Joke thread

[BimboBob]

Who said the nuns can't be men?

Nuns women, monks men.

 

[aguero93:20]

Nuns women, monks men.

Racist ****.

 

[BimboBob]

Racist ****.

Harsh.

How the fuck am I a ****?

 

[kippax4ever]

Bernard Manning told this joke but a vampire jumped on the Nuns Morris Minor and he got told to get off my car you blood sucking ****.

Never heard that version mate,but still makes me laugh..

 

[HellYeah]

A couple of nuns walking through a park, guy jumps out in front of them and exposes himself. One of the nuns had a stroke but the other couldn't reach

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Got a new band. We play Highway To Hell and nothing else.

We're called OCDC

 

[Le Havre Oswald]

Have you tried the new sex position everyones talking about?

Its called yodel. You wait in all day and no one comes.

 

[The perfect fumble]

Not a joke, but funny nonetheless...

 

[jimharri]

The wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, two bottles of whisky and two loaves of bread.

"Are we expecting guests?" I asked.

"No," she replied.

"Then what's with all the bread?"

 

[tshirtman]

My mate was having a tattoo of an indian on his back

halfway through he said to the tattooist "don't forget his tomahawk"

The tattooist said "give me a chance mate I ain't finished his turban yet"