Post Something Interesting

[Blue Mist]

Is this a euphemism for sex?
Hey mister, will you dangle your bollocks in my pond?
Yes, but I'll have to trim your lillies first.

I was wondering that myself. I presumed it was like the pampas grass thing.


So I am going round tonight at 7

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Is this a euphemism for sex?
Hey mister, will you dangle your bollocks in my pond?
Yes, but I'll have to trim your lillies first.

Well it's a bit more up market than..." Fancy a shag mate "

 

[mancity2012_eamo]

cheers mate. Remember that 1st one well. Propar New Years hangover from hell.

You’re only averaging 3.2 miles a day you lazy git.
You and the bees have a lot in common. ;-)

 

[BlueHammer85]

You’re only averaging 3.2 miles a day you lazy git.
You and the bees have a lot in common. ;-)

i worked out it was 3.9 miles :)

 

[mancity2012_eamo]

i worked out it was 3.9 miles :)

2979/930=3.203225806451613

Skiver!

 

[Cellarite]

They can often look embarrassed when they know they're doing something forbidden, and they get caught in the act by their master. You don't even need to bawl them out. They just look at you, as if to say, “Yep, it's a fair cop”.
A cat'll just stare you down. It knows it's done something wrong, but it's just a “Fuck you” look.

When we get the lead and harness out to take our dog out, she occasionally (maybe once every ten times) legs it and hides under the dining room table.

We used to play into her hands (paws?!?) and chase her around but have learned to just be disappointed. A loud "Oh no" followed by announcing to the kids that we're going for a walk sees her come out all apologetically like she was just messing. She's our first dog and we've had her for three years. It's fascinating watching all her behaviours.

 

[Bill Walker]

I have run 930 days in a row.
Total distance of 2,979 miles.

Wow.......That's the distance from Brisbane to Perth, across the Nullarbor Plain.

A 47 hour drive or 5 hour flight.

Well done !

 

[BlueHammer85]

2979/930=3.203225806451613

Skiver!

dam, i need to up my game for last 70 days

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

Biggs is a wus.


There see I said it.

You are the biggest wuss of all when it comes to buying a round.

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

@Bigg Bigg Blue get him

Consider him got.

 

[Dr Dweeb]

1 Light Year is about 6 Trillion miles. Our nearest star Proxima Centauri is 4.3 Light Years away.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

Will be interesting to see if drone ever buys a round.

 

[kaz7]

Will be interesting to see if drone ever buys a round.

@dronefromsector7G get him

When though ?

 

[Tuearts right boot]

So which is it then, flammable or inflammable ??

 

[Two Gun Bob]

Samsung 9 phones are waterproof to IP 64.

We came in from a pleasant afternoon in the garden and whilst she put away the sun loungers my task was to clean out all the rubbish and empties from our cooler bag and then make us a long drink with ice.

I emptied the cans and half eaten butties and placed the cooler bag on the floor of the shower tray. Then I stood there filling it up to the brim with the shower head to rinse the crumbs and debris out and then like a scene from Das Boat her phone came floating up from the depths surfacing bow first. My elderly arse went into overdrive and I scooped it out, frantically shaking it before wrapping it up in a towel and praise be to Jesus it still appeared to work.

So I cracked on with task two and I got our best Debenhams goblet gin glasses out of the cupboard and then reached up for the metal optic dispenser but sadly my hand on the down-swing glanced the glass and it split in half with my thumb ploughing through it's middle. I saw the blood and couldn't even bear to look anymore. I thought my thumb had been severed and I almost fainted. Anyway it wasn't so I Savloned up and finished off with a band aid.

Back to the phone because then she shouts me in and said it's not even charging? Moisture warning- Moisture Warning - Remove Charger Immediately- blah blah blah so I told her as it had been out in the sun it was probably just sweating. Anyway after 1 hour in a bag of rice I removed the sim and there was no evidence of water ingress so for good luck I placed it in front of our heatwave fans for an hour. Still no joy so as a last resort rebooted it, cleared memory and all's well again in the Dorf.

So to recap the Samsung 9 has an ingress protection rating to IP68 and can withstand submersion in up 4 feet of water for thirty minutes : /

 

[Dicko69]

1 Light Year is about 6 Trillion miles. Our nearest star Proxima Centauri is 4.3 Light Years away.

2nd nearest star, our nearest star, the sun, is just under 93million miles away

 

[Blue Mist]

Samsung 9 phones are waterproof to IP 64.

We came in from a pleasant afternoon in the garden and whilst she put away the sun loungers my task was to clean out all the rubbish and empties from our cooler bag and then make us a long drink with ice.

I emptied the cans and half eaten butties and placed the cooler bag on the floor of the shower tray. Then I stood there filling it up to the brim with the shower head to rinse the crumbs and debris out and then like a scene from Das Boat her phone came floating up from the depths surfacing bow first. My elderly arse went into overdrive and I scooped it out, frantically shaking it before wrapping it up in a towel and praise be to Jesus it still appeared to work.

So I cracked on with task two and I got our best Debenhams goblet gin glasses out of the cupboard and then reached up for the metal optic dispenser but sadly my hand on the down-swing glanced the glass and it split in half with my thumb ploughing through it's middle. I saw the blood and couldn't even bear to look anymore. I thought my thumb had been severed and I almost fainted. Anyway it wasn't so I Savloned up and finished off with a band aid.

Back to the phone because then she shouts me in and said it's not even charging? Moisture warning- Moisture Warning - Remove Charger Immediately- blah blah blah so I told her as it had been out in the sun it was probably just sweating. Anyway after 1 hour in a bag of rice I removed the sim and there was no evidence of water ingress so for good luck I placed it in front of our heatwave fans for an hour. Still no joy so as a last resort rebooted it, cleared memory and all's well again in the Dorf.

So to recap the Samsung 9 has an ingress protection rating to IP68 and can withstand submersion in up 4 feet of water for thirty minutes : /

Sod the phone she can get another one, how's the thumb you can't get another of them

 

[andyhinch]

So which is it then, flammable or inflammable ??

They are both the same

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

Sod the phone she can get another one, how's the thumb you can't get another of them

If he has to have his thumb amputated he can simply get another from the nearest joke shop and do hiding the hanky tricks. Bet people a pint on it, a winner every time; )

 

[Two Gun Bob]

Sod the phone she can get another one, how's the thumb you can't get another of them

I put some steri strips on the cut and a few plasters over that to keep it rigid. Check it in the morning to see if it needs further attention but the movements all good so no apparent damage. That phones a miracle of modern science and athough Samsung say they can be submersed, it's probably best not to.