Examples of stupidity.

A lad i was at school with was always bottom of the class, one day the teacher told us about how the bubonic plague/Black Death first came to England in 1345, how it started in Weymouth when rats left a ship that had arrived from France. Alf went home and told his dad, who made poor Alf look like Einstein. Next day Alf came in to school and told the teacher "Miss, we were going to go to Weymouth for our holidays but now my dad's cancelled it."
 
Newman Noggs said:
When I first started going out with my ex-wife she was trying to impress me by knowing City's score. One day I came in and said, "what score was City today?". She said "0-0". I said "very good. What was the score at half time ?". She said, "no idea, I only checked at the end"
Click to expand...

well yours was a stupid question to be fair.
 
I was stood in a queue in Tesco the other week.

The checkout assistant was talking about Covid and lockdown and the customer in front of me mentioned that her aunt had just come out of hospital after Covid treatment but was still unwell.

The checkout person - “I don’t believe it me. I think it’s all a conspiracy”
 
Many years ago me and my mate were camping in France on the Med. There were 3 absolutely gorgeous geordie girls we fancied.
One day we had been for a sort of swim and as we came out the water the girls were there. I told them we had just swum to Africa, no way they said, it's miles away. They were clearly blown away by our sporting prowess so I thought I would add to the story and told them it was shit because the bastards had turned us back at the beach because we didnt have our passports.
They clearly believed us because the next day someone asked us if we were the guys who had swum to Africa.
 
Many years ago, as a teenager, I was in Poundland with my parents. After several minutes looking around the shop my Dad says “this is a really great shop with lots of different things, but the problem is there’s no prices on anything”. Utter facepalm.
 
Tuearts right boot said:
When we were building a house a while ago and we needed to measure something long I would always hold the tape and feed the end out to her indoors and then ask her " how long is it at your end ?"

It worked a couple of times....

I didn't think there was a unit of measurement called ' A dick 'ed '
Click to expand...
That's why it's called "the stupid end" ; )
 
I received a text after we had a death in the family .
“Sorry for your loss, we will have to meet up when this lockdown is over.
Me: Sorry, I don’t recognise this number?
Mystery Texter: Oh sorry, I didn’t think to put my name.

That was the end of it!
 
Butchering an elk and sliced my finger open. Presently in the clinic waiting for a stitch or two
 
Newman Noggs said:
Same here with my dad. Sad and rather worrying at the time.
Click to expand...

Yeah...my mum did some realy stupid things whilst she was alive with dementia. Stupid in so far as they would seem obvious in a funny way...putting the dirty dishes out in the rain to rinse them off, putting a hot water bottle in microwave, giving the cat coffe grounds " she likes them you know...." Calling me ' her husband' as I was once married to him you know...and worse, us thinking her husband might be dead, she, stating that he'd not moved or spoken to her for 2 days, FFS Mother, the whole family was trying to phone, drive or fly back just to check up. Had the fire brigade round 4 times in a week as she'd put bread in the toaster and then wander off. Carnival atmosphere round her house as it was lit up like Blackpool with 2 fire engines, we'd fly round and there's mum walking out of a smoking house with a tray of tea and biscuits for the firemen, not knowing what all the fuss was about, whilst they are scanning the place with thermal cameras....She made the local papers twice, not exactly difficult round here. We eventually found out that when she'd cleaned the toaster she's inadvertantly turned the knobs round to full...... she was on their christmas card list.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Unread Posts

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top