Pulling A Sicky...Any genius ideas?

[jollycity]

In the 28 years I've worked for my employer, I've been off two or three days....... These young un's !!!

 

[bluetonium]

@topdogger: He'd miss a fair few bands if he didn't get there until Friday evening.

For Download, if you are driving it's possible, even advisable, to leave on Sunday night and don't drink all Sunday.

Monday morning is a nightmare, queues miles long just to get out and the place smells of 4 days worth of piss, sick and crap. Find a gap on Sunday afternoon when there are some below par bands on (BFMV and Linkin Park being two prime examples, shame they are headliners - I mean wtf is going on there?), nip back and pack up, then go straight after the last band on Sunday. Half your problem solved. Now you just have one day to figure out.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Neck a few depositories and when you start your shift a couple of days before, tell the gaffer you think you ate a dodgy kebab last night and you feel rough. Stomach pains , shaky, clammy etc..
Then after a hour or so when the depositories kick in, shit all over the gaff and ask to be excused.
Then take the week off and remember to stay away from eating any kebabs.(Karma etc..)

Always thought a depository was where the Federal gold reserve was kept
Where as a suppository is....you know the rest

 

[bluestevei]

this is so easy to get a couple of days off, have a few eggs and sausages for tea and then have a very hot curry on the thursday night and when you go in on the friday let rip with a good old fart, then run to toilets and when you get back, say you have the runs, they will tell you to go home.

 

[oneloveonecity]

"IF you need to be sick for something publicly, eat about half a cigarette. You'll get sweaty dizzy pale clammy and all around you'll look and feel very sick. In about 20 min after eating you'll agressively vomit everything you've eaten and expel the tobacco thats making you sick. A dramatic, but effective way to prove sickness" ...if you become very desperate ;)

 

[Conor Mcfc]

be very careful with the festival, somebody from my brother's work did the exact same thing and was caught and fired instantly.

 

[berger10]

Used all the excuses in the book, I just made sure I always had a sick note. A bad back or trapped nerve is always a good one, just don't get seen on TV like I did at the Kiev game haha!

 

[Gelsons Dad]

Get yourself a cucumber from northern Germany. You'll be off for quite some time ;-)

 

[Gavmcfc88]

Get yourself a cucumber from northern Germany. You'll be off for quite some time ;-)

Sure won't going to work then! Also miss the festival and possibly die so I'd give that a miss mate!

 

[ChesterRdBlue]

Just piss your pants at your desk and weep a little, they'll have no choice but to send you home for a little rest. Don't answer your phone all weekend and go back in Tuesday as bright as a button, quick back to work explaining you don't know what happened but are better now and would like to forget all about it.