top club. Woodward is pimping the shit out of their legacy/history in Asia (tainting it selling it to the highest bidder by milking it so much) but the reality is currently they are not that team and sooner or later the World will realise hey they ARE actually shite.

 

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

SSNakesTV is currently reporting that MANUre are saying that they have had no bids for Rooney. What's that all about?

 

[Neville Kneville]

They are going back to how they were as a club before Baconchops shite with the occasional cup run and win.

Loads of the cunts have rewritten history there as well. Stuff like 'can't remember a worse Utd team' etc etc. No they can't because they either didn't support Utd then or have airbrushed it out. I remember them round here, referring to the swamp as 'The Graveyard' when Ferguson was there.

When City put 5 past his hugely expensive rag team: 'Following this and an early season run of six defeats and two draws in eight games, a banner declaring "Three years of excuses and it's still crap ... ta-ra Fergie." was displayed at Old Trafford, and many journalists and supporters called for Ferguson to be sacked'.

I remember gaps in the crowd at a reduced capacity swamp, because they were shitting it we were going to turn them over again. They finished with 48 fucking points from 38 games. We finished above them the following season with a City team built mainly of kids & journeymen. Then the Prem & Champions League came along & they finally succeeded, bought the title & cashed in on the windfalls, & never looked back & Sky have kissed their arses ever since.

Most rags these days pretend that never happened & when Ferguson arrived they started winning stuff with 11 kids in glorious attacking bollocksland.

Cunts.

 

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

Loads of the cunts have rewritten history there as well. Stuff like 'can't remember a worse Utd team' etc etc. No they can't because they either didn't support Utd then or have airbrushed it out. I remember them round here, referring to the swamp as 'The Graveyard' when Ferguson was there.

When City put 5 past his hugely expensive rag team: 'Following this and an early season run of six defeats and two draws in eight games, a banner declaring "Three years of excuses and it's still crap ... ta-ra Fergie." was displayed at Old Trafford, and many journalists and supporters called for Ferguson to be sacked'.

I remember gaps in the crowd at a reduced capacity swamp, because they were shitting it we were going to turn them over again. They finished with 48 fucking points from 38 games. We finished above them the following season with a City team built mainly of kids & journeymen. Then the Prem & Champions League came along & they finally succeeded, bought the title & cashed in on the windfalls, & never looked back & Sky have kissed their arses ever since.

Most rags these days pretend that never happened & when Ferguson arrived they started winning stuff with 11 kids in glorious attacking bollocksland.

Cunts.

I remember Wilf McGuiness's team. Made Pee-arse's teams look world class.