What’s Wrong With Your Body? (help and advice)

[StrangewaysHereWeCome]

I've got a snapping scapula, meralgia paraesthetica and and uneven poise due to a car crash many years ago. One ears lower than the other after the surgeon sewn it back on wrong. One eyes fucked because a spent firework fell out of the night sky into my face. My short term memory isn't too clever, think I'm going to end up with EOD.
I couldn't get it up last time I went to have a shag I wasn't pissed.
Apart from that though, I'm alright!

 

[Fat Larrys Band]

Diabetes 2 is slowly killing my internals
Modern life is/has scrambling/ed my brain!

I had type 2,my nagging partner stopped me from eating chocolate and counted my calories.
All okay now.

 

[quincunx]

i have a painful lump on the central knuckle of both my little fingers.
my physio says it's calcium deposits because i eat too much french cheese.

 

[Johnny Mars Bar]

FOCs.