United thread 2019/20

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Oh my f'kin sides...

Hi Kylian, my names Ole and I don't know the Fcuk how I've not been rumbled yet!

Never mind that though , Eddy 2 planks has just signed up the biggest widget manufacturer in Asia and we've made PSG an offer they can't refuse hence your here.

What do you think of the stadium then?

Oh the leaking roof, yeah, only happens when it rains..

Never mind that, let me introduce you to your new potential strike partners..

This is Mason Greenwood, then there's Rashy, you know Martial from France right? He scored for us once.

What's that Kylian, who supplies the forwards from midfield, well there's Mctommmminnny, Piranha and Fred not forgetting Static and the Dabber when he can be arsed which is not too often to be honest.

What's that Kylian you thought our shirts were blue?

Where's Pep, Raheem, Sergio, Kevin, Eric, Rodri, David, bernardo?

Grab him don't let him leave, get the pisscan, the ticket tout and Mick Hucknall here quick to tell him about our history..

Ffs Kylian I scored in a final once!!

Don't go, don't go, PLEASE DON'T GO!!!
He would sign provided he got an autograph from Eamonn Holmes
 
He would sign provided he got an autograph from Eamonn Holmes

There's always a deal clincher and if he could negotiate a signed cricket shirt off Ronnie (I was there when Keane crippled Haaland - lying bastard! ) Irani, we'd miss out on this signing!!

Fcuk me Ole's building a dynasty there!
 
There's always a deal clincher and if he could negotiate a signed cricket shirt off Ronnie (I was there when Keane crippled Haaland - lying bastard! ) Irani, we'd miss out on this signing!!

Fcuk me Ole's building a dynasty there!

You mean Ronnie "My dad's been season ticket holder at United since 7 years before he ever set foot in the UK" Irani?
 
Who is Brandon Williams apart from the next big thing as per usual after a shit Rags game?

Do they do a lucky dip on which player they will big up each week?
 
Who is Brandon Williams apart from the next big thing as per usual after a shit Rags game?

Do they do a lucky dip on which player they will big up each week?

I’m sure they just do it to maintain the statistic they are pathetically so proud of of having a squad with at least 1 ‘home grown’ player in since WW2 or whenever it started

That stat doesn’t really stand up to much. I’d suggest all teams had several up until late 90s/early 2000s. They also go lucky with Neville, Beckham etc and also had Giggs who didn’t retire until relatively recently and the benches got bigger so could accommodate Evans, O’Shea etc to maintain Ferguson’s power/fear base

Also, they’d swap everyone of the ‘kids’ now for a decent team
 
Sickening Mirror back page about Ole's brave youngsters. Christ they were lucky to win 1 nil due to the officials and had 1 shot on target, the penalty against a poor team plus their starting 11 cost around 250 million.
 
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