Spot on to be honest. Honestly, watching players and managers go to United is like watching talented actors sign up for a film directed by Michael Bay, they arrive with potential, but by the end it’s all explosions, no plot, and you’re wondering how on earth they forgot how to kick a ball, let alone act.
United isn’t a football club anymore, it’s an overpriced theme park. The ride names say it all: "The Theatre of Dreams".
The media still try to flog us the same tired fairy tale: “This time it’s different.” Yeah, and I’m winning Love Island next summer. The only thing different about United is the sponsor on their sleeve!
Their fans genuinely believe they’re “too big to fail,” but really, they’re just too profitable to change. Like you said - it’s the corporate equivalent of Big Tobacco. Only instead of selling addiction in a box, they’re selling trauma in a shirt. And their supporters will keep buying the replica kits, mugs, lampshades, and probably branded toilet roll to wipe away the tears after another Europa League night in Kazakhstan.
The best bit? When these players escape Old Trafford, it’s like watching someone leave a toxic relationship. Suddenly they’re smiling again, playing freely, rediscovering themselves as players. Just got to look at Rashford's recent interview.
United fans will keep queuing up though. It’s like they’re paying £90 a shirt to cosplay as title contenders. Meanwhile, the Glazers are sat in Florida, lighting cigars with season ticket renewals.
Victims of their own success? Absolutely. It’s like they peaked in the 90s and early 00's, forgot the world moved on, and now they’re basically the Nokia 3310 of Football Clubs. Durable brand, still nostalgic to some, but ultimately useless in the modern game.
But, at some point I do expect them to come back. Maybe not this decade, but they're spending billions and billions. Let's just hope they combust as a football club with overloaded debt.
