United Thread - 2023/24

[Bluewonder]

Just been on rag cafe. Where on earth has this idea that somehow we are paying players salaries off the books come from. How do they think we are doing this?

This is a classic example of how most football fans are imbeciles.

If City are paying everyone off the books, how do those rags know?

 

[bluenova]

Just been on rag cafe. Where on earth has this idea that somehow we are paying players salaries off the books come from. How do they think we are doing this?

I was in a taxi recently, and the driver was telling me how, someone who had a kid with one of our players (about ten years ago), was given child support in cash.

This apparently proves that Haaland is getting a million pound salary, and most of it is paid cash, off the books.

There was also some conspiracy about Andy Burnham and traffic too, but I'd tuned out by then.

 

[Norman kneejerk]

According to rag cafe we have been using drugs, bribing judges at CAS, bribing UEFA officials, fiddling all our sponsorships, and bribing referees. They are fixated on us but while they are doing this we have overtaken them on and off the pitch.

A lot of them are desperately insecure and most of that is supported by hardwiring that they are better than city. They just can't process the truth, it simply has to be cheating as they see it. They cannot function in reality.

 

[citizen_maine]

This is a classic example of how most football fans are imbeciles.

If City are paying everyone off the books, how do those rags know?

It's the only logical explanation

 

[KentBlue]

Yes, it's not like bunging a doorman an extra fifty quid in a brown envelope, is it?

For the guys we are talking about it would need to be 100k a week to make it worthwhile. Maybe more. And it would have to be in cash, because any form of cheque or bank transfer would leave traces that can be detected by, among others, HMRC.

So this would involve obtaining around a million a week in cash, splitting it between the players (a suitcase each perhaps?) and them taking it away in their cars. I mean, no one would notice, would they? Who does the actual paying out? Khaldoon? Because if it's the equivalent of a wages clerk, that's an obvious security risk. A huge temptation to talk to someone about it.

Then the player gets his £100k home. What does he do with it? It can't be taken down to the bank, as again, the transaction w with a bit of drug dealing omn the sideould show. Anyone who pays in huge amounts of cash into a bank at regular intervals had better have a good explanation because someone is going to be asking questions. Heard of the Money Laundering Regulations?

Spend it? 100k a week? Really? You can't even put it on at Belle Vue Dogs these days. Shove it in a cupboard and leave it?

The sheer impracticality is obvious. What happens when someone leaves? Why would Jesus, for example, move to Arsenal and lose his £100k a week in readies? That's without thinking of the obvious legal issues.

I think, as a club, we should come clean and admit everything. Khaldoon goes out at night mugging OAP's in order to pay our players. Pep helps out with a bit of drug-dealing, and all the senior officials at PGMOL are actually season ticket holders at City and have been lifelong supporters all their lives.

Is that ok, raggies? A confession? You sad, lonely, miserable, pathetic little losers, you. Enjoy being the Glazers' bitches...forever.

 

[horlock_was_super]

Yes, it's not like bunging a doorman an extra fifty quid in a brown envelope, is it?

For the guys we are talking about it would need to be 100k a week to make it worthwhile. Maybe more. And it would have to be in cash, because any form of cheque or bank transfer would leave traces that can be detected by, among others, HMRC.

So this would involve obtaining around a million a week in cash, splitting it between the players (a suitcase each perhaps?) and them taking it away in their cars. I mean, no one would notice, would they? Who does the actual paying out? Khaldoon? Because if it's the equivalent of a wages clerk, that's an obvious security risk. A huge temptation to talk to someone about it.

Then the player gets his £100k home. What does he do with it? It can't be taken down to the bank, as again, the transaction would show. Anyone who pays in huge amounts of cash into a bank at regular intervals had better have a good explanation because someone is going to be asking questions. Heard of the Money Laundering Regulations?

Spend it? 100k a week? Really? You can't even put it on at Belle Vue Dogs these days. Shove it in a cupboard and leave it?

The sheer impracticality is obvious. What happens when someone leaves? Why would Jesus, for example, move to Arsenal and lose his £100k a week in readies? That's without thinking of the obvious legal issues.

I hope none of their knuckle dragging fuckwits reads this!
Fancy using fancy words and logic.
Poor show old chap you’ll burst their bubble.
It’s the conspiracy theories that keeps them from going completely gaga.

 

[havefaith]

Fu*k em, a new record turnover of 7,8,900,000 million should give them plenty to ponder.
We're never going to be given any credit whilst the press agenda is what it is.

 

[horlock_was_super]

I was in a taxi recently, and the driver was telling me how, someone who had a kid with one of our players (about ten years ago), was given child support in cash.

This apparently proves that Haaland is getting a million pound salary, and most of it is paid cash, off the books.

There was also some conspiracy about Andy Burnham and traffic too, but I'd tuned out by then.

Not too far fetched mate. That gobshite Chris Sutton got a girl pregnant whilst he was at Norwich. The carrot crunchers got well stitched up because even after he’d left they were still paying for the child right up until she reached 18!

 

[kurious oranj]

Scum, sub-human scum

 

[bluenova]

Not too far fetched mate. That gobshite Chris Sutton got a girl pregnant whilst he was at Norwich. The carrot crunchers got well stitched up because even after he’d left they were still paying for the child right up until she reached 18!

That wasn't the far fetched bit :)