Your Own Football Playing Day Stories.

[Sparkys-Army]

Played for Manchester rivers twice on a Sunday at hough end! Haha! We got beat 8-1 then 14-0. Our manager was cheering because the season before they beat us 17-0. Got ankle stamped and then went to shef u away in the cup when the baloons were on the pitch. Had a broken ankle but I didn't know. Next day, straight to hope.

My best was my first day of my 2nd high school. The cocky of the school passed it to me just inside our half and I went to pass a long ball to someone upfront. I shit you not...this was from behind me centre circle. The wind picked it up, it flew across the other half, the school keeper dived for it, it hit the cross bar and in. Everytime they played after that, I said I had twisted my ankle and the doctor says I can never play again. I was a lying shit. I didn't want them to know I am utter shiiiite.

Haha, gotta love those jammy goals which make you look class!

Sadly, my football days were over at just 15! I had this rare hip disease which left me having surgery and now i'm left with a shorter left leg. The worse thing is seeing other mates play football around me, does my head in. *pulls out a violin* Sorry about the down mood haha. On a brighter note, when i was first injured, i had a massive limp and used 2 crutches. One day, our school had a 5-a-side tournament and my mates all had a team which were predicted to win. Funny enough, i could still play goal keeper and this team of useless 2 left footed lads needed one. Played in goal and we lost only 1-0 and i was like a cat in that goal. All the ladies were loving it. One game i went upfront for the last 10 minute, bear in mind i can't sprint or jog but do a wierd leap or walk and i scored 2 goals!

ahhh, good times. :)

 

[GazM]

Got sent off once after running the length of the pitch and call the ref a “cheating c*nt”.
Didn’t bother waiting for his response...nice early shower.
Next week the local newspaper’s sports section included a list of players who had been sent off / banned and to my parents horror it read...
“and ‘x’ was sent off for foul & abusive language towards an official – banned for 4 matches”..had some explaining to do as this was totally out of character.
Mind you he was a cheating c&*^!

 

[Esteban de la Sexface]

Got sent off last season for punching a guy in the stones, the prick was acting the hard man all game and was giving it out to some of our younger smaller lads.. I'm only small myself and this lad was about 6 5 but skinny as fuck.. so after a bit of argy bargy he twatted me so I punched him right in the ballbag and dropped him like a tonne of shit. Anyways, both sent off and I had to go to a disciplinary hearing at Hq on the Wednesday night,

I was called in, a panel of three sitting at a table, very intimidating.

So they read out the referees report, "player X punched Esteban in the head and Esteban retaliated, punching player X in the nether regions"

So the first lad asks me, "Why did you punch him in the nether regions"? I replied, cos I couldn't reach the fuckers head.. the other two panelists busted themselves laughing and in between breaths I was told I had a one match ban, a 50 quid fine for the club and not to do it again

 

[Cellarite]

playing for eccles college at centre half against a scouse college, we were pushing for an equaliser in the last minute. everyone had gone up for a corner except me and the keeper, but the dippers had left two forward. they broke from the corner and were heading for our area. i ran at the one with the ball as he entered the area and took off in a two footed long jump sort of a tackle. half way through the air, i realised i wasn't going to reach him so landed on my knees and vaulted myself forward. as i made contact with his midrift, i flipped my arms up and he flew up and over my shoulders, crashing to the floor behind me. i was sent off and they scored the pengy anyway.

I didn't know you were Richard Dunne.

no, i had more re-fuelling problems than dunney.

 

[ali benarbia's studs]

I was glad that this 25 yard shinner from bb2.0 was caught on camera....

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3olccAkeYyA[/youtube]

nice goal tbf bb2 !

 

[DeanC]

Used to work with a kiwi called Harry. He told me a storey about when he went to watch his boy play at a local park. All the players went to get changed in the changing rooms and he waited at the side of the pitch on his own. Some fella comes along walking his dog which stops and has a shit in the middle if the pitch. Harry marched upto him and shouts at him to clear it up as kids are going to play football on it in a minute. The fella tells him to fuck off and rants that he has been walking his dog there for years. Harry asked him again to clear it up which again was refused. He then picked up the shit and slammed on the fellas chest and said your taking it with you know. The fella stood there for a second stunned before trotting off just as the kids came out to play. Harry stood there with steam coming off of his hand and walked off to the changing rooms to wash the shit off. The water supply was turned off in the changing rooms so he had to watch the game with a shitty hand.

 

[talkativesprout]

Bunch of lads used to meet up everysunday afternoon, from duky v audenshaw, played on the grammer school or the blocksages. we had in our(duky) net a lad, though probably clinically mad, was a demon between the sticks, athletic (in a dive 5 foot in the air land like a pile of shit and feel nothing kinda way.

well this one day a rocket of a shot from outside the box left us all gobsmacked and glued to the ground. Derrick the mad, took off covered all the goal with his feet off the ground, tipped it wide then clattered the goal posts head first.

His head split in a perfect right angle, with a flap of skin dropping down, bounced up off the floor and shouted goalkick. then collapsed.

phoned an ambulance and after insisting he went with them he said "just patch it up"
He played the second half looking like he had a turban.

 

[i kne albert davy]

Years ago played against Underwood Sports & social Hattersley got changed in club and left our stuff in there, came back after game covered in mud and shite only to find we had to get showered then get dressed amongst the old dears playing chuffin Bingo the embarrassment on a cold day.

 

[manimanc]

during the early nineties i was playing for my pub team the morning after the night before,with the night before being a orgy of booze and walking home listening to the birds singing at about 430 in the morning..

to cut a long story short i shot at what i thought was the goal which in fact turned out to be the right goalpost and cornerflag,thinking that was the net in my frazzled state i wheeled away thinking i just stuck one in the onion bag,running off with one hand in the air it suddenly dawned on me what had happened and looked a right a tit and got the piss well and truly taken out of me....

 

[HC-blue]

was around 13/14 when I took a defenders clearance in the face from no more that 2 metres which put me right on my arse and turned me temporarily blind, which was a very scary feeling. After I opened my eyes, I realised all I could see was blurred colours but I couldn't make anything out. I tried playing on as playing was a rare occurance for me (I normally watched from the subs bench) but I had no idea where I was or what I was doing so I dropped to the ground and asked to be subbed. 15 or so minutes later I could see again.