xgorton
Well-Known Member
Mary was always in Labour,infact Harold her husband was prime minister.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
'And the archangel Gabriel appeared unto Joseph, warning him of the tyranny of Herod; that he must take Mary and the infant, Jesus, and flee to Egypt.'
'Fuck that,' Joseph solemnly replied. 'Take her yourself. You got her pregnant!'
Boom! Boom! Ya can't beat a bit o' that old time Catholic humour!
Serious question, though. If Joseph was a carpenter, why did Mary have to jockey an ass all the way to Bethlehem? He couldn't fashion together some class of a cart for his pregnant wife?
Always puzzled me, that detail.
PS:
Q. Who had the first motorbike?
A. Moses - 'you could hear the roar of his Triumph all over the desert.'
'Fuck that,' Joseph solemnly replied. 'Take her yourself. You got her pregnant!'
Boom! Boom! Ya can't beat a bit o' that old time Catholic humour!
Serious question, though. If Joseph was a carpenter, why did Mary have to jockey an ass all the way to Bethlehem? He couldn't fashion together some class of a cart for his pregnant wife?
Always puzzled me, that detail.
PS:
Q. Who had the first motorbike?
A. Moses - 'you could hear the roar of his Triumph all over the desert.'
BimboBob
Well-Known Member
BlueBearBoots said:aguero93:20 said:BlueBearBoots said:Didnt the Church just adopt 25th Dec to celebrate the birth of Jesus to try and wipe out the pagan festival of Yuletide?
See Easter and Spring Solstice as well. Pagan god of the wood is another (dies and is born again), some parts of the ancient Egyptian gods plus plenty more I'm not bothered listing. Christianity basically became a hodge podge of all the old European Religions as the Romans looked for religious control of their empire and adapted their pet faith to suit different tribes.
Esther was someones godess of new life, birth etc - hence Easter.
Yep the Christians just tried to stamp out all the pagan fun and make it religious :(
They did what all new religions did in them days...take over existing beliefs and celebration days to make the transition as seamless as possible seeing as 95% of the population couldn't read or write.
aguero93:20
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 21 Oct 2013
- Messages
- 90,262
- Location
- Hunting Cats.
- Team supported
- Some gobshites in day-glo green and black.
BimboBob said:BlueBearBoots said:aguero93:20 said:See Easter and Spring Solstice as well. Pagan god of the wood is another (dies and is born again), some parts of the ancient Egyptian gods plus plenty more I'm not bothered listing. Christianity basically became a hodge podge of all the old European Religions as the Romans looked for religious control of their empire and adapted their pet faith to suit different tribes.
Esther was someones godess of new life, birth etc - hence Easter.
Yep the Christians just tried to stamp out all the pagan fun and make it religious :(
They did what all new religions did in them days...take over existing beliefs and celebration days to make the transition as seamless as possible seeing as 95% of the population couldn't read or write.
While executing everyone that disagreed with the rebranding :), yep true enough, it's still done nowadays actually, the Nazis stole the swastika from a Hindu symbol for example.
BimboBob
Well-Known Member
aguero93:20 said:BimboBob said:BlueBearBoots said:Esther was someones godess of new life, birth etc - hence Easter.
Yep the Christians just tried to stamp out all the pagan fun and make it religious :(
They did what all new religions did in them days...take over existing beliefs and celebration days to make the transition as seamless as possible seeing as 95% of the population couldn't read or write.
While executing everyone that disagreed with the rebranding :), yep true enough, it's still done nowadays actually, the Nazis stole the swastika from a Hindu symbol for example.
And Tony Blair.
mcfcnorthstand
Well-Known Member
Knowing Jesus's luck, slap bang in the middle of Match Of The Day.
What I want to know is what happened to all that Gold, sod the smelly Frankincense and Mergh stuff the gold must have helped them set up in a nice three bed semi somewhere near Jerusalem.
Did Jesus' Mam and Dad Keep it all because he never had a penny, (otherwise he would have been in Armani instead of sack cloth.)
His Mam and dad must have been right tight bastards not giving him owt.
Did Jesus' Mam and Dad Keep it all because he never had a penny, (otherwise he would have been in Armani instead of sack cloth.)
His Mam and dad must have been right tight bastards not giving him owt.
Blue Mist said:What I want to know is what happened to all that Gold, sod the smelly Frankincense and Mergh stuff the gold must have helped them set up in a nice three bed semi somewhere near Jerusalem.
Did Jesus' Mam and Dad Keep it all because he never had a penny, (otherwise he would have been in Armani instead of sack cloth.)
His Mam and dad must have been right tight bastards not giving him owt.
The inn fined them the lot for a negative review on TripAdvisor.
East Level 2
Well-Known Member
Yeah; like an angel is going to go anywhere near Crawley.Henkeman said:chabal said:Imagine the conversation;
"Mum, I'm pregnant."
"You've been fucking that c**t Joseph haven't you. Your Dad will go ballistic. He hates that wood turning freak."
"No Mum, we haven't had full sex yet although he did finger me once and I gave him a hand shandy on the back of his mule."
"You've not had full sex yet you re pregnant? I wasn't born yesterday but your father is thick as pigshit. Tell him you were visited by an angel. The idiot might just fall for that."
"Thanks Mum"
Don't mock, girls in Crawley use this excuse all the time.