Joke thread

mrbelfry said:
This reminds me of my wife's grandads favourite joke.

A man goes into a barbers and asks for a haircut like Tony Curtis. The barber pulls out a razor and shaves the customers head. The customer complains "this isnt how tony curtis has his hair." The barber replies "It was in the King and I".

Used to crack him up that joke. He's dead now
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Yul regret telling this joke!!!!
 
mrbelfry said:
This reminds me of my wife's grandads favourite joke.

A man goes into a barbers and asks for a haircut like Tony Curtis. The barber pulls out a razor and shaves the customers head. The customer complains "this isnt how tony curtis has his hair." The barber replies "It was in the King and I".

Used to crack him up that joke. He's dead now
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I always thought it was - "He would if he came in here"
 
mrbelfry said:
This reminds me of my wife's grandads favourite joke.

A man goes into a barbers and asks for a haircut like Tony Curtis. The barber pulls out a razor and shaves the customers head. The customer complains "this isnt how tony curtis has his hair." The barber replies "It was in the King and I".

Used to crack him up that joke. He's dead now
Click to expand...
Or ...
That isn't how Tony Curtis has it cut.
The barber replies it is if he comes here
 
My hamster was poorly earlier this week, so phoned the vet for advise.

He told me to cover it in warm jam, it didn’t work and it died.

So I buried the whole sticky mess in to my back garden.

I woke up this morning and there were daffodils growing on the spot I had buried it.
I didn't realize you could get tulips from hamster jam.
 
Bill Walker said:
My hamster was poorly earlier this week, so phoned the vet for advise.

He told me to cover it in warm jam, it didn’t work and it died.

So I buried the whole sticky mess in to my back garden.

I woke up this morning and there were daffodils growing on the spot I had buried it.
I didn't realize you could get tulips from hamster jam.
Click to expand...
Tulips are not daffodils.
 
Bill Walker said:
My hamster was poorly earlier this week, so phoned the vet for advise.

He told me to cover it in warm jam, it didn’t work and it died.

So I buried the whole sticky mess in to my back garden.

I woke up this morning and there were daffodils growing on the spot I had buried it.
I didn't realize you could get tulips from hamster jam.
Click to expand...
Bill, thank you for your input, our team are grateful for customer interaction and engagement. Here at Bluemoon we strive to do our very best for our loyal customers but we would like to mention that daffodils are not tulips. Please resubmit your entry after removing the offending word and inserting flowers.
Thank you in anticipation.
 
Blue Mist said:
Bill, thank you for your input, our team are grateful for customer interaction and engagement. Here at Bluemoon we strive to do our very best for our loyal customers but we would like to mention that daffodils are not tulips. Please resubmit your entry after removing the offending word and inserting flowers.
Thank you in anticipation.
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200.gif
 
Dirty Harry said:
I think (as I saw it anyway) it's saying religion is bullshit, the guy believes Jesus is going to save him, the reality is the second picture.
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Ah but it portrayed Jesus and he was apparently real, therefore if he had trusted Jesus to catch him he would have been uninjured. It seems from the second picture that he told Jesus to fuck off, which he did. Surely the moral of the story is, if some bloke is willing to catch you, trust him, (unless he tells you he has fed the 5,000 as clearly he is not Sir Rashford of Marcus and therefore a liar)
 
Blue Mist said:
Ah but it portrayed Jesus and he was apparently real, therefore if he had trusted Jesus to catch him he would have been uninjured. It seems from the second picture that he told Jesus to fuck off, which he did. Surely the moral of the story is, if some bloke is willing to catch you, trust him, (unless he tells you he has fed the 5,000 as clearly he is not Sir Rashford of Marcus and therefore a liar)
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Jesus isn't real though lol, as I saw it, he was real in his own mind mate, which is depicted in the first picture, the second being reality, I suppose it would help if there were 'thought bubbles', but maybe that would make it too obvious ?
 
Dirty Harry said:
Jesus isn't real though lol, as I saw it, he was real in his own mind mate, which is depicted in the first picture, the second being reality, I suppose it would help if there were 'thought bubbles', but maybe that would make it too obvious ?
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Oh you've done it now Jesus wasn't real !!!!! I await plagues of locusts and bolts of lighting being sent your way by the blue biblical believers.
 
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