Billericay FC

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worsleyweb

Guest
These are a club in the lower leagues owned by a "colourful character" and what would appear to be the Epitome of Essex Chav. They are the southern Equivalent of Rushden and Diamonds and the ever classy Jamie Ohara has signed for them.

Google there owner Glen Tamplins wedding and it will tell you all you need to know about them. Some wider googling makes interesting reading. Particularly the pre-match rituals of the owner.

Anyway i am going to follow them this season and at odds of 1/10 to win the league having a player budget of 30k a week - i am hoping they don't win it!

Worth following this season simply for the cringe factor - just a heads up.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Isn't it spelt Billericay ? I used to live there - its chav central - does have a Wimpy though!
 
nmc said:
Isn't it spelt Billericay ? I used to live there - its chav central - does have a Wimpy though!
Click to expand...

I am sure it is spelt as you say! Just google this guys wedding - so funny.
 
Good evening I'm from essex
In case you couldn't tell
My given name is Dickie, I come from Billericay
And I'm doing very well....

The late great Ian Dury...Billericay Dickie.
 
Full lyrics for the discerning audience:

Good evening; I'm from Essex
In case you couldn't tell
My given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
And I'm doing very well

Had a love affair with Nina
In the back of my Cortina
A seasoned up hyena
Could not have been more obscener
She took me to the cleaners
And other misdemeanours
But I got right up between her
Rum and her Ribena

Well, you ask Joyce and Vicki
If candy-floss is sticky
I'm not a blinking thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And i'm doing very well

I bought a lot of brandy
When I was courting Sandy
Took eight to make her randy
And all I had was shandy
Another thing with Sandy
What often came in handy
Was passing her a 'Mandy'
She didn't half go bandy

So you ask Joyce and Vicki
If I ever took the mickey
I'm not a flipping thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well

I'd rendezvous with Janet
Quite near the Isle of Thanet
She looked more like a gannet
She wasn't half a prannet
Her mother tried to ban it
Her father helped me plan it
And when I captured Janet
She bruised her pomegranet

So you ask Joyce and Vicki
If i ever shaped up tricky
I'm not a blooming thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well

You should never hold a candle
If you don't know where it's been
The jackpot is in the handle
On a normal fruit machine

So you ask Joyce and Vicki
Who's their favourite brickie
I'm not a common thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well

I know a lovely old toe-rag
Obliging and noblesse
Kindly, charming shag
From Shoeburyness
My given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
I thought you'd never guess

So you ask Joyce and Vicki
A pair of squeaky chickies
I'm not a flaming thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well

Oh golly, oh gosh
Come and lie on the couch
With a nice bit of posh
From Burnham-on-Crouch
My given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
And I ain't a sloutch

So you ask Joyce and Vicki
About Billericay Dickie
I ain't an effin' thicky
You ask Joyce and Vicki
And I'm doing very well
 
Seriously get in this car crash!

Now bought Jermaine pennant. 1/10 on to win the league. Lost first game 1-0.

The nutcase manager / owner has painted the dressing room with lions and anyone who challenges him on twitter is offered out!!
 
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