I once had a dodgy stomach walking in Kefalonia, up to the castle in Assos. I thought I'd get off the path and into a private gravel area. I dropped my kecks and bent over . There was an enormous explosion and then a dribble. My wife had given me some tissues to clean myself. Only when I stood up and looked behind me I noticed that the solid piece that was at the front of the anal exit, must have travelled a distance of some 8 foot. It was an incredible distance and I wondered it it was some kind of record ???
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When was the last time you soiled yourself?
- Thread starter bluemonday
- Start date
BongoBlue
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Very fitting that this happened when you were in Greece as I think that it should be the inspiration for a new Olympic event called: "Turd Shooting" where contestants bend over and shoot out the foetid torpedo and measure the distance traveled in the air.I once had a dodgy stomach walking in Kefalonia, up to the castle in Assos. I thought I'd get off the path and into a private gravel area. I dropped my kecks and bent over . There was an enormous explosion and then a dribble. My wife had given me some tissues to clean myself. Only when I stood up and looked behind me I noticed that the solid piece that was at the front of the anal exit, must have travelled a distance of some 8 foot. It was an incredible distance and I wondered it it was some kind of record ???
Well done sir.
I was very proud of the effort and wondered if we should get our Carzy at home updated with a reinforced porcelain ...?Very fitting that this happened when you were in Greece as I think that it should be the inspiration for a new Olympic event called: "Turd Shooting" where contestants bend over and shoot out the foetid torpedo and measure the distance traveled in the air.
Well done sir.
spacecadet
Well-Known Member
No follow through to report, but have been on the piss in Benidorm for 21 days. I have had a close do this morning. Must have farted the first dozen notes of La Marseillaise. Just another 3 weeks to go of this sesh. Full lift off is still there for the taking.
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6 weeks in total? Must have had a couple of full follow throughs in that timeframe.No follow through to report, but have been on the piss in Benidorm for 21 days. I have had a close do this morning. Must have farted the first dozen notes of La Marseillaise. Just another 3 weeks to go of this sesh. Full lift off is still there for the taking.
MadchesterCity
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Still one of the funniest storiesAfter a 12 hour drinking session we ended up at a mates house for 4am scotch.I was the last to leave.As i made my way down the street everything started to rumble.I was about 40 foot from his front door but i knew i wouldn't have enough time.
Over the road was an alleyway so i made for it.As i got there my arse gave up.Quickly i started to pull clothing off but i wasn't quick enough.It was everywhere.My trousers,pants and socks(i'd taken the shoes off) were flung down the alley as my arse carried on depositing bum water.Suddenly a security light came on.
It wasn't an alley.It was someones drive entrance.It was quite weird with all this liquid poo coming out of what felt like every hole to see a face staring at me from behind a upper floor window.
Soon it stopped and i then had the messy job of putting my trousers back on.I then rang the missus and asked her to pick me up(i was a good 6 miles from home)and to bring loads of bin bags for me to sit on.
When i told my mate the next day he didn't believe me so he went to check the house over the road and saw a man steam cleaning his garden/driveway walls.
BrianW
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Just made it, t'other day. Was doing a moderately small shop in Morrisons when the irresistible urge came over me. Parked the trolley up with half my shopping next to the bananas and made a swift run for the bogs.
By the grace of God, a cubicle was empty. I only just made it as a sort of warm oxo emerged from my arse. No solid whatever. What brought it on I have no idea, but it was damned lucky I was where I was. Anywhere else but home I don't know what I'd have done.
By the grace of God, a cubicle was empty. I only just made it as a sort of warm oxo emerged from my arse. No solid whatever. What brought it on I have no idea, but it was damned lucky I was where I was. Anywhere else but home I don't know what I'd have done.
Mancity1980
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Absolutely, I can’t read it out loud to anyone without laughing!Still one of the funniest stories