Joke thread

[aguero93:20]

Wonder what he was shagging, then?

Some nutcase swinger couple that lied so he'd let them do him up the wrong un.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Two blokes driving down a cobbled street. One says to the other "I've never come this way before"

Ahem............It's nuns. And they were riding bikes.

 

[BimboBob]

Ahem............It's nuns. And they were riding bikes.

If, in his head, it's men, rather than what's in my head, two nuns, wearing stockings, sussies and basques, both busty, likes the occasional dabble, then that's up to him. Don't oppress him.

 

[The Lightbowne Cowboy]

I thought there was already a thread on *nited???

 

[kippax4ever]

2 nuns driving around town,when a car full off young yobs pull up next to them at the lights.
giving tosser signs to them,Sister Mary says to Sister Ann,don,t they know were Nuns,lower your window down & show them your cross Sister.
Which she does & then yells,listen here you young pricks, now f,ck off or i,ll cut your balls off...

 

[talkativesprout]

2 nuns driving around town,when a car full off young yobs pull up next to them at the lights.
giving tosser signs to them,Sister Mary says to Sister Ann,don,t they know were Nuns,lower your window down & show them your cross Sister.
Which she does & then yells,listen here you young pricks, now f,ck off or i,ll cut your balls off...

Bernard Manning told this joke but a vampire jumped on the Nuns Morris Minor and he got told to get off my car you blood sucking ****.

 

[aguero93:20]

Ahem............It's nuns. And they were riding bikes.

If, in his head, it's men, rather than what's in my head, two nuns, wearing stockings, sussies and basques, both busty, likes the occasional dabble, then that's up to him. Don't oppress him.

Who said the nuns can't be men?

 

[bornblueegg]

Who said the nuns can't be men?

Came to that conversation late......

 

[aguero93:20]

Came to that conversation late......

Why what time was I scheduled to be there at?

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Who said the nuns can't be men?

For it is written in the scriptures adorned upon the urinal walls of the House of Kebab.

 

[BimboBob]

Who said the nuns can't be men?

Nuns women, monks men.

 

[aguero93:20]

Nuns women, monks men.

Racist ****.

 

[BimboBob]

Racist ****.

Harsh.

How the fuck am I a ****?

 

[kippax4ever]

Bernard Manning told this joke but a vampire jumped on the Nuns Morris Minor and he got told to get off my car you blood sucking ****.

Never heard that version mate,but still makes me laugh..

 

[HellYeah]

A couple of nuns walking through a park, guy jumps out in front of them and exposes himself. One of the nuns had a stroke but the other couldn't reach

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Got a new band. We play Highway To Hell and nothing else.

We're called OCDC

 

[Le Havre Oswald]

Have you tried the new sex position everyones talking about?

Its called yodel. You wait in all day and no one comes.

 

[The perfect fumble]

Not a joke, but funny nonetheless...

 

[jimharri]

The wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, two bottles of whisky and two loaves of bread.

"Are we expecting guests?" I asked.

"No," she replied.

"Then what's with all the bread?"

 

[tshirtman]

My mate was having a tattoo of an indian on his back

halfway through he said to the tattooist "don't forget his tomahawk"

The tattooist said "give me a chance mate I ain't finished his turban yet"