United Thread - 2023/24

[TinFoilHat]

Mainoo nothing special as well.

Just another cheating rag bastard.

 

[RodneyRodney]

Relegation fodder these lot.
You take out their late goals and they are at least 12 points worse off, you're looking at them being just above Bournemouth on 32 pts.

Stuffy twats getting Bent refs giving them their last minute goals papers over the cracks bigtime

 

[117 blue]

Obviously Scruffy Jim is a very successful business man, but I think the Glazers have had him over on this deal. He’s paid about £1.3 billion for 25% of the rags but has assumed all the responsibility for running the football side of the club. So the Glazers cop for a sizeable amount of dosh but now are blameless if the football side doesn’t improve massively pretty quickly, as the United sheep will be demanding he knocks us off our perch sooner rather than later. Sounds like a great deal from the yanks point of view, or am I missing something?

 

[Bald fraud]

oi I had a Austin allegro

Vanden plas?

 

[BertTrautmann'sParachute]

Hairdos in the away end : View attachment 109031

Obviously, hairstyles inspired by Bobby Charlton.

 

[East Level 2]

Well I believe it was dear old bill who coined the phrase 'Tick Tock' on here and some on here scoffed.

Well they've now fully Ticked and Tocked.

The clock will not have tocked fully until they are relegated. Something that would be feasible if certain clubs didn't keep collapsing when facing them. Yes Wolves and Villa amongst others, I'm referring to you twats.

 

[Kinkybyname]

Vanden plas?

Ten Hag signing him tomorrow for just £89m

 

[malg]

Has anyone seen their end to the season?

Everton, Brentford, Chelsea, Liverpool, Bournemouth, Newcastle, Burnely, Palace, Arsenal, Brighton.


Hard to see them beating Liverpool, Newcastle, Arsenal & Brighton and most of the others fall into that category of tricky midtable fixture. Brentford, Bournemouth, Palace are all games where I don't think anyone would be surprised if they dropped points. Even Chelsea are improving, still very hit and miss, but we know better than anyone that on a good day they're a pain.

I think they'll drop down the table now and settle about 8th or 9th.

Been hearing this year in year out. They'll get results and will finish 5th, unless Villa implode then it might be 4th.

 

[East Level 2]

According to the media the rags should be winning lots of trophies. - They won loads under the pisscan of course but what about their earlier years?
They won three pots before WW1.
They won nowt in the 1920s.
They won promotion in the 1930s.
They won an FA Cup in the 1940s.
They won three league titles in the 1950s.
They won the two league titles, the FAC and European Cup in the 1960s.
They won promotion and the FA Cup in the 1970s.
They won two FA Cups in the 80s.
So in their first 88 years in the league they won 14 major trophies, roughly one every six seasons. I've ignored Charity Shields as I see the fixture as a glorified friendly, but chuck in their 9 shields pre pisscan and it's still only a pot every four seasons.
Fans of many teams would kill for a pot every four or six years but the media seem to believe the history of the rags is littered with trophies at the same rate as the GPC was winning them when that's clearly not the case.
The pisscan's trophy haul is the outlier, it's not the norm, unless you believe football started thirty-five years ago and ended ten years ago.

 

[Grassland Blue]

Ken Early: How have Manchester United come to accept such mediocrity?
For United, there was a quiet pride in only having lost 3-1. That’s where United are now – that least it wasn’t 6-1


Seldom has there been a derby game with so little doubt concerning the result. The only prematch speculation was about how big a mess Manchester City were going to make of Manchester United. In terms of the anticipated spectacle, you could only have confidently recommended the game to sadists, Man City supporters, fans of cringe comedy and other connoisseurs of morbidity.

In the end, the rubberneckers were disappointed, as both sides walked away feeling City’s 3-1 win was about par.

For City it was another three points, a 14th win in their last 16 unbeaten matches, another step on the road to the title defence they are all aiming for. It was not a game any of them are likely to mention to their grandchildren, except maybe Erling Haaland, who, in the first half, produced what will likely rank as the worst miss of his career.

For United, there was a certain quiet pride in only having lost 3-1. That’s where United are now – the “at least it wasn’t six” zone.

There had even been a brief interlude of insane hope in the early stages. Marcus Rashford’s brilliant goal eight minutes in had shocked City and seemed to rob them of their usual composure in the box.

But City had plenty of time to recover their poise, with Guardiola telling them to be “faster in the process, slower in the final third”. In the meantime, United never threatened to put them under any more pressure.


Before the game, Ten Hag had talked about the wide open space behind City’s high defensive line and it was clear that Plan A for United was to hit runners in that space. That created the first goal, when Andre Onana’s long clearance found Bruno Fernandes, who held it up brilliantly before teeing up Rashford.

But that, it turned out, was that. For United, the saddest parts of the game were those rare occasions when they moved as a team into City’s half with the ball. There was never any sense that they had any idea what to do next, and rather than going for another goal they seemed consumed by the fear – which ultimately proved well-founded – of the counterattack that would follow the inevitable loss of possession.

As Haaland’s miss demonstrated, City were far from their best, but unlike Liverpool, Crystal Palace, Chelsea and Tottenham, who all took advantage of City off-days to come away from the Etihad with points, United offered absolutely nothing. The two shots they managed were the fewest any side has had against City in a Premier League game this season.


How did it come to this? How have United come to accept such mediocrity? They turned up with eight players on the injury list but the starting team included at least eight of their strongest XI – all the first-teamers bar Lisandro Martinez, Luke Shaw and Rasmus Højlund. Maybe Harry Maguire would have started in advance of Raphael Varane, but few would argue that would have been an upgrade. Varane, with Onana, was United’s best player on the day.

The defeat ended a run of 143 Premier League games in which United had not lost after leading at half-time. The last time they lost after being ahead at half-time was the 5-3 defeat at Leicester City in the autumn of 2014. Jonny Evans played in that game too. That was his seventh season as a senior United player and when he was sold to West Brom in the summer of 2015 it seemed safe to assume it would be his last. His return to the United team a decade later shows how badly one of the richest clubs in the world has been mismanaged: a player they discarded a generation ago is the best reserve centre back they can currently afford.

Evans, to be fair, is doing a job as a stopgap – it’s safe to assume United’s new Ratcliffe-Brailsford-Ashworth brains trust isn’t building the long-term plan around him. Nor can they be expected to keep betting on Erik ten Hag, the coach who claimed earlier this season that he couldn’t bring the Ajax style to Manchester even after signing several of his old Ajax players at ruinous expense.

A more difficult question for them is: what about Rashford? Yesterday his outstanding goal helped keep things respectable, yet his overall performance showed why many United fans have lost patience with him.

He crumpled under a challenge from Kyle Walker at the start of the move that ended with Phil Foden scoring City’s equaliser. His angry reaction suggested he believed he had been fouled, but if there was a foul it looked on the homeopathic side and the video referees evidently felt it hadn’t met the threshold.


Last week Rashford had published another piece with The Players Tribune, rebuking the critics who, he suggested, were waiting to pounce whenever he – “a 26-year old lad” – had a “human moment”. (This was how he seemed to be characterising his recent adventure in Belfast where he went out on the town two nights in a row and then called in sick to training). He reassured fans that nobody could possibly love Manchester United more than he does and gave some examples of his love for the club.

This overwrought piece was missing the point. Rashford’s problem is that he is one of the best-paid players in the Premier League and yesterday he scored his sixth goal of the season. It doesn’t matter how much you love the club if it’s already March and you’ve only scored six goals. People are going to wonder if there might be someone out there who could score a few more.

Maybe the clinching argument for keeping Rashford around for now, despite his inconsistency, is that he still looks much better than the hapless Antony, who replaced him on 75 minutes. And even if none of the current crop are at United much longer, they’ve already done Jim Ratcliffe a big favour. Expectation levels at United are lower than anyone would have thought possible ten years ago. From here, the only way is up.

They've got further to faĺl I believe.