When was the last time you soiled yourself?

I once got caught short whilst walking on the Burren. Found a bush to deposit my volcanic refuse into and the swarm of flies around my arse will live with me forever
I once had a dodgy stomach walking in Kefalonia, up to the castle in Assos. I thought I'd get off the path and into a private gravel area. I dropped my kecks and bent over . There was an enormous explosion and then a dribble. My wife had given me some tissues to clean myself. Only when I stood up and looked behind me I noticed that the solid piece that was at the front of the anal exit, must have travelled a distance of some 8 foot. It was an incredible distance and I wondered it it was some kind of record ???
 
I once had a dodgy stomach walking in Kefalonia, up to the castle in Assos. I thought I'd get off the path and into a private gravel area. I dropped my kecks and bent over . There was an enormous explosion and then a dribble. My wife had given me some tissues to clean myself. Only when I stood up and looked behind me I noticed that the solid piece that was at the front of the anal exit, must have travelled a distance of some 8 foot. It was an incredible distance and I wondered it it was some kind of record ???
Very fitting that this happened when you were in Greece as I think that it should be the inspiration for a new Olympic event called: "Turd Shooting" where contestants bend over and shoot out the foetid torpedo and measure the distance traveled in the air.

Well done sir.
 
Very fitting that this happened when you were in Greece as I think that it should be the inspiration for a new Olympic event called: "Turd Shooting" where contestants bend over and shoot out the foetid torpedo and measure the distance traveled in the air.

Well done sir.
I was very proud of the effort and wondered if we should get our Carzy at home updated with a reinforced porcelain ...?
 
No follow through to report, but have been on the piss in Benidorm for 21 days. I have had a close do this morning. Must have farted the first dozen notes of La Marseillaise. Just another 3 weeks to go of this sesh. Full lift off is still there for the taking.
 
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