What have you done you are ashamed of

[Ancient Citizen]

"There's no cricket on today" or "what do you want to go there for?!" used to be my go to answers for that situation.

Indeed, Old Trafford is a place where I used to go and watch Lancashire batter Yorkshire,
not some crumbling rusting shit heap down the road that has some mid table football team in it.

 

[BimboBob]

Some of my distant ancestors may have been involved at some level in the slave trade over 400 years ago :-(

Pull them down and chuck them in a river.

 

[blueinsa]

Some of my distant ancestors may have been involved at some level in the slave trade over 400 years ago :-(

I voted to leave the EU so I've little doubt Beelzebub himself is a direct descendant of mine.

 

[peoffrey]

You should be ashamed if you pay

As far as we are aware it's free from the Euston m&s

I usually get 6 of the mixer cans and a bottle of red with a side of a bag of crisps. Go self serve till. Scan the crisps, jobs a good one

As I live in London then my salary is £4,000,000 a day. I can afford M&S quite easily.

 

[Two Gun Bob]

Are you still sticking to Sunblest loaves?

Farmfoods are running experiments on behalf of Her Majesty's Government to see if the working class possess taste buds. Sunblest loaves are made with love by masterbakers to test the hypothesis and taste too good for 39p. But In my opinion it's no good running experimental food surveys as the underclass eat like gannets and gulls swallowing their produce whole. It's an inbuilt defense mechanism in case they don't get to eat for another week. Us middle class tend to savour our food by gently rolling it around the pallet, eating for procrastinational and condversational pleasures, not just to survive. That is why we have started to shop in M and S food halls and tonight we are to dine on pulled beef and porcini en crouts (steak pie).

 

[Nellies left peg]

Farmfoods are running experiments on behalf of Her Majesty's Government to see if the working class possess taste buds. Sunblest loaves are made with love by masterbakers to test the hypothesis and taste too good for 39p. But In my opinion it's no good running experimental food surveys as the underclass eat like gannets and gulls swallowing their produce whole. It's an inbuilt defense mechanism in case they don't get to eat for another week. Us middle class tend to savour our food by gently rolling it around the pallet, eating for procrastinational and condversational pleasures, not just to survive. That is why we have started to shop in M and S food halls and tonight we are to dine on pulled beef and porcini en crouts (steak pie).

Washed down no doubt with a nice middle class red fresh off the M and S shelves or a wee dram from the flask in your sporran

 

[Blue Mist]

Until 1976 I was a member of the Scouts.

I was also Homophobic until the age of about 22.

Edit: This was a sarcastic post, a protest over the stupidity now happening where they want to destroy Lord Baden Powell's statue. The scout movement was and is a brilliant way of engaging with young people.

 

[Sir peace frog]

Until 1976 I was a member of the Scouts.

I was also Homophobic until I tried it.

edited

I was going to edit,until I fucked a scout,but thought that was a bit much

 

[Ban-jani]

Battered a lad because a “mate” at school said he was going around slagging me off, turns out he wasn’t and he was shocked as he thought I liked him.

Was only about 14 but I’ve learned my lesson.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

About 20 years ago I was waiting for the tram at piccadilly Gardens when some very nice and polite European tourists (German I think) asked me which tram to take for 'Manchester united' as they put it. I put them on the Bury line tram and told them to get off at Old Trafford. I waited for the next tram (as I was going to Bessie's oth barn) and didn't spot them at any station on they way so fuck knows what happened to them. They were really nice though and it was a bit of a Cunts trick really.

I did something similar to an Asian gent in Piccadilly Gdns years ago, he ended up going down Ashton old rd for some reason.

 

[Nellies left peg]

edited

I was going to edit,until I fucked a scout,but thought that was a bit much

Tried what? Scouting?

 

[Cellarite]

I’m struggling tonight. I was at work today and am the only first aider in the office block.

I was carrying out an audit in the factory where there is no tannoy. I was in the factory for about an hour. On my way back up, my boss rang me but we’re not supposed to use phones in the factory.

As I got upstairs, I went to ring him back and saw that my lad had text me to ask if I’d heard the tannoy for me.

I rang my boss and he said to get to the far end of the offices.

When I arrived, a lad in his mid 20’s had suffered a cardiac arrest and had not reacted to CPR from a first aider from another area. They’d got the defibrillator and after the first shock, started breathing again.

The paramedics arrived and took him away. It’s hard to tell how he was doing. I feel shit that the people around who saw it all unfold had to wait because I wasn’t in my office and they had to wait for someone else to come.

 

[Nellies left peg]

I’m struggling tonight. I was at work today and am the only first aider in the office block.

I was carrying out an audit in the factory where there is no tannoy. I was in the factory for about an hour. On my way back up, my boss rang me but we’re not supposed to use phones in the factory.

As I got upstairs, I went to ring him back and saw that my lad had text me to ask if I’d heard the tannoy for me.

I rang my boss and he said to get to the far end of the offices.

When I arrived, a lad in his mid 20’s had suffered a cardiac arrest and had not reacted to CPR from a first aider from another area. They’d got the defibrillator and after the first shock, started breathing again.

The paramedics arrived and took him away. It’s hard to tell how he was doing. I feel shit that the people around who saw it all unfold had to wait because I wasn’t in my office and they had to wait for someone else to come.

Hope he's OK. It wasn't your fault and you should not feel any guilt. Suggest an audit of the tannoy system ASAP also more first aid training

 

[PannickAtTheDisco]

Hope he's OK. It wasn't your fault and you should not feel any guilt. Suggest an audit of the tannoy system ASAP also more first aid training

It was an audit that caused the issue in the first place.

 

[PannickAtTheDisco]

Battered a lad because a “mate” at school said he was going around slagging me off, turns out he wasn’t and he was shocked as he thought I liked him.

Was only about 14 but I’ve learned my lesson.

well you're a skinhead so that's an unsurprising revelation.

 

[Blue Mist]

edited

I was going to edit,until I fucked a scout,but thought that was a bit much

Nah I would have still laughed, you should have gone with it :-)


(Not the scout)

 

[Cellarite]

It was an audit that caused the issue in the first place.

No, not an audit of the tannoy. Just an area inspection.

 

[AliBobbyJ]

I did something similar to an Asian gent in Piccadilly Gdns years ago, he ended up going down Ashton old rd for some reason.

Some years ago in Greenwich Village I was asked by a bunch of rags how to find a pub that was showing a big game U****d were playing. It was ten minutes to kick off. I knew where the pub was but it would have been half time before they found there were no pubs alongside the Hudson River.

Not really sorrry about that but do sort of regret stealing when I was 18. Broke and hungry in Rome I nicked three bars of chocolate from a souvenir stand. It was in St. Peter's.

 

[Ban-jani]

well you're a skinhead so that's an unsurprising revelation.

I wasn’t then, had lovely blonde hair!

 

[york away to this!]

I joined in with that "he's got a pineapple on his head" song in the kippax to that lad who had hair that one could possibly consider slightly resembled a pineapple...