Seeing an awful lot of people struggling on here at the moment, and fucking hell I can relate. But I will say, please do carry on venting on here though! Fuck anyone who calls you negative or a doom monger. If it helps you in anyway at all, do it. Saying the thing you fear out loud is a very normal coping mechanism, even if it feels nihilistic. Verbalising worries is sumat that we need to. Especially blokes - we're shite at this kinda thing. I've used this forum so many times to simply get things off my chest. Even though it solves nothing, and it almost certainly annoys some people on here (sorry, it isnt intentional), I always feel better for having typed something out and posted it, even if it is incredibly bleak. I don't know why. I'd guess just even one person replying, or acknowledging they feel the same...well, it kinda makes you feel a bit more normal and 'heard'. Chances are if you're feeling the urge to vent, then you need to. So do it.
For example, on a personal level, I've struggled with this big time. I can't help but feel this was the year where my life was meant to crack on. I've got a general fear of losing time as my parents get older (I want them to be grandparents to my kids!) - not being able to hug them for ages, not being able to get married, we'd hoped to buy a house too, plus maybe even look to settle down to start our own family. Well, it's hit me quite hard losing all that time. I know i'm not unique, but it doesn't mean I'm not allowed to think and feel down about these kind of things. Like any of us do. We all do. We've all got more time to think about things that worry us too (no fun distractions allowed in tier 3!) which is why I think everything is amplified.
I know no one is interested in hearing my life story ha, but I guess my point was that I just wanted to show that literally none of us are alone in feeling low, incase any of you feel we are. We all have our own problems. Some small (like mine, relatively speaking) and some much bigger. However, it doesn't mean the problems are irrelevant and won't crush us at times. We all feel how we do for very valid reasons I'd guess. We're living in a perpetual state of worry and concern about our loved ones, and we've normalised hearing how many die each day. How is that not gonna have an affect on us? It does, of course does! I'm almost certain too that if anyone feels like they're handling it worse than others, chances are you're not. I often feel like I am, but then i'm reminded, thankfully by people close to me, and often just strangers on forums/twitter, that it'd be odd if we all weren't a bit fed up by now. It's only human that we feel this way.
I've struggled like many, but I do hand on heart think we're so close to then other side of this. I genuinely believe that. I've read enough and researched enough into it that I believe we're nearing the end, even if it is gonna be a painful winter. Hang on in there everyone. Finally, fuck off social media a fair bit, and even this forum if possible (sorry, Ric). Cut down the use - makes me feel well better when I stop 'doomscrolling' (an actual thing) and go for a walk! I feel so much better when I get my headphones on, put some music on and get out. Even just along castlefield's canals for 45 minutes. I usually pop starbucks on the way and grab a takeaway coffee too. There's sumat about buying a takeaway coffee that feels normal. Fuck knows why, but it feels reassuring just to go starbucks currently ffs! ha.
Anyway, keep safe and sensible all and just crack on. Hope you all have a lovely christmas! One of those years where you've got to make what you can of a shit hand dealt. It will get better though! Dunno if anyone needed to read that, and sorry if it was a bit waffly, but big love blues! Life will get better!
