Things your missus does that drive you to despair

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by citykev28, 4 Jul 2017.

  1. Plays By Sense Of Smell

    Plays By Sense Of Smell

    Joined:
    4 Sep 2011
    Gggaaaahhhhhh!!! I share your pain. And so much milk! I'm sure it affects the ability of the teabag to leach tea.
     
  2. City_Sean

    City_Sean

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    Watching it, Drinking it in
    Whenever I'm watching something on TV decides to play something off her phone/laptop that's ridiculously loud. Gets right on my nerves!
     
  3. Barcon

    Barcon

    Joined:
    21 Nov 2009
    Location:
    Toronto via Failsworth
    It most certainly does. It drastically alters the effects of an otherwise perfectly good semi permeable membrane.

    Cleaning. Does it ever fucking end? She's up there right now, stomping around with the vacuum while I'm sitting in the basement trying to enjoy a cold beer and play with the cat.
     
  4. She was going out tonight at half seven. I said "I'll drop you off after the match."

    82 minutes in, she's sat on the arm of the couch with her coat on, saying she's sweating and asking if I'll be long.

    I said after the match flower. If the linesman is struck down by a meteor and the game is halted for 4 hours, I'm not taking you until after the match.
     
  5. 5.05, we've finished work, paid the P/Ters, locked up, kick off in about 20 minutes with a bit of fucking about of the laptop.

    " Can we just get a pint of milk on the way in"
    " Better be quick sweety......"
    "Why......"
    "Dont ask stupid questions"

    I'm outside the co op in the van, engine running, looking like a blag in the making.....

    5.25
    "What the fuck kept you...."
    "Marie wanted a chat..............."

    Just made it in the door...

    " Are you taking the dogs out............."



    " FUCK OFF "


    She'd be late for her own funeral. ( Dont ask)
     
  6. HellYeah

    HellYeah

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    Male
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    Glass Blowers Assistant
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    Here and there
    Puts water in the kettle, turns on the kettle. Goes and does something, no doubt, unbelievably important.
    Kettle boils and then turns itself off.

    I, fed up of waiting, go into the kitchen. Get cups out of the cupboard put tea, coffee, sugar in. Turn on kettle and, here's the radical bit, wait for the kettle to boil AND use the hot water to make a drink.

    Wife turns up later to a now cold drink of coffee and moans it's cold and has to make another one
     
  7. Magicpole

    Magicpole

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    Scotland
    Selfish bastard there. How can you enjoy a beer with a fucking vacuum cleaner blaring?

    Bang on about tea as well lads. I once went out with a woman who did that to her own tea and I thought.

    This will never fucking last.
     
  8. Magicpole

    Magicpole

    Joined:
    30 Sep 2016
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    Male
    Occupation:
    Low Intelligence Officer
    Location:
    Scotland
    I got a similar a few years back.

    You've seen most of it.

    I just looked at her and thought.
    Who the fuck are you?

    Needless to say I didn't do what she wanted either.
     
  9. dronefromsector7G

    dronefromsector7G

    Joined:
    1 Jul 2015
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    Standing on a fine line, between this and that
    Sneakily adding the biggest chore at the end before she goes to work today.

    'Can you buy ingredients for chilli?'
    'And clean the cat vomit near the bathroom?'

    Me thinking that's it and I can enjoy the whole day.
    'Oh and Hoover the whole house'
     
  10. Uncle Wally One Ball

    Uncle Wally One Ball

    Joined:
    3 Jan 2009
    Occupation:
    shark fisherman
    Location:
    Orca
    When I was married to that horrible bastard who lived in my house, we were going out one evening. She turned on all the fancy lights under the cupboards in the kitchen and little lamps in obscure places all round the house, on the way out of the door. What are you doing that for, we are going out? Because it looks nice when we come home, she said.
    I think my jaw dropped in amazement. Well you stay in the car for a minute when we get back and Ill nip in and turn all the fuckers on for you first.
     

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