Viz-stylee Top Tips for Wembley

[Kakhaber Tskhadadze K.O.T.A.]

hmmmmm...... recurring theme here

If you have a ticket in the Manchester United end, simply wear a large penis on your head to ensure you blend in.

If you have a ticket for the united end, strap a large dildo to your forehead to blend in.

 

[Didsbury Dave]

If you have a ticket for the united end, strap a large dildo to your forehead to blend in.

If you wish to make a funny joke about Wembley, check the thread to see someone else hasn't already come up with it.

 

[i went to rotherham]

Save money on expensive travel by walking. If you set off tomorrow (based on living in Manchester) and cover 40 miles per day - you'll easily get there in time.

Always assuming you are going in the right direction!

 

[BillyMC]

If you have a ticket for the united end, strap a large dildo to your forehead to blend in.

If you wish to make a funny joke about Wembley, check the thread to see someone else hasn't already come up with it.

The other suggestion was utilising a large penis, something which I don't possess unfortunately, with the dildo I can borrow from the Mrs.

 

[1_barry_conlon]

To replicate that 'Old Wembley' feeling simply get a portable telly,stand it 50yds away and get someone to piss up your leg whilst you squint at the ant like figures in the distance.

 

[Arthur '2 Sheds' Jackson]

Ribena Bottles Are An Excellent Way Of Disguising Red Wine To Nosey Police Outriders, Suspicious That Alcohol Is Being Consumed On The Bus !

 

[Impeccable]

In the case of getting lost trying to find the stadium - don't follow a rag - he may have just popped out to buy some jellied eels and is actually on his way home to watch the match on the telly

 

[BillyMC]

Possible double bubble for any City supporting burglar, you may want to consider selling your Wembley ticket for an extortionate amount and then see how many houses you can burgle in the Stockport area.

 

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

If you are unable to obtain a ticket for the game, replicate the Wembley catering experience at home by hanging around for 30 minutes then flushing half your wage down the toilet.

I'm relying on the Wembley catering experience to provide my tea (Dinner, if yer from darn sarf). If I get half a ton from Yorkshire Bank, do blues think that might be enough, or should I go for the full ton? Summat like a pie, chips and coffee. I think the proggies are twelve quid a throw, so, am I near the mark for comestibles or way off beam?

 

[DickieDavisEyes]

Without a ticket ? no money to buy a state of the art 3D television set ?

Fear not, simply buy a box of roses/quality street and place an empty wrapper over each eye (folk who wear glasses may want to blu tac the said wrappers over the lenses so hands are free to scratch bollocks, throw things at the tv), then just sit back and relax in your own armchair whilst feeling like you are actually there