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Examples of stupidity.
- Thread starter everythingchangesbutblue
- Start date
mancity2012_eamo
Well-Known Member
Doing the exact same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
Mazzarelli's Swiss Cheese
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- 12 Apr 2019
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- FC Zurich (and city of course)
Not that simple mate. If @dronefromsector7G fucked off everytime he was told to he'd be further away than that Mars rover now.Not fucking of when you've been told to fuck off.
A miserable old tradesman I used to work with when I was serving my time was a bit absent minded and got loads of phrases/meanings wrong.
After any disagreements he regularly accused me of having "no brains at all..........not one", another thing he said all the time was "quote me if I,m wrong".(instead of correct me).
One time we were working in a nice old lady,s house who brought us a cup of tea, and when she enquired about how the work was going, he said......these jobs can be fcking bastards sometimes!!!. She was gobsmacked, but never complained or anything, later, when I pulled him up on it, he swore he hadnt said it!!!
After any disagreements he regularly accused me of having "no brains at all..........not one", another thing he said all the time was "quote me if I,m wrong".(instead of correct me).
One time we were working in a nice old lady,s house who brought us a cup of tea, and when she enquired about how the work was going, he said......these jobs can be fcking bastards sometimes!!!. She was gobsmacked, but never complained or anything, later, when I pulled him up on it, he swore he hadnt said it!!!
SWPISHOME
Well-Known Member
A lad started work with us not so long ago his job was to assemble office swivel chairs, Anyway, I made a few up as I had to show him and he just had to watch and learn. He start making them with me all was going well, I said "I'll leave you to it any hassle give me a shout".
He comes over a few minutes later and says "I'm after making a mistake I put on all the castors backwards". I started to laugh as I though he was just joking. He said "I'm really sorry". That's when I knew he was being serious. I told him to wheel the chair, As he watched the wheels obviously move.
He comes over a few minutes later and says "I'm after making a mistake I put on all the castors backwards". I started to laugh as I though he was just joking. He said "I'm really sorry". That's when I knew he was being serious. I told him to wheel the chair, As he watched the wheels obviously move.
Blue Theatre
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- Joined
- 14 Feb 2011
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- 1,741
When my wife & I visited Anne Frank's House in Amsterdam, many moons ago ... we heard the guy behind us in the queue whisper to his wife to ask her:
"So, what had she done to upset the Germans ?".
"So, what had she done to upset the Germans ?".
A miserable old tradesman I used to work with when I was serving my time was a bit absent minded and got loads of phrases/meanings wrong.
After any disagreements he regularly accused me of having "no brains at all..........not one", another thing he said all the time was "quote me if I,m wrong".(instead of correct me).
One time we were working in a nice old lady,s house who brought us a cup of tea, and when she enquired about how the work was going, he said......these jobs can be fcking bastards sometimes!!!. She was gobsmacked, but never complained or anything, later, when I pulled him up on it, he swore he hadnt said it!!!
Worked with a few of these in my time. West and South Yorkshiremen mostly; shit for brains and unprofessional in front of the wrong audience.
blue b4 the moon
Well-Known Member
Mate and it really was a mate was driving in the summer on the M6 on a warm day, flies hitting windscreen etc. His then wife reading a book so not seeing the flies, decides as it's too hot and opens the side window. He tells her to close it as sticking her arm out of the window will end up with insects all over it.
''Don't be fucking stupid, flies don't use motorways' was her reply.
''Don't be fucking stupid, flies don't use motorways' was her reply.
OK this wasn't a mate, it wasn't even Mrs Mist, it was me...
We were in France at a friend's house. She had some pink salt on the table, I hadn't seen pink salt so picked up the bottle to read the name, 'oh right Hi ma lion, I said' that's different'
It was of course Himalayan salt. Worra knob.
We were in France at a friend's house. She had some pink salt on the table, I hadn't seen pink salt so picked up the bottle to read the name, 'oh right Hi ma lion, I said' that's different'
It was of course Himalayan salt. Worra knob.
richardtheref
Well-Known Member
My next door neighbour is as thick as a whale omelette. Once came round and asked me if there was enoughtime to walk down to the brownies before it started raining. When I said I had no idea she asked if my wife would know.
She also once asked if I knew how to stop flies hitting your windscreen in the summer.
She also once asked if I knew how to stop flies hitting your windscreen in the summer.
blue b4 the moon
Well-Known Member
Last ones easy, drive in reverse.My next door neighbour is as thick as a whale omelette. Once came round and asked me if there was enoughtime to walk down to the brownies before it started raining. When I said I had no idea she asked if my wife would know.
She also once asked if I knew how to stop flies hitting your windscreen in the summer.
Name a bird with a long neck?Family Fortunes
Question........name something on your body that you only have one of?
Contestant........big toe
Naomi cambell.
bluemoon32
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Shouldn't laugh but......When my wife & I visited Anne Frank's House in Amsterdam, many moons ago ... we heard the guy behind us in the queue whisper to his wife to ask her:
"So, what had she done to upset the Germans ?".
Was that recent?OK this wasn't a mate, it wasn't even Mrs Mist, it was me...
We were in France at a friend's house. She had some pink salt on the table, I hadn't seen pink salt so picked up the bottle to read the name, 'oh right Hi ma lion, I said' that's different'
It was of course Himalayan salt. Worra knob.
About 4 maybe 5 years ago :-)Was that recent?
I still pronounce it it that way,
Hi ma lion just to take the piss out of myself. Michael Palin was on tele last night in the Hi ma liars :-)
Keep that brain active and fight it off :PAbout 4 maybe 5 years ago :-)
I still pronounce it it that way,
Hi ma lion just to take the piss out of myself. Michael Palin was on tele last night in the Hi ma liars :-)
laserblue
Well-Known Member
One I have to own up to was when we were on the beach in Dubai many moons ago. One of the people there came round with cold towels, water, etc. I was also offered a couple of cucumber slices which I took and promptly ate. Mrs laser called me every daft twat under the sun.